A brand new day
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: What if Xander had listened to Willow up on the bluff and didn't talk her out of destroying the world?
1. Chapter 1

**A Brand New Day**

 **Disclaimer: I own no commercial property nor claim any of the characters herein regardless of any claims made by any existent media company. (That should be enough quasi-legal mumbo jumbo to avoid attracting the attentions of the Dark Ones who wear suits and sit in judgment.)**

"...I'll still love you," Xander told her, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her.

Willow cried and clutched him. "You don't understand, I have to do this!"

"You don't have to destroy the world, but more importantly you don't have to destroy yourself," Xander told her. "Tara's loss won't hurt forever, not like ending the world will."

Willow gave out a broken laugh. "The end is the beginning. Please, you have to trust me."

"I... alright," Xander said, ignoring everything he thought he knew about the situation and trusting her, his oldest friend.

She turned, pushing him behind her and turning in his arms to face the statue once more. "Hold me tight," she begged.

"I will," he swore, as she raised her arms and fed the statue her... their life force.

"What are you doing?" he asked, feeling the strain.

"Remaking everything," Willow replied intently. "All our loved ones back..."

"OK," Xander said, gripping her tightly as his hair began to gray.

"I love you," Willow said as the world dissolved in a wave of power.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

 ***BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP***

Xander woke with a start, staring around himself in shock as he struggled to sort out two conflicting sets of memories. He remembered Sunnydale in all its bloodstained glory, but he also remembered Sunnyvale, a town that was everything Sunnydale promised.

His home life had changed drastically, instead of being the only child of a pair of borderline alcoholics who barely got along, he was the adopted son of... Shelia and Ira Rosenberg. The Rosenbergs had adopted him not knowing that Shelia was several months along at the time, so he'd grown up with Willow as his sister... leading to them leaving Willow in his care even more than in their first life. Still, with Xander there, Willow hadn't cared nearly as much.

The pair were thick as thieves and had completely wrecked the grade curve, leading to them being in roughly the same social position as they had been in Sunnydale, not that they cared, though it had stung a little when Jessie had started dating Cordelia and had ditched them. And speaking of his love life… Instead of the string of near disasters his love life had been in Sunnydale, here he hadn't really dated that much, beyond casual meet ups and a crush on a teacher or two. He wasn't sure which was better, a dangerous and painful love life or not having one at all.

The town residents were much the same, at least he assumed so as not being part of a demon hunting group, or there being one at all, had changed who he dealt with from day to day and who he was familiar with in this life.

Joyce hadn't died, but it was a couple of years before that point in the timeline, so it might still occur, having nothing to do with demons. Xander had never met her as he and Buffy weren't friends, running in completely different circles in this life, but he had seen her and Dawn at several school functions. Giles was the school Principal and Miss Calendar the vice Principal, while Snyder was the surly janitor. Both Warren and Anya were missing, but he wasn't sure if that meant they were dead or he had just never met them. Andrew and Jonathan appeared the same as they had been.

He jumped out of bed, shut off the alarm and rushed into Willow's room. She'd barely gotten up herself and looked completely surprised as he threw his arms around her and hugged her tightly.

"Something wrong?" she asked, hugging him.

"Just a bad dream," he replied, not letting go. "How'd you sleep?" he asked.

"I slept fine, no dreams at all," Willow promised.

"That's good," he said, guessing she'd gotten rid of all her memories of Sunnydale. As long as it made her happy, he was fine with it. Their new world was lacking in demons and dark magic as far as he could tell and that was fine with him too.

"Are you going to let me go or are you planning to shower with me?" she joked, trying to cheer him up.

Xander picked her up and started moving towards the bathroom.

"Xander, I was joking!" Willow squeaked out.

He grinned and set her back down. "So was I, I'm just really relieved you're OK."

"That must have been a really bad dream," Willow said, concerned.

"Yeah, no more horror moving marathons for me," he said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need a shower."

"Alright... Hey wait! I've got first shower!" Willow said, rushing past him for the bathroom.

Xander let her win, grinning at her laughter as she slammed the bathroom door before he could enter.

Xander borrowed their absentee parent's shower, pausing to examine himself in the mirror as he noted the complete lack of scars and surprisingly blue eyes. "And now we have that in common," he said before glancing down. "At least she didn't feel the need to change anything else."

He was clean and dressed before she finished her shower, thanks to being male and having short hair. He could hear her getting dressed as he started breakfast, electing to go for French toast since it was fast and easy. He hummed as he buzzed around the kitchen, the eggs cracking perfectly for once, before he added the cinnamon and mixed them up.

 ***Ding Dong***

Xander went to answer the door, but froze on opening it.

"Hello," a familiar looking blonde said shyly.

"Tara!" Xander exclaimed, sweeping her up in his arms and giving her an enormous hug.

"Eep!" Tara turned bright red and Xander set her down.

"Sorry, had a bad dream," he said. "Just happy to see you alive and well. Come on in and have some French toast!"

A confused Tara found herself sitting at the Rosenberg's dining table being served breakfast a few seconds later. She shot Willow a questioning glance, but Willow just shrugged and slipped into the seat next to her.

"How are my two favorite girls this morning?" he asked while serving them.

"Good," Willow offered. "Was the dream really that bad?"

"Yes, and now I am going to repress every little bit of it," Xander said cheerfully. "Just think of it as every monster movie you know stuck in a blender and you won't be far off."

"Creature from the Black Lagoon?" Willow asked impulsively.

"The swim coach experimented on the swimming team," Xander replied.

"The Invisible Man?" Tara asked, surprising them both.

"Marci, a rather average girl, was ignored until she turned invisible, which drove her mad and she started murdering all the popular kids," Xander said.

"Frankenstein?" Willow asked.

"One of the chess team resurrected his older brother and was trying to make him the perfect bride by using bits of various girls," Xander said. "He wanted to stick your brain in Cordelia's head to attach to the body he'd already assembled thanks to a bus crash and the gymnastics team."

"That is one comprehensive dream," Tara said.

"Yeah," Xander agreed, "no more horror movies for me, I'm sticking to Disney for the foreseeable future."

Willow laughed and Tara hid a giggle behind her hand.

"Let me grab my stuff and we'll be good to go," Xander said, getting up and heading up the stairs.

"I thought he was jealous of all the time you spent with me," Tara said, "this is a big change."

"Yeah, that nightmare really shook him up," Willow agreed. "Think I should tell him about us?"

Tara chewed her bottom lip as she thought.

"I'll wait until we can see if his new change in attitude is permanent," Willow decided.

"That's probably for the best," Tara said, leaning forward to give Willow a kiss since they were alone together.

They quickly pulled apart a minute later as they heard Xander bouncing down the stairs, singing the Mighty Mouse theme song. He swept through the room putting everything in its place and the dishes in the sink, his former bad mood forgotten.

"Let us sally forth and wreck the grade curve!" Xander said grandly, making them laugh as they headed for school.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Xander was putting his books away and getting ready for lunch when he caught sight of Larry Blaisdell heading for Tara.

Larry Blaisdell had died a hero, facing down the town mayor turned giant demonic snake with a homemade flamethrower... but for a long time before that he had been a closeted homosexual who took out his confusion and self hatred on those around him by acting like the living stereotype of the high school bully and football player and in Sunnyvale he had yet to grow out of that stage.

Xander slammed his locker shut and moved quickly to catch up with Larry. He arrived just in time as Larry put an arm up to hem Tara in. Seeing the frightened look on her face, he didn't hesitate to body check Larry out of the way. "Hi Honey," he said cheerfully, "looks like I'm going to have to skip lunch with you, but you know how it is."

Before she could respond, Xander was yanked around and Larry swung at him. Only a couple of blows were exchanged before the pair were collared by the coach and drug off.

"What happened?" Willow asked, arriving a bit late as she'd had to talk to the teacher about the appropriateness of the subject of her history report on presidential assassins and their political ideologies.

"Larry tried to come on to me and Xander... took exception," Tara said slowly. "They got into a fight and the coach took them to his office."

"Xander got into a fight?" Willow asked in disbelief.

"Over me," Tara said. "I think... he likes me."

"Xander?" Willow said in shock.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Larry, you've been pushing it lately and I saw enough to say you were out of line here," Coach Marin said. "Rosenberg... You know the rules, even if you're right, you're wrong for fighting." He paced back and forth in front of the pair. "Now I have to come up with an appropriate punishment for the two of you."

"Have us run laps," Larry suggested.

"A few laps aren't gonna cut it," the coach said.

"So, don't make it a few," Xander said. "You give a lecture on appropriate behavior in school to the class while we spend all class doing laps behind you. It punishes us both in such a way Larry doesn't miss a game, but no one can say you're going easy on us."

"I'd run you into the ground," Larry said with a snort.

"Please," Xander said, "I got twenty that says you fall out before I do!"

"This could work," Coach Marin said, stroking his beard. "I start you off running a couple minutes before class starts and everyone will assume you've been running even longer."

"You're on," Larry told Xander. "I got twenty on me. You?"

"In my wallet," Xander replied.

"Get stretched and changed," Marin ordered.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Where has Xander gotten to?" Willow worried as she and Tara changed for gym. "He better not have gotten expelled!"

"They wouldn't expel him for a single fight," Tara assured her, "especially since no one was injured."

Willow took a deep breath and slowly let it out, forcing herself to calm down.

"For a nerd he was showing a decent amount of backbone," Buffy told Cordelia, as she tightened the laces on her shoes.

"Even if he is a nerd, he's still a guy," Cordelia said, rolling her eyes. "Larry should have known better than to hit on his girl. Rosenberg isn't a big enough wimp to ignore that."

"His girl?" Tara squeaked, turning bright red.

Cordelia laughed. "Please, he only hangs around with one girl he isn't related to."

"Not exactly a big secret," Buffy agreed.

As the girls filed out of the girl's locker room, Tara turned to Willow. "Have I been... dating your brother?"

Willow mentally went over all the time the three spent together, wondering if maybe he hadn't been annoyed with Willow rather than jealous of Tara taking up her time.

"Maybe..." Willow offered.

"Oh... OK," Tara said before starting to hyperventilate.

"Slow deep breaths!" Willow yelped, grabbing Tara by the shoulders. "Try and calm down. We can work this all out!"

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Xander and Larry completed their fifth lap, keeping a slow but steady pace so they wouldn't wear themselves out too fast.

"One and a quarter miles," Larry said, trying not to sound too out of breath, even though he was starting to feel the burn in his thighs. While he wasn't a long distance runner, he was in excellent shape.

"Tell me when we reach five," Xander challenged, finding running a lot easier than he thought it would be, but getting a little thirsty.

"-and posture and body language also play a part in how you are perceived by others," Coach Marin lectured the class who was sitting in the bleachers in front of him while the two boys ran laps behind him.

"But I like aggressive," Harmony complained, before realizing she'd interrupted the class and shrank back.

"No, that's fine," Coach Marin assured her. "Not everyone is the same. That is also something you have to take into account. If you aren't sure of something, ask. Miscommunications are one of the biggest problems with relationships, but back to topic. Your behavior on school grounds is expected to be above reproach. I don't care what you do off campus, but on campus I expect hands where I can see them and lips to remain untouched. Hugs... you got about two seconds. Everyone clear?"

"Yes, coach," the class chorused.

"But what if he doesn't read the hints?" Harmony spoke up. "I mean, I don't want to lead the guy by the hand!"

The coach paused, wondering when his lecture on appropriate school behavior had turned into dating advice, but seeing the confused and hopeful faces in front of him, he couldn't just brush the question off. "All the stuff you see in the movies or read about in stories where the people who just met are in complete sync about what they want? Forget it, it's crap. No, that is the behavior of a couple who has been together for a decent amount of time and talked openly about what they want. You are actually going to have to hold their hand and tell them everything to get what you want."

"Aww," Harmony slumped, as did a number of other students.

"Don't look too disheartened," he said, "you only have to walk them through it once or twice, after that they should know what to do."

Harmony perked right back up.

"That doesn't just apply to the boys, girls... guys are pretty easy in most cases but remember to check with them as well. Any other questions?"

"Can you get pregnant the first time?" someone called out.

"It's possible to get pregnant without any penetration whatsoever," he said, horrifying the group.

Xander turned to Larry. "I wonder what he said?" he asked as they saw the looks on their faces.

"I don't know," Larry panted out, beginning to flag.

"I'll ask the coach for some water on our next go around," Xander decided, taking deeper breaths but not nearly as tired as Larry.

"Thanks," Larry grunted out.

 **Near the end of class**

Tara held out a bottle of water for Xander to grab as he went past, Willow doing the same for Larry.

"I can't believe they're still going," Willow said as the boys took the bottles and drank while on the move, though at half the speed they had started with.

Tara nodded.

"Those girls are angels," Larry gasped out.

"And taken," Xander said between gulps of water.

"They're not my type," Larry admitted.

"I know," Xander replied.

"You know?" Larry squeaked and stumbled.

Xander dropped the bottle and kept Larry from falling. "Yeah, don't sweat it."

"But..."

"Dude, it's not that big a deal, at least not to me," Xander promised.

The pair were moving a lot slower, staggering as they helped hold each other up.

"Not so sure anyone else would agree," Larry said.

"You never know until you try, but really... how often does it come up? It's like my thing for blondes who are double jointed, it's private and no one's business unless they happen to be a blonde I'm dating," Xander said.

"Huh," Larry said slowly. "I always thought it was all or nothing and you had to change your life and join a bunch of clubs."

The pair were barely moving, their feet dragging with each step.

"Nah, just makes it easier to find like minded people is all."

 ***RING***

The pair collapsed to the ground like puppets with their strings cut.

"This is the most comfortable ground ever," Xander decided.

"Yes, yes it is," Larry agreed.

Tara and Willow rushed over to check on Xander.

"Are you alright?!" Willow exclaimed, rolling him over.

"Just tired... and still thirsty," Xander said.

"Tara, sorry for earlier, I was a bit of a jerk," Larry said, not moving from his face down position. "Even if you weren't dating someone else, I was out of line."

"Th-thank you," Tara stuttered out.

The coach came over to the four. "Girls, you better get going or you'll miss your next class. Boys, nice teamwork. I'll write you an excuse for next period."

"Thanks coach," the pair chorused, as the girls departed.

"Want me to turn on the sprinklers?" he asked.

"Yes, coach," the pair chorused.

"I'll go do that, try not to drown," Coach Marin said, before walking off.

"Yes, coach!"

As the sprinklers came on they sighed in relief.

"Best coach ever," Larry said.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"I'm dating Xander," Tara said nervously.

"Yeah," Willow agreed with a groan.

"How did this happen?"

"I don't know," Willow admitted.

"We really should have told him about us," Tara said.

"Looks that way," Willow agreed.

"I'm dating twins," Tara said with a snicker.

"Hey- Actually you kinda are," Willow admitted, as Xander and Willow always claimed to be twins, since they were so close in age no one would know the difference without checking their birth certificates.

"How am I going to straighten this out?" Tara asked Willow.

"Carefully and while doing your best not to break my brother's heart," Willow suggested.

"I'll take it slow," Tara promised, seeing how concerned Willow was about her brother's feelings.

"Good," Willow said with a sigh. "Thankfully Xander isn't a complete horndog and is pretty shy himself."

"He's a sweetie," Tara agreed.

"Well, off to history, and simpler questions like the effects superhumans had on each World War," Willow said.

"A much easier topic," Tara agreed. "I think I know a little more about Wonder Woman's actions than the types of perfumes guys like."

"Or lip-gloss flavors they prefer," Willow teased.

Tara developed an evil grin for a moment that she pushed down to try and sound innocent as she asked, "Does Xander like peach or wild cherry best?"

"Probably pea- Hey!" Willow exclaimed as a giggling Tara ran off with her in pursuit.

 **Typing By: Abyssal Angel**

 **TN: And there it is! I was wondering when the other shoe was going to drop! I'll be honest, I actually thought for a moment near the middle there that this was going to be a regular high school fic, but that doesn't really fit Dogbertcarroll's style, ne?**

 **AN: I absolutely loathe normal high school versions of shows… even the ones which are about normal high schools, give me something interesting to read other than just the typical teen drama!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Well... I'm now part of the track team," Xander said as he put his books in his locker.

"But you hate exercise," Willow pointed out.

"I wouldn't say I hate it," Xander hedged.

"You claimed aerobics was simply a publicly accepted form of masochism and that the spandex was as close as they could get to full body latex without being obvious," Willow reminded him.

"And then you and Tara started doing that whole yoga thing and got me involved," Xander reminded her, "and I gained a whole new appreciation for spandex," he teased.

Tara blushed bright red, thinking he was referring to her... his girlfriend.

"I am so glad this day is over," Xander said. "I could sleep for a week."

"Or a weekend," Willow said, "because Monday we have to come back and I don't think I can write a medical excuse for you hibernating."

Xander pouted, making them laugh.

"What do we have planned for the weekend?" Willow asked.

"Don't you usually make all the plans?" Tara asked.

Willow chewed on her bottom lip as she thought about it. "Kinda," she admitted, "but that's mostly just the details, Xander comes up with a lot of ideas and I just narrow them down and make them into something solid."

"A completely spontaneous weekend," Xander said, "Lord, help us!"

Willow grinned. "What are your plans?" she asked Tara.

"My Mom's going to do inventory this weekend so I'll probably be stuck helping all weekend, it's a big job," Tara explained apologetically.

"There's an idea," Xander said. "We could give you a hand with inventory, leaving you free for the weekend."

"You don't have to," Tara said shyly.

Xander looked to Willow who nodded at his unasked question. "It's not that we have to, we want to. It's always nice spending time with you."

Tara smiled.

"And it will allow us to drag you off and do something later," Xander said. "Like go to LA."

"What's in LA?" Willow asked.

Xander shrugged. "Disneyland?"

Tara made a happy little squeak, before controller herself.

"We have a winner!" Xander said, turning to Willow.

"Disneyland it is," Willow said. "I will make plans."

"Really?" Tara asked.

"Really," Xander said. "We can inventory the store on Saturday and do Disneyland on Sunday."

"Or get a weekend pass and grab a motel room to make the most of Saturday and Sunday," Willow said. "I'll check online to see what's available."

"I'll have to make sure it's OK with my mom," Tara said, "but it does sound like fun."

"And that's our weekend set," Xander said as they closed the lockers.

The three walked to the Rosenberg's as Tara's house was just a block past theirs.

"What time should I come over?" Tara asked when they reached the front door.

"About the same time we go to school," Willow decided.

Tara nodded and took a deep breath before nervously grabbing Xander's hand and getting his attention. "I'll see you later... Honey," she said, giving him a peck on the cheek before quickly hurrying off.

Xander stood frozen in place, not even breathing. He quickly ran through all his memories of his new life and discovered that Willow wasn't dating Tara and in fact, neither of them appeared to be gay!

Willow looked at Xander and saw how overwhelmed he was by a simple peck from Tara. 'Wow, he is really in love with her,' she thought to herself.

"I'm dating Tara," Xander realized, taking a slow deep breath as he recovered, 'and... I was a bit of a dick in the past, not a lot but at least a little.' He'd been jealous of all the time Tara had spent with Willow, feeling pushed aside from his best friend.

'But I can't break her/his heart,' the two thought as they turned to each other. 'This is going to be complicated.'

"What would you like for dinner?" Xander asked.

"Pizza," Willow replied, wondering how she was going to explain to her girlfriend that her brother was completely in love with her.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

 ***Beep*Beep*Beep*Beep***

Willow shut off her alarm and got up, a bit surprised that Xander hadn't burst in to hug her as he had yesterday, figuring he must have forgotten to set his alarm again. Walking next door to Xander's room, she opened the door and was unsurprised to find he was blissfully unconscious. Well, she knew the cure for that!

"Time to get up," Willow told him before opening his curtains and flooding the room with sunlight. She grabbed his blankets and whipped them off like a magician doing a trick. "Wakey wakey!"

Xander awoke the instant the sunlight touched his body, flooding him with warmth. He stretched and looked around, surprised at how sensitive his senses seemed to be.

Willow stared at Xander. When did her brother get muscles? She was almost positive he hadn't had those yesterday or had she really been paying that little attention to him lately; caught up in her relationship with Tara?

"I'm up," Xander said cheerfully.

"Innuendo," Willow said.

Xander stopped stretching and looked at her quizzically.

Willow pointed at the tent in his boxers. "I didn't have a comment ready but it was too good to pass up."

Xander laughed. "Works for me, now if you'll excuse me I need to shower." He got up.

"Only one problem with that," Willow said.

"What?"

"I've got first shower," Willow said, and turned and ran for the bathroom. "Looks like you could use a cold shower anyway!" she yelled.

Xander ran after her, finding he had to really hold back this morning to let her win. "Curses, foiled again!" he said loudly just outside the bathroom door, making Willow laugh.

In their parent's bathroom he paused and examined himself in the mirror. He knew for a fact he hadn't had those muscles yesterday! It reminded him of a scene from the new Spiderman movie.

"I don't recall being bitten by any radioactive spiders," he muttered, examining himself closely and finding no bug bites he could find.

Closing his eyes, he tried to figure out if he had a spider-sense and was surprised to find he could actually sense his surroundings, getting a feel for everything around him. Not exactly what he expected, but definitely a form of sixth sense.

"I could be imagining all this," he said, walking to the wall and placing his palm on it at head height. He concentrated on it sticking before slowly pulling himself upwards.

A moment later he lowered himself to the floor. "OK, Willow gave me all my Christmas and Birthday presents at once forever, or the whole thing was altered a bit by my being there."

He started the shower and let it warm up while he thought about it. "I'll probably never know. I think I'll just chalk it up to Willow being generous."

He finished his shower and got ready for the day, choosing to wear an old well worn pair of pants and faded red T-shirt since he expected to be moving dusty old boxes and such.

He was making pancakes when the doorbell rang and he went to answer it.

"Tara!" Xander exclaimed, still not over the joy he felt on seeing her alive and well. He swept her up in a hug and she made a cute little squeak of surprise.

"Is that Tara?" Willow called out from the kitchen, having come down while he was answering the door.

"It is!" Xander called back, sweeping her up in his arms and carrying her inside.

"Morning," Tara said with a little wave to Willow.

"Morning," Willow replied, amused. "You're going to have to set her down if you want to finish cooking," she pointed out.

"Good point," Xander said, walking over to Willow and handing Tara to her. "Hold her for me?"

"Sure," Willow said with a laugh, finding Tara to be a bit lighter than she'd thought she'd be.

"I'm serious now," Xander joked, "don't let her get away!"

"I won't," Willow promised, giving Tara a squeeze as Xander turned back to the stove and started pouring out batter.

"Good, because I'd hate to have to set out Tara traps," he said, "I mean, what would we even use for bait?"

Tara grinned and leaned into Willow's embrace as Willow sat down at the table. "Those pancakes smell pretty good," she offered.

"Seduce her with cooking, of course!" Xander exclaimed. "Why didn't I think of that before?"

The three shared a laugh and Tara reluctantly climbed off of Willow as Xander set out plates for them both.

"Great breakfast," Willow complimented him after they'd eaten.

"Yes it was very good, thanks," Tara added.

"I'm just fattening you guys up to eat you," Xander told them as he gathered up the dishes to clean up.

Tara blushed heavily and Willow bit her tongue to keep from laughing at Xander and his penchant for unintentional innuendo this morning. The two got into a tickle fight while Xander finished.

"Uncle!" Willow called out as Xander jumped in on Tara's side. "No fair!"

"All's fair in love and war," Xander said. "Got everything ready for the weekend?"

"Including hotel reservations," Willow agreed.

"I still have to get permission from my mom," Tara said. "Helping with the inventory should butter her up enough to get a yes."

"Excellent," Xander said, rubbing his hands together.

"The faster we get it done, the more fun we can have," Willow said. "Let's go!"

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"This is the place," Tara said, leading them into the Magic Box.

"Good morning," an older woman who bore a definite resemblance to Tara said as they entered the store. "Are you the two my beloved daughter tricked into back breaking labor?"

"Tricked?" Xander asked, trying to look shocked. "You mean there isn't going to be any candy?"

The woman laughed. "You, I like. Linda."

"Xander," he introduced himself, offering a hand. "And this is my twin, Willow."

"It's nice to meet you both," Linda said. "My daughter has spoken about you both in glowing terms."

"Mother," Tara moaned in the long suffering voice of teenagers everywhere, though Xander could tell she was doing it as a joke.

Once the laughter had died down, Linda said, "No, but seriously, she's had nothing but good things to say about you both."

"We could tell you all sorts of good things about Tara if you like," Willow offered with a grin.

"Group hug!" Xander called out, corralling Willow and Tara, Linda playing along and jumping in from the other side.

They stepped back after a three count, Tara blushing brightly.

"Well, that's enough for our first meeting of the mutual admiration society," Xander said. "Where's the heavy stuff you need me to move?"

"In the back," Linda said. "Just go straight on back and I'll be right with you."

"Yes, ma'am," Xander said, curious as to what all was back there, as he was pretty sure the stock was completely different in this life, as this world was a lot brighter.

"Tara, you know what needs to be done up here," Linda said. "I'll be in the back teasing your friend for calling me Ma'am."

"Have fun," Tara said brightly.

"Oh, I intend to," Linda said with an evil grin.

The girls laughed at Xander's misfortune.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Xander felt a chill go down his spine but was unsure if it was his danger sense or just the sound of laughter making him paranoid. He was almost sure that was Willow's evil laugh, but it was faint.

The store room in the back that Giles had converted into a training room in Sunnydale was filled with wooden crates and bookcases filled with books. "Sumerian Summer Celebrations," Xander read aloud as he examined one of the tiles on a nearby shelf.

"You can read Sumerian?" Linda asked, surprised.

"Somewhat," Xander said. "Don't ask me to proofread anything, but I can at least come up with a rough translation."

"That's a rare skill in this day and age," Linda told him. "I need to move all these crates by the door into the back corner," she said. "So first I have to move the crates over there without getting the two piles confused."

"Put a black X on them," Xander suggested. "That should keep them straight."

"A black stripe with a spray can," Linda decided, "or maybe red, since I think some have black streaks from grease or dirt on something. Be right back."

"OK," Xander replied, and waited while she tracked down a can of spray paint and ran a broad red line across the stack of creates, running his eyes across a nearby shelf.

"Give it a minute to dry so you don't get any on yourself," Linda suggested.

"Do you want them stacked in the same order they are now?" Xander asked, pulling a book off the bookcase to glance through while he waited.

"You can read Swahili?" Linda asked curiously.

"I know English and French," Xander replied, "that makes Swahili an easy addition."

"Hadn't thought of that," Linda said, "and no, just stack them however. Most of it is just shiny rocks I sell to new age 'mystics'."

"These books aren't a joke," Xander said, confused.

"No, but real practitioners are rare so most of my money is made off of bored housewives, angsty teens, and the occasional tourist," she explained.

"That makes a lot more sense," he said, Anya's many lectures on running the store coming to mind.

"Our community is quite small, I'm surprised I haven't seen you in here before," Linda said.

"All my stuff is theoretical," Xander replied, "I don't practice; too easy to make big mistakes without someone who knows what they are doing to oversee things."

"That really only applies to major rituals and supplications," Linda disagreed. "There are plenty of beneficial rituals and prayers that are quite forgiving of mistakes."

Xander smiled as he contemplated yet another brighter facet of this world. "If that's true, what books would you suggest for a complete novice?"

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"My brother is completely in love with you," Willow told Tara while they checked the shelved items against the inventory sheet.

"Really?" Tara asked nervously.

"Really," Willow said.

"I... what should I do?" Tara asked.

"Just... Just don't break his heart," Willow begged.

"What?"

"He... I... We are basically orphans and have been for years," Willow said. "Sure we have parents, but they spend less time at home than most people spend on vacation. Xander has always been there for me. Always. When I got my first period, he was the one who comforted me and took me shopping for pads, no matter how much it embarrassed him."

"What are you asking me to do?" Tara asked.

"I don't know, just... please don't hurt him," Willow begged.

"I'll do my best," Tara promised. She hugged the upset redhead. "We'll just have to take things slow and figure it out as we go."

"OK," Willow agreed, wiping her eyes which were a little damp. "Sorry to put you through all this."

"Trust me, you're worth it," Tara assured her.

Willow beamed. "Xander's worth it too," she teased.

The two shared a laugh before returning to what they were doing, quickly going through their entire list of things to do.

"Now what?" Willow asked.

"That's it," Tara said. "When it's just one person it takes forever because you have to go back and forth, comparing things on the list and some of the other things, like moving and dusting displays are just so much easier with two people."

"Having a big strong male around doesn't hurt much either," Linda said as she came out of the back with a dusty looking Xander. "Especially one that is easy on the eyes."

"Mother!" Tara exclaimed, embarrassed.

Xander did a couple of strongman poses, making Willow and Linda laugh.

"But seriously," Xander said, "We were happy to help and we had an ulterior motive."

"Really, what?" Linda asked.

"We'd like to kidnap your daughter for the weekend and drag her to that den of vice and corruption that men call... Disney!" he finished theatrically.

Linda grinned. "I think I can let her go for a few days, but she needs to be back in time for school on Monday."

"We'll probably get in late Sunday night, since the park closes at midnight and it's a couple of hours away, but we can have her shower and change at our place and crash with my sister so she will still make it to school on time," Xander offered. "If you prefer we can return earlier, but honestly how can we not stay till Mickey and Goofy kick us out personally?"

Linda laughed. "That sounds fine, just remember to call and leave a number I can contact you at in case of an emergency."

"Will do," Xander promised.

Willow hugged Tara and spun her around before remembering herself and letting her go. Tara shyly gave Xander a hug, trying and failing to keep from blushing.

"I'll go pack a bag and meet you guys at your place," Tara said.

"See you shortly," Willow promised.

Once the door had closed behind them, Linda said, "So, twins?"

"Mother!" Tara squeaked, turning completely red.

 **Typing by: Abyssal Angel**


	3. Chapter 3

"Are we taking the bus?" Tara asked, as she met Xander and Willow who were waiting for her in their driveway.

"No, my brother's just a drama queen," Willow replied with an amused grin.

"Lo, I am wounded!" Xander said dramatically, stumbling back with his hands over his heart. "But seriously," he said straightening up and taking a set of keys from his pocket, "check this out."

At the push of a button the garage door slowly rolled up revealing...

"A police car?" Tara asked.

"An ex-police car," Xander corrected. "It's a 1991 Crown Victoria in perfect condition."

"Why do you have an ex-police car?" Tara asked as they entered the garage.

"Because my brother is a big dork and he won it at an auction," Willow teased, sticking her tongue out at him.

Xander grinned as he unlocked the car and popped the trunk for their overnight bags. "Police never pull me over and other drivers get out of my way, I never get cut off and no one tailgates me."

"It's still got the barrier between the front and back seat," Tara noted.

"No handles in the back either," Willow pointed out.

"Makes it safe to pick up hitchhikers," Xander joked. "Anyway, we ride in the front so it's not important."

"Aren't you supposed to take all that stuff off when you buy it?" Tara asked, sliding into the middle so Willow could get in.

"Legally I'm required to remove or cover up the police markings and take off the light bar on top," Xander explained as he started it up and the massive V-8 engine rumbled loudly in the small garage. "Of course, there are no laws stating you can't add your own afterwards if they are obviously fake."

"To be fair, no police car has red and green lights up top or an official looking seal for Asgard," Willow explained.

"A bit of a gas guzzler but it has an interior steel cage and armor plating, so you can't find a safer car," Xander said proudly.

"What about a driver's license?" Tara asked curiously.

"Alex Parker," Xander introduced himself, "legally, sorta, I'm my own uncle."

"Xander's records from when we were kids are a mess," Willow explained, "they actually have him as a couple years older in some of them, so... we took advantage of it."

"My Uncle Alex is such a slacker," Xander said with a sigh, "he never graduated high school, dropping out and getting a GED last year and doing the occasional college course by mail."

"So, you have a real fake ID?" Tara asked, confused.

"So, I have a real ID for my fake self," Xander said as they passed the Welcome to Sunnyvale sign.

"Technically it's all legal," Willow said, "but only technically."

"Meaning they can only make it illegal after they realize we've done it so we can't be prosecuted," Xander explained. "Plus, it's only a two-year difference."

"So as long as we stay out of trouble for a couple of years, no one will notice," Willow said.

"I don't know, two hardened criminals and troublemakers like yourselves?" Tara joked. "I just can't see it."

Xander turned on the radio and Bad to the Bone started playing. The three exchanged glances before bursting out laughing and started singing along.

 **An hour later**

"We should stop for sodas," Willow suggested.

"Good idea, all this singing is making me thirsty," Xander said, spotting an off ramp and a sign for some place called Susie's.

"I don't think Susie's is the place to get drinks," Tara said as they entered the small town.

"Why not?" Xander asked.

"I think it's a strip club," Willow said, noting the lack of windows and reading the advertisements posted around.

"That's no reason to assume they wouldn't have drinks," Xander joked, turning into the lane to enter the place.

"A male strip club, as it says every night is lady's night," Willow added.

Xander quickly switched lanes to the one leading to the truck stop. "But then again I hear they water down the drinks something fierce."

The girls laughed as they pulled into the parking lot of the truck stop.

"Pee while you have the chance, LA traffic is murder," Xander suggested.

"Good idea," Willow said.

They climbed out of the car, drawing a bit of attention as people checked to see if they were police officers, and entered the store, Xander heading directly for the candy aisle while the girls headed for the bathrooms. It was a pretty big store for a gas station mini-mart, carrying a number of touristy items including a selection of Turkish throw rugs, which attracted Xander's attention.

Willow and Tara exited the bathrooms a few minutes later and bought some bottled water and fountain drinks before joining Xander who was already waiting in the car.

"Is that a rug?" Willow asked, seeing the roll of carpet in the back seat.

"It is indeed," Xander agreed as he started the car.

After a few seconds of silence, Tara had to ask, "You're not going to ask anything more?"

"Nope," Willow said. "It's either going to be an interesting project or a horrible pun and I don't know which it is yet, so I'll wait."

"You'd buy a roll of carpet just to make a joke?" Tara asked Xander.

"I'd go a lot farther than that," Xander assured her cheerfully, "we both would."

"So, this is a project," Willow said.

"I was also going to make a joke about dancing, but I really just liked the pattern," Xander replied.

"Cut a rug?" Tara guessed.

"Yep," Xander agreed, beaming at Tara who smiled back. "It's for the living room floor in front of the fireplace."

"Uncle Alex has one at his place," Willow assured her. "It's where we keep the car so our parents don't find out."

"You guys are living some sort of double life!" Tara exclaimed.

Xander and Willow looked at each other, sharing an entire conversation at a glance.

"No, we created a fake uncle to take the place of our missing parents so we had someone to sign permission forms for school trips and projects," Willow explained.

"And I expanded on that a bit using it to buy and sell stuff at auctions," Xander explained. "I got really lucky a time or two, placing blind bids on things no one else ended up bidding on."

"Like a house and car," Tara guessed.

"A mansion, a car, and a yacht," Xander said cheerfully.

"I liked the yacht," Willow said, pouting.

"I sold the yacht to make enough money to cover insurance and taxes on the car and mansion," Xander explained.

"Plus a real scary guy wanted the yacht," Willow added. "Which is why no one else was bidding on anything."

"He was so amused that I'd won the yacht for so little that he made a halfway decent offer for it," Xander explained. "He paid me under the table, I let him accept the yacht in my place, and everyone was happy."

"I bet there was gold and jewels hidden on that yacht," Willow grumbled playfully.

"Except Willow," Xander added with a grin, making Tara laugh as Willow let out an exaggerated huff.

"I guess it's silly to worry about you guys having secret second lives as spies or superheroes," Tara said.

"If we have any secrets, they're secret from us," Willow said. "Except for normal secret stuff, like where I keep my dairy or why Xander buys so much lotion."

"Or why you kept stealing all the double A batteries from my Gameboy last summer," Xander said, making Willow suddenly lose interest in teasing him.

"Look radio!" Willow exclaimed, flipping it on and searching for something to sing along with.

Tara grinned, vastly amused by the twin's antics.

 **Until Finally...**

"Disneyland!" the three teens cheered as they took the off ramp to the magical kingdom.

"I wanna go on everything, twice!" Willow exclaimed.

"Even 'It's a Small World?" Xander asked.

"Three times!" Willow swore.

"I'll pay you twenty bucks to go on it six times in a row," Xander challenged.

"It's so on!" Willow swore.

"I'm in love with a crazy person!" Tara groaned before realizing she'd said it aloud.

Willow and Xander blushed, both finding somewhere outside the car to look for a moment.

"Mr. Toad's Wild Ride," Tara said to break the awkward silence.

"What?" they chorused.

"I wanna ride Mr. Toad's Wild Ride several times and the tea cups!" Tara declared firmly.

Xander and Willow grinned at each other.

"We will assimilate her!" Xander declared.

"Indeed she shall become Tara Rosenberg and join us in our crazy adventures!" Willow said.

"I thought you guys didn't have crazy adventures," Tara said.

"No, we said we didn't have a second hidden life, we definitely have crazy adventures," Willow said.

"Well... as crazy as you can be while still preparing for nearly any contingency," Xander added, as he parked in the lot farthest from the park.

"Like what?" Tara asked.

"Scuba diving, spelunking, camping, gold panning," Willow listed off.

"Hot air balloon rides and horseback riding," Xander added.

"We joined the Girl Scouts together," Willow added.

"After we got kicked out of the Boy Scouts together," Xander said proudly.

"We tried to copy all the achievements of the most famous Eagle Scout ever," Willow explained.

"We weren't even using any radioactive material," Xander said. "It was all proof of concept."

"How did you join both?" Tara asked.

"Will and Alex are pretty gender-neutral names," Xander replied with a smirk.

"And it's not like they check," Willow added.

"I'm probably going to have to drop out of the Girl Scouts," Xander said, pouting.

"Maybe," Willow said. "While they probably have figured out we aren't identical twins as we first claimed, they really don't seem to mind you being there."

"Fine, but you get to help me wax next time," Xander said.

"Fine," Willow agreed.

"I can't tell if you two are joking or not," Tara said.

"The Scouts are great organizations," Willow said, "they teach you lots of stuff and give you structure."

"Lots of trips and adult supervision," Xander said.

"Oh," Tara said, realizing that with their parents absent, the two probably felt the need to have some authority figures around at times.

"Sunblock," Xander said, pulling the latch to open the trunk.

"I so envy you," Willow told Xander, "you never burn, even when you really should."

"Black hair, sun resistant!" Xander told her as the pair got out of the car and went around to the trunk.

Tara followed them and was surprised at all the neatly labeled boxes of stuff filling the trunk. "Zombie apocalypse kit?" she read aloud.

"That's mostly filled with three by five cards on what to do depending on the type of Zombie Apocalypse," Willow explained as Xander covered all her exposed skin with sunscreen.

"Some emergencies require you to go and get supplies, it's just not practical to carry everything with you," Xander admitted. "The cards also contain a lot of very specific information."

"Do you have one for a Disneyland vacation?" Tara asked, before, much to her surprise, Xander started putting sunscreen on her.

"The closest thing we have is plans to take over Disneyland in case of alien invasion," Willow replied. "We like to be spontaneous with vacations."

"Why take over Disneyland?" Tara asked to distract herself from how nice Xander's hands felt.

"Because if aliens invade, the underground tunnels and complex web of cameras would make holding them off and sabotaging local forces a snap," Willow explained.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"That is a very good point," one of the security officers told another, as they observed the three on a parking cam.

"Our orders are to evacuate the park and bug out if aliens invade, so they'd actually have a free hand to operate if they came here during an invasion," his partner noted.

"I wonder if they know that."

"If they know enough about the park's plans to come up with that scenario then they probably do," the second guard replied. "Our operational security does not extend during national emergencies with the exception of nuclear war."

"What?"

"Huge fallout shelters under the park," he explained. "You really should read the emergency post orders."

"I have, just not for crazy stuff."

"Have you at least read the one for super villain attacks?"

"Of course," he said, "that could actually happen, though not many villains want the kinda bad press you get for doing that."

"I think it's more the fear of Disney lawyers myself," the other disagreed.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Tara shyly helped Willow cover Xander in lotion.

"Now let's spontaneously hit each and every ride with a line that's shorter than ten minutes!" Willow exclaimed as they finished up.

"Disney Ho!" Xander called out.

"We aren't ho's for Disney we simply appreciate it," Willow said, faking an offended look.

"What?" Xander asked, before getting the joke and groaning.

Tara shot Willow a small smile that said otherwise, but had done it so quick Willow wasn't sure if she'd actually seen it or not.

"Remember where we parked," Xander said, grabbing their hands and pulling them into a run towards a shuttle bus. "Wait for us!"

 **Typing By: Abyssal Angel**

 **TN: *sees the police car* Please please please please please let this be a Blue's Brother's reference!**

 **AN: Yep, but I couldn't find an excuse to have them put on sunglasses and do the line without being cheesy.**


	4. Chapter 4

"You guys aren't going to search for all the hidden Mickeys?" Tara asked.

"We already know," Xander replied.

"Plus, they are really kinda subjective on what constitutes a Mickey," Willow added, "sometimes it's a painting, sometimes it's the way bushes are trimmed."

"They should make them little golden statues," Xander said, "that way there is no doubt when you have found one, plus you could move them day to day."

"Maybe have them set up with a scanner of some type and give little kids wands with chips in them that they wave over Mickey and he says something to them, with stuffed animals or other prizes as rewards for the number found," Willow said, fleshing out the idea.

"Little coins," Xander said. "The coins are souvenirs all on their own with the Mickey found and the date, but you can turn them in for prizes like stuffed animals."

"You two like to redesign everything you see," Tara noted, amused.

"Give us half a chance and we would redesign the world," Willow agreed.

"We would rule with a malleable fist!" Xander said melodramatically.

"Isn't it 'an iron fist'?" Tara asked.

"Rusts too easy," Willow said.

"And not really flexible enough to do everything you need it to do," Xander added.

"I'm not sure whether to encourage or dissuade you from taking over the world," Tara teased, "because you certainly sound more sensible than the current crop of politicians."

"No one ever likes the current politicians," Xander said. "It's only when you get the amazingly incompetent ones that you look back and think 'Nixon? He did a lot of really good things with only a couple of screw ups.'"

"Help us take over a small country and see how we do as rulers before making any final decisions," Willow suggested.

"And what small country are you thinking of taking over?" Tara asked.

"Depends," Willow said.

"We have a big chart with targets of opportunity," Xander said. "There are a lot of factors to take into account."

Tara laughed while Xander and Willow exchanged matching grins.

"Fine, I promise to help you take over a small to moderate sized country if you will help me find all the Mickeys," Tara said.

"Deal!" the twins chorused.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"I wonder if that's how most super villains start," the guard watching the monitors commented. "I mean, some of them have got to have said 'I'd be better than these idiots' multiple times while growing up."

"I would not be surprised," his partner agreed.

"Well, I for one welcome our new teenage overlords," the first guard joked, "they can't do a worse job than the pack of idiots we have right now."

The guards shared a laugh.

"Do we have a plan for what to do if a super villain shows up but doesn't cause trouble?" the first guard asked curiously.

"Sure, we treat them like VIPs and the staff subtly insures they have a good time and leave happy," the other guard explained.

"A plan like that should be tested and practiced on people with cooler heads to work out the kinks," the first guard hinted.

"Well... it would be a good test..."

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"That was awesome!" Willow said as they left Disneyland.

"I know they call it the happiest place on earth, but they are not kidding," Xander said. "The advertisements do not do this place justice."

"This has been the best day ever!" Tara said with a wide smile.

"And we get to do it again tomorrow," Willow said.

"Now on to the hotel, a nice hot shower, and some sleep," Xander said.

"That sounds wonderful," Tara agreed.

"I got us a hotel with a hot tub," Willow said.

"You are my favorite sister in the world!" Xander said, sweeping Willow up in his arms and squeezing her.

"Hop aboard," Willow invited Tara.

"Can you carry both of us?" Tara asked, getting into the spirit of things but not wanting to strain Xander.

Xander leaned down so she could climb on top of Willow who he was carrying bridal style. "It'll be good practice for track."

Tara carefully positioned herself so she wasn't crushing Willow, who wrapped an arm around her.

"You two are pretty light," Xander said, "I'll have to feed you both more."

"No talk of food, I am stuffed," Willow said.

"Me too," Tara said, "but they didn't lie, 'the brown stuff' was delicious."

"For graduation I saw we go to Disney World," Xander suggested.

"Seconded," Willow agreed.

"Motion passed," Tara added, making Willow grin and kiss her on the cheek.

The pair waited to see how Xander would respond but he didn't seem to notice or care, humming Bear Necessities as he walked with a bounce in his step like they weighed nothing.

"Where did we park?" Tara asked.

"The farthest lot," Willow reminded her, "makes it easy to find your car and has the least amount of traffic."

"Can you really carry us that far?" Tara asked.

"I think so," Xander replied, not feeling tired.

"Bet you can't," Willow said with a grin.

"You're on," Xander said confidently.

"Tara," Willow said.

"Yes?"

"Tickle him in three," Willow said with an evil grin.

"What?" Xander said.

"Two."

"That's unfair!" he exclaimed seeing her plan.

"One."

"Hey!"

"Attack!" Willow ordered as the two started wriggling around and attacking him making him stumble and almost drop them before being forced to set them down and defend himself.

"Retreat!" Willow called out, turning and sprinting for a nearby people mover, a train of carts decorated in a jumanji theme.

"What?" Tara said, caught flat footed by Willow's actions.

Xander swept Tara up in his arms once more and chased after Willow. "The game's afoot!"

"Drive!" Willow ordered as she leapt aboard the people mover.

"I can only go seven miles an hour at max speed," the driver replied, amused.

"Curses, my evil plan has been spoiled by that cruel mistress, reality!" Willow groaned.

Xander easily caught up and placed Tara aboard the slowly moving vehicle before climbing aboard himself. "Good for a spur of the moment plan and you did win the bet," he complimented her.

"Because she prevented you from carrying us both to the car, even if you were physically capable," Tara realized.

"Yep, I won the bet," Willow agreed.

"So, what did you win?" Tara asked.

"Anything," Willow replied. "We try and keep it reasonable, but it's anything."

"We'd only abuse it if it was funny or really important," Xander agreed.

"So, I get half of anything since I helped?" Tara joked.

"Half of infinity is still infinity," Willow said with a grin.

"Curse your traitorous but accurate logic which I shall find a way to use against you at some point," Xander said.

"That's a yes," Willow told Tara.

"It's also an 'I'm going to plot how to get you an anything from Willow' just to keep things fair," Xander added.

"Wouldn't it only be fair if you also got an anything from me?" Tara asked.

Willow and Xander exchanged glances, something seeming to pass between them and make them smile.

"I think our first anything would be 'no leaving us to chase after social status," Willow said.

"Even if great breasts are attached to said status," Xander added.

"Who?" Tara asked, realizing they were thinking of someone in particular.

"We had a third person at one point, but sadly Jessie fell to the dark side and now plays the high school status game and dates Cordelia," Willow explained.

"And while she may be evil, she has a set of breasts that Wesley would agree was a shame to damage," Xander said, knowing they'd only get half the joke.

"Buffy or Cordelia 2.0 is also included in that anything," Willow said.

"Sounds fair," Tara agreed, feeling like she'd just passed a test.

"And here we are," Xander said as they reached the car and hopped off the train.

"On to the hotel and relaxation," Willow said.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"This is the hotel?" Xander asked as he stared at the hotel which was badly in need of some paint and possibly a fumigation.

"The area's not the best," Willow admitted, "but the price was decent and most of the local hotels are packed for some invitation only convention."

"You didn't find out what it was?" Xander asked.

"Nah, because it would probably be something that would distract us from enjoying our weekend," she explained.

"Works for me," Xander said as they pulled into Willy's No Tell Motel. "I'll get the keys."

After Xander had left, Tara asked Willow, "How are we handling sleeping accommodations?"

"I got us two rooms," Willow explained, "a single for Xander and a double for us."

"So, he won't..." Tara trailed off.

"Xander isn't that type of guy," Willow assured her. "He isn't going to pressure you into sharing a room with him."

"I know," Tara said, "but I still like the reassurance."

"I know," Willow replied back, making sure they were still alone before leaning forward to give Tara a quick kiss.

They listened to the sounds of a siren and arguing in the distance.

"Next time I'm spontaneously making reservations a week in advance," Willow decided.

"Good idea," Tara agreed.

Xander returned and passed a pair of keys to Willow before starting the car and driving to a spot on the far end away from the office.

"I thought I requested a pair of rooms near the front," Willow said.

"You did, but I convinced the clerk to give us the rooms they reserve for city inspectors, the ones that don't have cameras hidden in them," Xander explained.

"Cameras?" Tara asked, wide eyed.

"It's a sleazy hotel, things like that happen," Xander said.

"RF detectors?" Willow asked.

"Spare one in the glove box," Xander replied.

Willow popped the glove box open and pulled out a small transistor radio. At Tara's look she explained, "Radio frequency detectors are really easy to make but it's even easier to modify a radio into one and no one looks twice at it."

"Yes, but what's an RF detector?" Tara asked.

"It detects electronic bugs," Xander simplified.

"Doesn't help with anything hard wired, but anything that transmits a signal it'll spot," Willow added.

"So... which of us gets to have Wills as a roommate?" Xander asked. "You are our guest, so I thought I'd let you choose."

"We have girl talk scheduled, you're just going to have to suffer without my presence," Willow said, passing Xander a key as he stuck out his lower lip and pouted, making her laugh.

"At least no one will hog all the covers," Xander said, before retrieving his backpack and a matching radio from the trunk.

"I do not hog all the covers," Willow denied.

"Of course not, you also don't snore," he teased, ducking into his room before she could reply.

It was a nice room, if one wanted to stay in a 60's shag pad. It had a wet bar, hot tub, large bed, nineteen-inch television, and used indirect lighting to light the room, which was good since the lava lamps scattered about really didn't provide much light. There was a connecting door to the next room the girls were staying in that he unlocked, so they could get him if they needed him without going outside.

"I'll be glad when the internet picks up a bit and they get a proper review site running," Xander said, scanning the room for bugs and cameras before grabbing a shower. While the hot tub would be nice for unwinding in, it wouldn't make him feel as clean as a hot shower would.

After a long hot shower, as hot as it would go, covering everything in a cloud of steam, he stepped out and dried off. He used a second towel on his hair as he entered the room, motel towels never being quite absorbent enough to dry your hair in one go. Finally clean and dry, he brushed his hair back and found Willow and a red faced Tara sitting on his bed, right next to his clean boxers.

He immediately turned and re-entered the bathroom, sticking a hand out for his boxers, which someone handed him a second later.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Tara and Willow started kissing as soon as the door closed behind them, coming up for air a minute later.

"Shower first?" Tara suggested.

"Yeah, we are both pretty sweaty," Willow agreed.

It was probably the quickest showers they'd ever taken in their lives, both of them excited to have some time alone together with no worries about anyone else interrupting them.

Willow had barely finished checking the room for hidden surveillance equipment before Tara had stepped out of the shower dressed only in a long shirt waving her in to take her turn.

Tara had turned down the covers on one bed and put her hair back in a ponytail while waiting for Willow. This was one time they needn't worry about rushing.

Willow came out of the bathroom in a long flannel shirt and nothing else, a fake stretch revealing how little she had on with a teasing grin.

Tara laid back on the bed and patted the mattress beside her.

 ***BANG*BANG***

Unintelligible cussing and screaming followed by the sound of glass shattering came from outside.

The mood wasn't just broken, it was shattered, covered in gasoline, and set on fire.

The sound of police sirens could be heard rapidly approaching as the sounds of squealing tired faded in the distance.

"And suddenly I feel like hogging Xander's blankets and snoring in his ear," Willow said nervously.

Tara nodded rapidly. "Me too!"

"Please tell me he unlocked the connecting door," Willow said, pausing to close the deadbolt on their door before checking and sighing in relief on finding it open, the pair quickly entering Xander's room.

"He's still in the shower?" Tara asked as they sat on the bed and heard him mangling a song about Kryptonite with steam leaking under the door to the bathroom.

"We did kinda rush through ours," Willow pointed out.

"Yeah, but I thought boys took short showers," she explained.

"If no one else is using the hot water, he will drain the water heater," Willow explained. "He's usually too considerate to do so at home, thankfully."

The door opened and a pink skinned Xander stepped out with a towel completely wrapped around his head and face as he rubbed it briskly.

The girls eyes were drawn to the way parts of his anatomy wiggled as he moved and how well defined his muscles were.

He had a carefree and happy smile on his face as he removed the towel, a smile that froze as he noticed the pair of them sitting there, his eyes drifting to the side, which they turned to look at as well and spotted his clean boxers. Xander turned and stepped back into the bathroom, closing the door most of the way and sticking his hand out.

Willow immediately got up and passed him his boxers, almost completely unfazed, though a bit flushed. "He'll be out in a minute, he has to do his hair. It's a mess."

 **Typing by: Abyssal Angel**


	5. Chapter 5

Tara was blushing bright red and didn't think she could be more embarrassed.

Needless to say, she was wrong.

"It's even bigger hard," Willow teased.

Tara's blush couldn't get any redder, but she rallied and was about to tease Willow back when her mind went to the nearest gutter and dove inside, filling her brain with a scene that wouldn't have been out of place in a cheesy porno.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Xander stepped into Willow's bedroom wearing only a pair of speedos and a mustache that was large enough to hide his mouth. "So, I heard you needed some help with... Sex Ed," he said with a leer.

Willow was dressed as a catholic school girl with a large pair of horn rimmed glasses taking up half her face. "Yes, big brother," she agreed innocently, "and if I don't get an 'A', I'll never get into college which means I won't be able to join the Peace Corp and then what will happen to all those starving orphans in Africa?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head," Xander said, "when I'm done with you, you'll know Sex Ed backwards and forwards." He slunk forward, one hand moving to the waistband of his speedo. "What's the first section of the test?"

"It's oral," Willow replied, turning her chair to face her brother, her nose level with his belly button.

"You're in luck, that's just my speed," Xander said, ripping off his speedo with one hand and his mustache with the other, flinging them to opposite sides of the room.

Willow's eyes widened in shock, her left hand reaching out as she said, "If you don't fix that blood flow problem you're going to pass out."

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"What?" Tara asked.

"If you get much redder you're going to pass out," Willow teased. "What are you thinking?"

"How do you know..." Tara trailed off, unsure how to phrase it.

"We live together, he sometimes sleeps through his alarm, and he's a teenage boy," Willow replied. "It'd be stranger if I didn't know." She bit her lip and looked worried for a moment. "The muscles are new though, as apparently I've been so wrapped up in myself I didn't even notice him changing. I... I've been kinda neglecting him lately. I've been a bad sister."

Tara was quick to comfort her, giving her a hug and assuring her, "As a teenage boy his body goes through a lot of changes, some of them quite sudden, unless you are his physician, there are some changes you won't notice until they're already occurred."

"What'd I miss?" Xander asked, having come out of the bathroom unnoticed while they talked, dressed only in boxers, but with his hair combed as Willow had guessed.

"Willow is worried she's been a bad sister because she didn't notice you'd been developing muscles," Tara explained, her concern for Willow distracting her from being embarrassed.

"If it's any comfort they surprised me too," Xander said, sitting beside Willow and giving her a one-armed hug. "I didn't even notice until I saw them in the bathroom mirror."

"You're just saying that," Willow said.

"No seriously," Xander said, lifting her chin to look her in the eyes. "I had no idea I was developing any sort of muscles until I saw them in our parent's bathroom mirror. Shocked the hell out of me."

"Really?" Willow asked, willing to be convinced.

"Really," Xander assured her. "I'd have made up some story to make you feel really guilty and use it to get you to do all the chores around the house if you'd actually neglected me."

"You are awful," Willow said, but she had a big smile on her face.

"It's a fair punishment," Xander argued. "Plus, as soon as you'd figured out I was exaggerating things you'd have gotten over feeling bad and things would return to normal."

"That would work," Willow said thoughtfully.

"And I'd feel good about things because I'd have made you wait on my hand and foot," Xander said with a grin. "Breakfast in bed, massages, waxing, and pedicures!"

"Waxing and pedicures?" Tara asked as Willow giggled.

"You can't go camping with the girls with hairy legs," Xander replied seriously. "No one stares at my crotch to check my gender, they look at my legs."

The sound of gunfire and a car alarm came from the next block as well as someone screaming something in Spanish, very poor Spanish.

"We are bunking with you," Willow told him, recalling why they were there.

"Understood," Xander said, getting up and locking the doors before using a chair to brace the door to the other room and a wooden wedge for the front door that he had in his backpack.

"I am really glad you are paranoid," Tara said, "though I feel a little guilty using it to my own advantage this way."

Xander and Willow shared an amused grin.

"We aren't paranoid," Xander said, "we don't think anyone is out to get us or anything."

"We simply enjoy pulling all this like they are," Willow explained.

"We like making complicated plans and carrying them out," Xander said.

"You're playing spy?" Tara guessed.

"Something like that," Xander agreed.

"See, I used to really worry about things going wrong while our parents were away," Willow explained, "so we made a game out of it."

"We are massively over prepared for everything," Xander said proudly, "and we have fun doing it."

"Not to mention all the things we get to learn to get there," Willow added.

Xander yawned. "Excuse me."

"And all that is a tale for another time," Willow said.

"Tara in the middle would be the most fun," Xander joked as he turned off the lights, leaving the room dimly lit by the many red and purple lava lamps, "But... I much prefer to take things slow, so Wills?"

"I'll sleep in the middle," Willow agreed, getting up and pulling the covers down, a blushing Tara moving out of the way.

The three climbed into bed, finding it a little crowded, making them all unsure where to put their hands, but after a couple minutes of shifting about they settled down, said their goodnights, and drifted off pretending the sounds from outside was a TV on in another room.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Willow woke up to a half-awake Tara kissing her neck and rubbing against her. She found Tara's sleep cuddling cute, but had completely forgotten she might do it while they were in bed with her brother. She reached back and stroked Tara's cheek. "Baby, what are you doing?" she whispered, not wanting to wake Xander up.

"New toy to use on you," Tara mumbled, rubbing something against Willow's thigh.

"New toy?" Willow thought, letting her hand run along Tara's arm until she found her hand and found the 'toy'.

"You are fondling my brother," Willow whispered to Tara, trying to gently loosen her grip on Xander without waking him, as Tara improved her aim while nudging Willow forward.

"I'm what?" Tara asked, slowly waking up to what she was doing.

"Put it back where you found it," Willow softly whispered, "without waking him."

Tara found sleep completely purged from her system as she tucked Xander back in his boxers, very worried that she'd just done something completely unforgivable.

"Bathroom," Willow whispered.

Tara nodded and slid out of bed, Willow following her into the bathroom. Her heart sank as Willow turned on the shower, no doubt planning on using the sounds of the water to muffle the angry words she was going to say.

Willow locked the door before turning back to Tara and slowly advancing on her, backing her into the toilet as she unbuttoned her flannel shirt.

Tara's mood did a complete one eighty as she saw the look on Willow- Her Willow's face.

"Thanks to you I am now sticky and wet," Willow teased, tossing aside her shirt and placing a foot on the top of the toilet tank so she was practically on top of her. "Now what are you going to do about it?"

"A good girl always cleans up her messes," Tara said, doing her best to sound innocent and clueless as she leaned forward at the urging of the hand Willow placed on the back of her head.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Xander woke up to the sound of a running shower and the feel of an empty bed. It felt... a little disappointing for some reason.

Getting out of bed he saw the large wet spot on the front of his boxers. "Great, not only did I have a wet dream, but I still have morning wood. Glad they didn't see it; talk about embarrassing."

Seeing the chair was still blocking the door to the girl's room, he decided to steal their shower since they had taken his.

He was pleased to discover his sister's vanilla scented body wash and a nice herbal shampoo that he liked the smell of in their bathroom. While he wouldn't buy them for himself, he loved to steal them from his sister on the rare occasions when he got up before her and hogged the bathroom.

By the time he'd finished his shower, the mirror was completely fogged over. He borrowed a pink razor and some shaving gel to get rid of the traces of what would one day be a mighty beard! But currently was three or four struggling hairs trying to sprout on his chin and upper lip. The scraggly hairs laughed at the pink razor and he was forced to pluck them with his fingers. "Ha! I am victorious!" he announced grandly before stepping into the room and finding Willow and Tara sitting on one of the beds.

He smiled, nodded, and stepped right back into the bathroom, sticking a hand out a moment later.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"I was really worried you'd be mad at me," Tara told Willow as they dried off after their shower.

"Because?" Willow asked.

"For that thing this morning when I almost impaled you on your brother," Tara reminded her.

"Oh, that," Willow said, unconcerned.

"Yes, that," Tara said, "and instead you just got really amorous."

"Sweetie, I'd never get mad at you for something you did while half awake," Willow assured her, "that'd be completely unfair, and you always make me amorous."

"And making me lick the sticky spot on your thigh?" Tara teased.

"Trust me love, that's not where I was aiming your tongue," Willow teased right back.

Tara grinned and put on her long shirt while Willow buttoned up her flannel.

"Let's go wake Xander," Willow said, "I want a big breakfast!"

Opening the bathroom door, they found an empty room and the door to their room open.

"Heh," Willow laughed, "I beat him to the shower again and made him use a different one."

"I thought you only got up early when I was over, so he wouldn't get suspicious of us being in the shower together," Tara said.

Willow shook her head. "We race for the shower every morning and I'm just fast enough to win most of the time."

They entered their room and could hear Xander singing something, but it was hard to understand.

"I am going to bug his shower one of these days, so I can find out what he's singing," Willow said as she grabbed her bag and got out fresh clothes.

The two got dressed, Tara glancing at the door to the bathroom nervously once or twice.

"Relax, as long as he's singing and the water running, he won't be coming out," Willow said. "Give that boy hot enough water and no rush and he loses all track of time."

"This has been the best weekend ever," Tara said happily as she finished dressing and the shower shut off.

They were sitting on the bed when they heard Xander crow, "I am victorious!" and step out of the bathroom... naked.

Seeing the two of them he immediately turned and re-entered the bathroom, sticking out a hand a moment later.

Lacking any spare boxers for him this time, Willow pulled a pair of T-backed panties out of her backpack and handed them to him with an evil grin.

Xander stepped out of the bathroom a few seconds later looking more indecent than he would have had he been naked as the panties bulged obscenely in the front. "Morning, honey," Xander said, giving a red faced Tara a quick peck on the cheek. He walked past to his room, ignoring the giggles behind him.

"I hate to see him go," Willow joked, saying the first half of the joke.

"But I love to watch him leave," Tara finished, both of them bursting out laughing.

"But seriously, I think he looks better in those than I do," Willow said.

"Hey Sis," Xander called out, his naked torso leaning into the room.

Willow turned around. "Yes?" A pair of black panties landed on her face.

"Thanks for the loan," Xander said with a grin before vanishing into his room.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Breakfast at Disneyland or somewhere else?" Willow asked as they pulled out of the motel.

"Someplace else," Xander suggested. "I need to stop by the bank for some cash."

"Overspend?" Tara asked.

Willow shook her head. "Never carry your entire vacation fund on you, because it can be lost or stolen. Just carry enough for each day, plus twenty-five percent, so it can only ruin a single day if things go wrong."

"Makes sense," Tara agreed. "How about some place with Mexican omelets?"

"That does sound good," Willow agreed.

"Bank doesn't open for another hour since we all got up early," Xander said, watching the road and missing the amused glance the girls exchanged. "So, breakfast first... as soon as we spot a place."

"We are going to drive around for half an hour and eventually settle on a Denny's aren't we?" Willow asked.

"That's pretty much the plan," Xander agreed. "It's very low odds that we'll find a Mexican restaurant that's open this early in our blind wanderings, but almost certain we'll find at least two Denny's and they serve a decent American version of a Mexican omelet."

"I like Denny's," Tara offered, "and I'd rather eat sooner than play the odds and wait."

Xander opened his mouth to say something, but snapped his head to the side and changed lanes. "Denny's," he announced.

"It is suspicious how quickly you always find a Denny's," Willow noted. "I mean, whenever we are somewhere new and looking for a place to eat, just moments after we give up searching, you find a Denny's."

"Are you claiming I summon Denny's out of the ether or that they are somehow omnipresent and by searching for one I collapse the wave form and cause them to materialize?" Xander asked.

"At this point I would believe you got three wishes and always finding a Denny's was one of them," Willow replied.

"You guys don't have a detailed plan to deal with getting three wishes?" Tara asked as they parked.

"All our plans involve things that could happen, even if unlikely," Willow said. "You can't plan for everything, just most things."

"Though it does sound like an interesting mental game," Xander said thoughtfully.

"Do you want me to get out the cards?" Willow asked Tara hopefully.

"Cards?" Tara asked curiously.

"So, we can add it to our plans," Xander said seriously.

"I'd like that," Tara said, realizing they were offering to include her in one of their private activities. She smiled as she realized they were both doing their best to include her in everything, even Xander who hadn't been that welcoming until recently, when he'd become really welcoming if a bit shy.

Of course, now that she had somehow ended up dating both of them... She could practically hear her mom laughing in her head, "Twins!"

"Do you ever feel like you either did something really good or bad in a past life and can't tell which it is?" Tara asked.

"All the time," Xander assured her with a grin as he popped the trunk.

 **Typing By: Abyssal Angel**

 **Typists reaction just after Tara's daydream: What the buck did I just type? Lol XD**


	6. Chapter 6

Xander and Tara sat in the booth across from Willow as she needed the space to organize the cards and take notes.

"There are so many factors to take into account," Willow said. "It looks like we'll have to study magic if we want any meaningful results on anything connected to it."

"I've poked through a few books here and there," Xander admitted, "and I have to admit the subject is a lot more complex than I expected. Linda gave me some primers to read and it's at least as complicated as a number of scientific fields."

"You've started another subject without me?" Willow asked, eyes watering.

Xander flinched back. "Just got the books yesterday, put the puppy dog eyes away!"

"Sorry," Willow apologized, "just worried I haven't spent enough time with you lately."

"Thankfully we live together so that's easily corrected," Xander teased, "just be sure to schedule enough Tara time as well."

"I do enjoy me some Tara time," Willow flirted, before realizing what she was doing and glancing at Xander to see if he noticed.

"I applaud your good taste," Xander replied, cutting up his pancakes. "I too find time spent with Tara to be time well spent."

Willow let out a silent sigh, relieved that Xander hadn't noticed what she was doing.

"So... how are you planning to approach learning magic?" Tara asked, changing the subject to one less likely to make her blush.

"Very, very carefully," Xander replied seriously. "Magic may be as complex as a scientific field, but it's not science. It's an art form that alters the artist, from what I understand."

"I've never heard it described like that, but that's very apt," Tara agreed. "I'm a novice myself, but I can help teach you if you like."

"You know magic?" Willow asked curiously.

"My Mom runs a magic shop," Tara reminded her.

"And is the one who gave Xander books on the subject," Willow said with a groan. "I'm going to forget how to add two and two next."

"The flashy new age stuff is probably what confused you," Xander said, "it's camouflage for the real stuff and profitable as well."

"It's for people who don't really believe in magic but want to play like they do," Tara explained. "It's safe and trendy so they enjoy it."

"I think... we are going to have to accept subpar results until we can do a proper study on the subject. For now, we'll have to just skim the surface and assume a neutral being, granting as asked," Willow decided.

"That works," Xander agreed. "All the stories have people wishing for fame, fortune, and power. Comments?"

"Fame is fickle," Willow said, "and I really don't see the use for it, except to feed the ego."

"Fame is out," Xander agreed and turned to Tara.

"Power can be useful," Tara offered, "but without the wisdom to handle it, it can be destructive as well."

"Power has to be qualified by wisdom," Willow wrote down, "though wishing for wisdom itself may not be a bad idea."

"Money is a versatile tool, as long as you aren't an idiot with it, there really isn't a lot of down sides," Xander said.

"Yeah," Willow agreed, "a decent amount of money can make life easier, it's greed that usually trips people up."

"So, fame is out, power is a maybe, and fortune is the only definite one," Willow said.

"The first time I heard fortune, I thought they meant lucky, as in fortunate," Xander said. "Lucky is a wish with no real downsides."

"Are we bound by Disney rules?" Tara asked.

"No multiple wishes, raising the dead, or love?" Willow replied. "I don't think so, unless they know more about magic than we know."

"As far as I know, those aren't magic based rules," Tara offered.

"Raising the dead is usually a bad idea," Xander said. "It's one of those things that attract the attention of beings of power who will have words with you."

"I really need to read those books," Willow said.

"I also poked around the net and did a general survey of what information I could find," Xander lied, "nothing organized or serious."

"How about multiple wishes?" Willow asked.

"Greed and slavery," Xander offered.

"Slavery?" Tara asked.

"Forcing a wish granting being to stay with you and obey your every wish is straight up slavery," Xander explained. "Granting wishes is often described as a willing process or to repay a debt, but eternal slavery is not part of that."

"And is obviously being greedy," Willow agreed.

"I always thought Jafar's wish to be a powerful sorcerer was the one smart thing he did," Tara offered. "He could have achieved all his goals with just that and a little patience."

"Which goes back to power you can wisely use," Willow agreed.

"Multiple wishes are out and a second vote for power modified by wisdom," Xander agreed.

"How about love?" Willow asked.

"Finding yes, making no," Xander said firmly. "Magically compelled is no better than rape and I am not going to piss Aphrodite off."

Willow laughed for a second before seeing they weren't laughing with her. "You're serious?"

"Wonder Woman has talked to the Greek Gods in person, they exist and serve a purpose. Aphrodite is love and that is really, really, really important," Xander said.

"I hadn't thought of it like that," Willow admitted.

"Finding love would be OK, just not compelling," Tara agreed.

"I don't think we need help finding love," Xander offered, before starting on his eggs.

Willow and Tara exchanged a quick smile before taking a moment to eat as well.

"So, wisdom, power, and money," Tara listed off.

"The wisdom of Solomon," Xander said, "and then the power to go with it, allowing you to grant your own wishes really. I wouldn't waste a wish on money since you could earn it yourself."

"So, we still need our third wish," Willow said.

"One of the standard wish variations is having a woman wish for love, beauty, and immortality," Tara offered.

"We've already covered love," Willow said.

"Beauty could be nice," Tara offered.

"But you're both already beautiful," Xander replied confused. "Why wish for what you already have?"

Willow smiled while Tara blushed. "You aren't so bad yourself," she assured him.

"I don't get rocks thrown at me so I'm happy," Xander said unconcerned, making Tara giggle while Willow just shook her head, recalling the number of skanks she'd had to chase away to keep her brother from being hurt.

"So... immortality?" Tara offered.

"Horrible idea," Xander said with a shudder. "Sure, you might enjoy a few hundred thousand years, but then the sun burns out and it gets dark and cold. Even universes can end and once more, it upsets the big guys."

"Healthy and really, really, really long lived for the three of us then," Willow suggested.

"Us and whoever we are seeing," Xander added.

"That would prevent a few tragedies," Willow agreed, deciding to try and feel out how Xander felt about certain subjects so she could straighten out the situation with Tara. "Phrased like that it also covers same sex couples where the term spouse wouldn't."

"Only in western countries and ignoring polygamy," Xander said.

"Good point," Willow said, mentally sighing as that didn't help figure out how Xander felt about the subject at all.

Tara figured out what Willow doing and decided to help. "So, what do you think about non-traditional relationships?"

Xander took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "People deserve a chance to be happy as long as they aren't screwing up someone else's chance."

"I have no idea what you mean by that," Tara admitted, seeing Willow was frustrated as well.

"I mean only two words matter in a relationship; 'Consenting adults," he explained.

The two smiled at him and Xander let out a relieved sigh inside his head. Getting them together was a delicate process that would take some very careful planning, and their acceptance of alternate lifestyles was a very important first step.

"On to the bank?" Willow asked, very happy with how things were going.

"To the bank," Xander agreed.

"We've gone on all the rides, multiple times," Tara said as Xander slid out of the booth, helping her up as well.

Willow gathered the cards and tossed a five-dollar tip on the table. "Already burnt out?" she asked doubtfully.

"No, but I was thinking we could see some of the shows and go on the slower rides," Tara offered hopefully.

"I have no objections," Xander said.

"Sounds like fun," Willow agreed.

Tara made a happy little sound that caused the twins to grin at each other.

Xander grabbed Willow's hand with his free one. "To the bank and then... Adventure!"

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"This has been the best weekend," Willow said with a smile as they waited in line. "We are definitely doing this again at other theme parks."

"There are a number of tourist attractions within a couple of hours drive," Xander agreed. "Every weekend we can hit a couple, grab a motel, hit a couple more, and then drive home."

"I don't know how you'll talk my Mom into letting me do this all the time," Tara said.

"Very carefully," Xander replied. "We can probably find a way to make it educational, like researching to write a tourist guide, so we can get college credit and cash for doing-" He turned and stepped in front of the girls in a blur of motion.

 ***ZAP***

Two men in costumes entered the bank, the one in a parka shot a blue beam at Xander, covering his body in a sheet of ice.

"Flash?!" Captain Boomerang exclaimed, ready to throw one of his trademark weapons.

"No, but he moved like him a bit," Captain Cold replied as Captain Boomerang nailed the sixty-year-old security guard in the temple, sending him to the floor out cold, his gun sliding across the floor to stop at Xander's frozen feet.

"In case you all didn't get the memo, this is a robbery." Captain Boomerang called out, "Everyone hit the ground!"

Willow slid around to face Xander. Looking into Xander's frozen eyes, Willow felt like her heart had stopped and ice was slowly crawling through her veins as well. She knelt down at Xander's feet.

"Told ya this was a good idea," Cold said, "with no Flash-"

 ***BANG*BANG*BANG***

The pair were slammed backwards, Captain Boomerang clutching his shoulder while Captain Cold was lying flat on his back gasping for breath.

Tara stared in shock. Xander, her girlfriend's brother, her boyfriend, big softie who was unable to say no, was gone!

He'd tried to protect them and gotten killed for it!

A roaring sound filled her ears and her vision darkened around the edges as she slowly edged around his frozen corpse, needing to see his face one last time.

There was almost a snarl on his lips, slightly blue through the thin layer of ice, frozen in warning. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she slowly raised her eyes to look into his, not wanting to see them empty of light, glassy and still. Forcing herself to look, knowing she owed him at least that much... Her heart skipped a beat.

Willow landed on Captain Cold knees first, pressing the 38-caliber pistol under his chin. "You killed him!" she hissed.

"Captain Cold winced as the hot barrel burned his skin. "What?! I didn't kill anyone!"

"You shot him and now I'm going to shoot you," Willow explained, ice cold blue eyes burning into his own.

"Frozen, not dead!" Captain Cold gasped out.

"What?" Willow asked, forcing herself to stop squeezing the trigger.

"My cold ray has never killed anyone," Captain Cold swore. "The Flash usually thaws em out in seconds or the police in hours. Hypothermia, maybe a cold at most. I swear on my Mom's grave, he's not dead!"

"Prove it!" Willow ordered.

"All we have to do is wait," Captain Cold promised. "The ice will melt and he'll be fine. I don't carry anything to unfreeze people."

"You're just trying to buy time for the police to save you," Willow decided. "Good-"

"Tell her, Digger!" Captain Cold snapped out.

"It's true," Captain Boomerang promised. "If we went around killing people, they'd stick us in cells so deep we'd never see daylight again or worse, transfer us to... Arkham."

"If you're lying to me, I'll let you live," Willow promised.

"Shouldn't that be the other way around?" Captain Boomerang asked, confused.

"No, because if you've lied to me, I will find a way to keep you alive for years and every moment of that you'll be praying for a death that never comes," Willow swore.

"Just look... What's she doing?" Captain Boomerang asked.

Willow didn't move, expecting a trick, until she heard the sound of ice shattering against the floor. She slowly turned her head and saw Tara kissing Xander, a soft yellow glow illuminating his body as the ice began to melt.

"You get to live," Willow said.

"Oh, thank god," Captain Cold said as Willow moved off him.

"Don't give thanks yet," Willow said, "your condition depends on his. If he's hurt in any way..."

"Tara?" Xander asked as he looked around blindly, wondering what had happened.

"I'm right here, sweetie," Tara said, stroking his cheek, shivering as if she'd just been pulled out of an icy river.

"I can't see," Xander said.

"And there goes your ability to reproduce," Willow said.

"Wills?" Xander questioned as he heard someone squeak in fear.

"Yes, Xander?" Willow asked, pausing and looking towards him.

"What are you doing? I seem to be blind and missing a few minutes here." He pulled Tara closer and tried to calm her shivers.

"Some guy in a parka froze you in ice while his friend knocked out the security guard with a boomerang," Willow explained. "Tara thawed you out with a kiss and now I'm going to shoot them in the crotch for blinding you."

"Ok," Xander said, slowly parsing everything.

"Snow blindness is temporary!" Captain Cold promised.

"Willamina Harmony Chase, I could use a hug right now," Xander said, holding out an arm in her general direction.

"Can it wait until I've neutered them?" Willow asked innocently.

"Don't you want a hug?" Xander asked, visibly pouting.

"Of course!" Willow exclaimed, skipping over to Xander, letting the gun drop to the floor as he squeezed her and she giggled.

"Run you fools!" Xander exclaimed, clutching the girls tightly. "I don't know how long I can hold them!"

The two Captains fled like the Flash was chasing them while Willow wiggled in Xander's grasp.

"They're gone," Willow said as she stopped wiggling and simply held him and Tara as tightly as possible. "I thought you were dead!"

"Didn't get a chance to see who it was before getting zapped, but Captain Cold isn't a killer, neither is Captain Boomerang," Xander promised. "Flash's rogue gallery is pretty mellow."

"Don't care," Willow said, burying herself in their embrace.

"Wh-what just happened?" a still shivering Tara asked.

"We scared off the bad guys," Xander explained.

"I n-need to warm up-up," Tara stuttered out.

"Why are you so cold?" Xander asked, as he rubbed her.

"H-had to sh-share heat with you," Tara explained.

"I need to get you both in a hot shower," Willow decided, forcing away her incipient tears. She could cry when they were well.

"You'll have to drive," Xander said, "snow blindness can last a while."

"Trust me, bro. I got this," Willow promised, bending down to wipe her prints off the gun before leading the two to the car, the sounds of sirens fast approaching.

 **Typing by: Abyssal Angel**


	7. Chapter 7

Xander held Tara in his lap, gently rubbing her arms and trying to warm her up while Willow drove. Cars around them pulled over to let them pass as police units with blaring sirens sped by in the opposite lane.

"Wh-where are we g-going?" Tara asked, ice forming on her lashes.

"Back to the motel," Willow said, "check out isn't until 2, and it has a hot tub."

"Keys?" Tara asked, burrowing into Xander's arms, desperate for warmth.

"Lockpick gun in the trunk," Willow replied.

"Y-you guys th-think of everything," Tara stuttered out.

Xander tore open the front of his T-shirt and pulled Tara against him, wincing at how cold she was. "We try. Now, what exactly did you do to rescue me and what's happening now?"

Tara fumbled with the buttons on her blouse as she talked, opening them one by one, "I connected us... pushed away the cold... b-but it doesn't last l-long."

"I didn't know you could do that," Xander said as Tara pushed naked skin against his own, trying for as much contact as possible.

"N-neither did I," Tara agreed. "N-not a spell, instinct-tive."

"We're here," Willow said, popping the trunk before she pulled into the lot. She practically leapt out of the car when they reached their spot, rushing to grab the lock pick gun and open the door.

Three pulls on the trigger was all it took and the door was open. She turned to get Xander and Tara, but found them standing right behind her. "Your vision returned?!" she asked excitedly as Xander brushed past her and hurried to the hot tub.

"Not even a little," he replied as he started stripping Tara naked, flipping on the water jets and temperature controls to max without looking.

Willow closed and locked the door behind her before helping Xander strip as he set a naked Tara in the water.

"Skin con-contact!" Tara ordered, refusing to let go of Xander, pressing her chest against him as Willow tugged down his boxers so he could climb into the water with Tara.

"B-better," Tara said, sitting on Xander's lap, holding him tight as the warm water swirled around them, color returning to her skin.

"Much," Xander agreed. "You seem to be getting the worst of it."

"Sh-should be equal," Tara replied. "Split between us."

"I'm coming in," Willow said, stripping.

"The more the merrier," Xander said, relief apparent as Tara stopped shivering.

Willow hugged them both, not saying a word as she let the tension flow out of her and the post adrenaline shakes began. Xander and Tara held her close, murmuring reassurances and bestowing kissing as she began to cry.

It was nearly half an hour before she stopped shaking and relaxed against them.

"Why did you call Willow by someone else's name in the bank?" Tara asked.

"To tell her what to act like," Xander replied. "Once I knew what was going on I needed a plan to get us out of there before the cops could get there and make things worse. I mean, Captain Cold and Captain Boomerang don't kill, but accidents happen in hostage situations."

"I thought I'd lost you," Willow said, closing her eyes and leaning into his side.

"You won't get rid of me that easily," Xander said, "I mean I just developed super powers, it'd be a pretty poor origin story if I died now."

"Is that how you can see while being blind?" Willow asked.

"Got it in one," Xander agreed. "The same morning I got muscles, I got the ability to feel everything around me, also the ability to cling to walls. I'm betting all my physical abilities increased, but I haven't checked."

"Just out of the blue?" Willow asked.

"Out of the blue," Xander agreed. "No weird ray hit me, no life or death situation, no aliens or gods granted me gifts. I woke up, looked in the mirror, and there they were."

"You didn't say anything about them," Willow said, almost afraid of asking why. Despite what he said, she knew she had been neglecting him lately.

"No, because we were going to Disneyland and it could wait until we got back and we had time to run some tests and figure it out," he assured her.

"Really?" Willow asked, doubt clear in her tone.

"I'm still connected to him, I can tell he's being truthful," Tara offered.

"Connected?" Willow's free hand slipped down between their legs.

"Magically linked," Tara quickly explained.

"Ah," Willow said, not moving her hand.

"You're kinda pressing him against me," Tara noted, more curious than anything.

"I think it's doing that on its own," Willow said.

"It is getting bigger," Tara said looking down into the bubbling water, unaware she was frowning at not being able to see anything.

Willow reached up and grabbed Tara's hand, pulling it under water and causing her eyes to widen, but after a second she relaxed.

"You aren't in the least bit bothered," she told Xander.

"You are my girlfriend, that gives you certain liberties," Xander said with a grin, clearly amused at the situation.

"And Willow?" Tara asked curiously.

"Being my Willow, she pretty much has a free hand to do what she likes," Xander assured her.

"It's hard and soft," Willow noted.

"You can feel his pulse," Tara added. "This is a strange situation."

"Because of what we just went through we are emotionally compromised right now," Willow explained, "otherwise we'd be acting differently."

"So, should we be doing this?" Tara asked.

"Probably not," Willow admitted, making no move to stop her examination.

Tara's breath caught as Willow's fingers caressed a very sensitive spot. "Aren't you going to stop us?" Tara asked Xander.

"I'm emotionally compromised too," Xander replied, stroking Willow's back.

"You don't feel any different than normal," Tara said, before Xander kissed her shoulder.

"I never said my condition was temporary or recent," Xander replied as Willow moved in front of them, squeezing Tara between them.

"I wanna try something," Willow said.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"It's almost check out time," Willow said, "we should get up and head out."

"Are we going to regret this later?" Tara asked as the three spooned naked in bed, Tara being the little spoon.

"I won't," Xander assured her.

"I doubt I will," Willow said. "I was trying to figure out a way to let Xander know I was interested in girls and you in particular without upsetting him and this seems to have worked."

Tara turned around so she was facing the two and took a deep breath. "Xander... I've been dating your sister for almost two weeks and didn't realize I was dating you until you fought with Larry."

"Oh," Xander said, surprised. "I didn't know and I should have. Sorry about that. Have I been coming between you two?"

"Not as much as I've been coming between you two," Tara said apologetically.

Willow burst out laughing.

"What?" the two chorused.

"I came between the two of you just a minute ago!" Willow said with a grin.

An unspoken agreement passed between Tara and Xander as they simultaneously attacked Willow, fingers targeting all her most ticklish spots.

"Uncle!" Willow quickly cried out.

"But seriously, if I'm intruding, just let me know," Xander said, "I'll gladly stand aside if it makes the two of you happy."

"But I don't want to make you unhappy," Tara said mournfully.

"I can be happy without having sex," Xander assured her, "I mean sex with you two. Sex doesn't have to be part of our relationship, we can be friends or siblings and date someone else."

"I..." Tara frowned. "I've never really been attracted to guys, emotionally I mean, but you... You're just like one of the girls," Tara explained, "and... I don't want to see you with some other girl. Just the idea is making me feel jealous and possessive. I want to keep you both to myself, as greedy as that is."

The two turned to Willow who was comfortably sandwiched between them. "Don't look at me, I plan on keeping both of you," Willow said, "Whether it's free range or a pit in the basement is up to you."

"I'm not sure if she's joking," Tara said, trying and failing to hide her amusement.

Xander kissed the back of Willow's neck, making her shiver. "We just can't risk it, I guess we'll have to stay together."

"Sound reasoning," Tara said before kissing Willow.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"We've got to check out in a few minutes," Willow said.

"I'll put on pants if I have to, but you'll have to drive us home," Xander reminded her.

"I can do that," Willow agreed, reluctantly getting up.

"Good, I am going to splash some water some places and toss on clothes," Xander said, rolling off the bed and landing on the floor in an easy crouch before standing up and stretching.

"Pull me up?" Tara asked Willow.

"Sure," Willow said, but Tara pulled her down and pinned her to the mattress, kissing her hard before hopping off the bed with a grin.

"And we don't have time to get you back," Willow grumbled. "You are so getting it when we get home."

Tara grinned evilly before slapping on an innocent expression and oh so slowly getting dressed with excessive stretches and gratuitous bending over.

"You are so evil!" Willow groaned.

"Evil, moi?"

"Yes, you," Willow said.

"Did I miss something?" Xander asked, coming out of the bathroom.

"Yes, but you'd have to be able to see to get it, which is probably why she teased me and not you," Willow said.

"I can't tease him visually right now," Tara agreed with a pout.

"Someone's feeling playful," Willow noted.

"It's been hours," Tara said, "any temporary emotional issues would have passed by now and I still feel good about everything."

"Good," Willow said with a big smile.

"How about you?" Tara asked, already sure of the answer.

"The only real difference on my end was the immediate need to push things forward and be intimate," Willow replied. "Who and what I did wasn't different, just the timing."

"And I remain unchanged," Xander said cheerfully.

The three got into the car and Willow started it up. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know about you guys, but I don't really feel like being out in public right now," Tara said. "I'd much rather be some place with just the three of us."

"Same here," Xander agreed. "Even if I wasn't blind right now, I really just want to hang out with you two."

"Home it is," Willow agreed, pulling out.

"Actually, how about showing me Uncle Alex's place?" Tara asked. "You guys got me really curious about it."

"Uncle Alex would love to have his beautiful niece and her girlfriend over," Xander said. "I'll warn you now though, he can be a bit of a letch."

Willow and Tara laughed.

"He's been known to pinch behinds if not watched closely, the dirty old man," Willow teased.

Xander grinned. "I think I need to make some outfits."

"Superhero costumes?" Tara asked.

"I was actually going to make a joke about French maid outfits," Xander said. "Superhero costumes?"

"You mentioned this being your superhero origin story earlier," Tara said, "and I figure a couple of costumes..."

"You think I should join the Justice League?" Xander asked.

"I was actually thinking kinky sex games," Tara admitted. "Having some minor abilities doesn't mean you have to run around in spandex. I have a bit of magical talent, but you don't see me stalking the night and beating up jay walkers."

"I second the kinky costume idea," Willow said, "and we really should see if we can figure out your powers and where they came from."

"Motion carried," Xander said, "and yes, we probably should, but what if I want to be a villain?"

"Heroes get the girl or girls in this case," Tara said, lacing her fingers through his.

"And hero I am!" Xander proclaimed, sticking his jaw out and squaring his shoulders like he was posing for a recruiting poster.

"Good, that means I get to be the villain and wear a skin tight black leather cat suit," Willow said.

"I was going to object but then I had to ask myself, 'will there be spankings involved?" Tara said with a grin.

"And the second motion passes as well," Xander said.

"But seriously we should probably find out where your powers came from and what their limitations are," Willow said.

"Most turn out to be genetic," Tara pointed out, "so if we can find out what turned yours on we can empower Willow as well."

"We aren't genetically related," Willow said, "Xander was a newborn my Mom adopted, not knowing she was several months pregnant with me."

"But your birthday's April first..." Tara's voice trailed off. "I can't believe I missed that."

"We get tired of telling people I was adopted," Xander explained, "and since we were only months apart in age it was rather obvious."

"Bastards tried to tell me Xander wasn't my 'real' brother since he was adopted," Willow said, glaring at the road in front of her. "Like blood even begins to compare to someone always being there for you!"

"Always was, always will be," Xander promised.

"If it makes you feel any better, I will always think of you as twins," Tara promised.

"Thanks baby, I appreciate it," Willow said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

"It kinda ruins the fantasy otherwise," Tara teased.

Xander burst out laughing while Willow groaned.

 **Typing By: Abyssal Angel**


	8. Chapter 8

"And we're here," Willow announced as she hit the button on a garage door opener and waited for the door to roll up.

"It's huge," Tara said, looking at the acres of neatly trimmed grass and massive three-story building.

"Yes, which is why upkeep is a pain and we only use a couple of rooms," Xander said. "I had to get a riding mower just to be able to handle the front and back lawn and don't even get me started on the pool. I mean, sure, an indoor pool is nice, but moisture causes mold and you have to continually adjust the chemicals in the pool."

Willow pulled into the left side of the garage, an old car up on blocks to the right of them with room for another half dozen cars. "Thankfully I only have to clean a couple of the rooms inside, since we don't need a lot of space."

"I'm surprised you're ever at home," Tara said as they grabbed their bags and Willow lead them inside, the garage door rumbling closed behind them.

"No internet, the TV's are so old the screens are about the size of a dinner plate and green, plus it's a little spooky," Willow explained.

"I mow it on the weekends, check the pool twice a week, and we swim... about the same," Xander explained. "We haven't for the last couple of months because it's a secret and we were still getting to know you."

"Well now we can return to our previous schedule," Willow said. "I think we've only stayed overnight twice the entire time we've owned it."

"There are two master bedrooms," Xander said, tugging on a lamp, causing a section of wall covered in tools to swing out and reveal a hidden set of stairs.

"Servant's stairs," Willow explained, waving for Tara to follow Xander up the dark staircase. "Lights," she reminded him as she followed, closing the wall behind her.

"Sorry, haven't been using my eyes," Xander said, flipping a switch on the wall.

"How is the eyesight coming?" Willow asked, still a little concerned.

Xander opened his eyes and looked around before closing them again. "Light and dark, blurry everything," he replied. "A big improvement but it's at least another half day before I can see normally I think." He turned a knob at the top of the stairs and it opened into a very opulent bedroom, the kind you expect the robber barons of old to have.

"That bed is huge," Tara said, staring at the massive hand carved canopy bed.

"Custom sized sheets and blankets," Xander said with a grin.

Willow sighed. "I get to do laundry and they are a load all on their own."

"Who's room is this one?" Tara asked.

"Ours," Willow replied. "No way in hell am I sleeping alone here!"

"First time we slept here she was in bed with me ten minutes after I crawled into bed," Xander said with a grin.

"It's over twice the size of a king-sized bed," Willow pointed out, "plenty of room to share."

"There are two master bedrooms, but we've decided to share this one," Xander explained with a grin. "I vote hot bath, who's with me?"

"Is the tub big enough for three people?" Tara asked.

"That's a yes from both of us," Willow told Xander. "I'll go run the water while you get pajamas."

"It's only five," Tara said.

"Yes, but we don't want to wear the clothes we got for tomorrow and today's are funky," Willow said, before ducking into a side room.

Tara cautiously sniffed herself.

Xander slipped behind Tara and sniffed her neck before licking it, making her squeal and jump and giggle. "You smell tasty, but also like sex and sweat."

Tara wiped the side of her neck with her hand and then dried it on Xander's shirt with a grin. "Somehow I have a feeling our pajamas won't be much better after we crawl into bed."

"We can completely forgo pajamas in bed," Xander suggested, "but walking around the house naked just seems weird."

"And cold," Willow added as she returned. "Water's running, but it'll take a minute."

"I want a tour," Tara said.

"After the bath," Willow said, "otherwise the tub will overflow way before we get halfway done."

"OK," Tara said. "Who owned the place before you bought it?"

"Some sort of fitness nut," Willow said.

"I think it was one of the first sports doctors, or a family with Olympic aspirations and an in-house doctor," Xander replied. "We haven't found any personal papers anywhere, but there's a lot of old timey medical stuff and equally ancient workout gear."

"Olympic pool, gym, and weight lifting room," Willow explained. "The records say it belonged to the Hidalgo Trading Company and all taxes and upkeep were paid for from a pre-existing fund that ran out of money about five years ago, which is why it was being sold by the city, who claimed it for back taxes."

"A lot of cutting edge nineteen fifties technology in this place," Xander said cheerfully.

"Some rich guy probably set all this up and then died or moved to another country without setting foot in it," Willow said.

"And yet you still crawled into bed with me," Xander teased.

"It's spooky at night," Willow said firmly, "and if it isn't haunted then the house is just waiting for its first victim so it will be!"

Xander and Tara laughed while Willow simply stuck her tongue out at them and went to check on the bath. "It's ready!" she called back.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

 ***DING DONG*DING DONG*DING DONG***

"I forgot about the alarm clock," Willow complained, burying her head under the blankets.

"That's an alarm clock?" Tara asked sleepily.

"Goes off at sunrise," Xander said cheerfully, full of energy.

"I will find where that bell tower is hidden one day and I will destroy it," Willow swore, her voice slightly muffled by the blankets.

"There's probably a hunchback hidden in the house somewhere," Tara suggested, half seriously.

"You girls ready to get up?" Xander asked.

"Still tired," Tara said.

"And sore," Willow added.

"We ended up in bed by six," Xander pointed out, "you should both be well rested."

"We didn't exactly get to sleep at six," Willow said, "and we exercised muscles I haven't really used a bunch."

"If you love us, you'll let us sleep," Tara told him.

"Yes, dear," Xander said, diving beneath the covers and crawling down to the foot of the bed so he could escape without disturbing them.

"He called me 'dear'," Tara said happily, crawling closer to Willow so she could cuddle with her.

"Yep," Willow agreed, snuggling with her and instantly falling asleep once more.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"You two have completely ruined the plan," Trickster said, before ordering himself another drink from the hotel bar.

"Wasn't much of a plan to begin with," Boomerang pointed out, nursing his own drink.

"It may have been a bit standard," Trickster allowed.

"A bit?" Cold snorted. "The only thing different was the location."

"Well since we're all here anyway I figured it was a good opportunity," Trickster admitted.

"Business first," Captain Cold said.

"Like you two?" Trickster teased.

"Just testin' the water," Boomerang said.

"LA doesn't have any dedicated heroes, figured it'd be a milk run," Cold admitted with a chuckle.

"So, what did happen?" Trickster asked.

"The people in Central City know me and know my freeze rays don't kill," Captain Cold said. He grinned. "We ran across a teenage girl who didn't know that and thought I'd killed her boy."

"Three bloody teenagers," Boomerang said. "First moved like The Flash, second melted Cold's ice with a kiss-"

"What?" Trickster asked.

"We ran into a trio of metas," Cold said.

"Baby heroes?" Trickster guessed.

The two exchanged glances and shrugged.

"Not the redhead," Boomerang said with a shudder.

"Let me lay it out for you," Captain Cold said. "We enter the bank, weapons ready. Dark haired guy was a blur as he moved in front of the two girls with him. Naturally I see someone moving that fast, I freeze them."

"Guard's an old fella, so a little tap on the temple puts him down," Boomerang added. "Standard yell for everyone to get down."

"The guard's gun slid right to the redhead and she didn't even pause," Captain Cold said, admiration in his voice. "She dropped to the ground like we asked and not a second later she's up with the gun in her hand like she's practiced the move a million times."

"The new ballistic weave fibers are the only reason we're not a bloody mess," Boomerang said. "First shot dislocated my shoulder, putting me out of the game."

"I feel a couple of sledgehammer blows and I'm suddenly on the ground with a pistol under my chin," Captain Cold said. "The girl couldn't have been more than fourteen or fifteen, but looking into those cold blue eyes... I almost shat myself."

The Trickster narrowed his eyes. "You're shittin' me."

"He's not," Boomerang assured him. "She had us dead to rights and the only reason we were still breathin' was she wanted us to know why she was killing us."

"I told her my guns don't kill and she doesn't buy it for a second, accused me of trying to buy time for the cops to rescue us," Captain Cold explained.

Trickster burst out laughing and the other two joined him a minute later. "I don't believe it," he said, tears of laughter in his eyes.

"Yeah, the irony is thick," Cold agreed.

"Then the blonde girl makes like Prince Charming and kisses the guy. The ice starts melting and there's a golden glow," Boomerang added.

"Kid doesn't believe us when we tell her, until she hears some of the ice fall, then she carefully checks," Captain Cold said. "Never drops her guard for an instant!"

"We think it's a miracle and we're saved," Boomerang said.

"And then Red tells us that if we are lying and he isn't OK, she'll keep us alive for years while making us wish otherwise," Captain Cold said.

"Not gon' lie, a bit of wee came out on that one," Boomerang admitted.

"He's got a bad case of temporary blindness and she calmly informs us we're about to get a thirty-eight-caliber vasectomy," Cold said with a grin.

"Now the dark-haired bloke, despite being blind and frozen in ice for the last couple of minutes, figures out what's going on in less than a second and gets Red to drop the gun and hug him," Boomerang explains.

"He restrains the girls and tells us to book it," Captain Cold finishes. "We make tracks and just when we think we're free and clear…"

Boomerang shook his head. "We spot a cop car in our rear-view mirror coming up fast, but it blows right past us."

"As it passes us we get a glimpse inside," Captain Cold says and leans forward. "Red stole a cop car and the three are using the oncoming cops to clear traffic, allowing them to escape. One of the ballsiest fucking moves I have ever seen!"

"That is one hell of a tall tale," Trickster said, shaking his head, "but you overplayed just a hair too much for me to buy it."

Captain Cold tilts his head back and points at the underside of his chin where a red circle the size of a cheerio is burned into his skin.

"Holy shit!"

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Batman checked the footage of the cameras he'd seeded throughout the Starlight hotel and Convention Center in LA.

"That's not very sporting," The Flash mock lectures him.

Batman's lips twitched for a brief second, which The Flash caught and pretended he didn't.

"The Wayne Foundation's annual Inventor's and Innovator's Retreat serves several purposes," Batman replied. "Various high-profile criminals share minor practical technological improvements with the government, insuring they get reduced sentences when caught, provided they aren't committing certain categories of crime of course."

"I know and sometimes they actually sell something and retire from the life," The Flash said. "Trust me, I approve."

"Yes, not to mention all the test data from their various crimes," Batman continued, "but one of the most useful functions of the Retreat, besides reduced crime rates for the length of it, is the chance to gain additional Intel. Watch this clip."

Batman tapped a button and the screen in front of him flickered and let out a high-pitched squeal, showing the last five minutes he'd viewed in a fraction of a second.

"Wow," The Flash said, shaking his head. "Think we're looking at future villains or heroes?"

"Too early to tell," Batman replied, "but if we want to have any hope of influencing them it has to be while they're young and preferably before any traumatic events occur."

"Can't argue with you there," The Flash admitted. "Any leads?"

"Several," Batman assured him.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"GHOST!" Willow screamed in a panic, bringing Xander running and waking Tara.

A ball of light the size of a basketball floated in the middle of the room.

"Uh oh," Tara said, paling.

"What?!" Willow exclaimed worriedly, clinging to her.

"I forgot to call my mom," Tara admitted.

"And..." Willow gestured to the ball of light.

"That's her reminder," Tara said. "I hope I'm not in trouble."

"If you are then so am I," Xander pointed out, "since I was supposed to give her a number to call us in case of emergency and I forgot."

"No, I gave her the number for the hotel," Willow assured him.

"I forgot to call last night when we got in," Tara explained.

"And we aren't at home where she can call us," Willow realized.

"Technically we haven't gotten in yet," Xander offered.

"Think she'll buy it?" Willow asked hopefully.

"Not likely," came Linda's voice through the ball.

 **Typing By: Abyssal Angel**

 **TN: Sounds like Han Solo's blindness when he came out of Carbonite freeze...**


	9. Omakes!

**Self Taught**

"And of course I see it when we have sex," Willow said. "Not only see it of course, because it's pretty big and the way it feels... wooo!"

Tara stared at her girlfriend, but Willow seemed completely unaware that anything she'd said was in any way unusual. "How long has it been since you've seen your parents?"

"They call every now and then on the holidays," Willow replied.

"But how long has it been since they've been here?" Tara asked.

"Since our eighth... no, ninth birthday," Willow said.

"And who gave you the sex talk?" Tara asked.

"Pfft!" Willow waved her hand. "We didn't need anyone to give us the talk, we found dad's old collection of Penthouse Forum and got a subscription to an adult channel, they gave us a lot more information than any sex ed class."

"Yeah, I can see how that works," Tara said, a number of her girlfriend's quirks suddenly making sense.

"So do you want to be the meat in the sandwich tonight or start as the bread?" Willow asked.

"Because we are going to be having a threesome?" Tara asked, just to be sure.

"You're dating twins," Willow said, giving her a look that said the answer should be obvious.

Tara thought about it for a second before finding herself saying, "Let's make Xander the meat to start, he's been really nice lately." She knew that she'd feel guilty for taking advantage of their naiveté later, but for now... twins!

 **Copy + Paste**

Xander woke up with a start, two complete sets of memories clashing. After a few seconds it seemed to settle down.

Willow murmured something in her sleep and snuggled closer.

Xander froze feeling Willow's naked breasts rubbing against her own. Xander blinked and peeked under the blankets, while consulting her memories. In this reality she was Willow's identical twin, Alexis.

Tara's hand slipped down to Alexis' hip as she muttered something indistinct in her sleep in response to their movement.

'I'm okay with this,' Alexis decided allowing herself to drift off to sleep with a content smile on her face.

 **Vivid Imagination**

"And then after the oral exam comes an in-depth study of the vagina," Tara said. "Him checking your 'depth'."

"What'd I miss?" Xander asked, as he sat on the bed next to Willow and listened to his girlfriend spin complicated sexual fantasies between him and his sister.

"Tara has a very vivid imagination," Willow said. "I mentioned you were bigger hard and she started..." Willow waved her hand.

"Sis, I love you, but I'm pretty sure I haven't loved you 'that' way," Xander said.

"Yeah, I would have remembered," Willow agreed.

"Of course a comparison was needed to make sure the scientific data was accurate, so Willow invites me over," Tara continued, "and I innocently agree to help with her make up exam which quickly turns into a make out exam!"

"How many of these does she have?" Willow asked in disbelief as Tara started yet another complex fantasy as they listened.

 **Slippery When Wet**

Xander found himself standing naked in front of a massive golden throne, averting his eyes as the light coming off of it was blinding.

"You helped destroy the world!" a voice thundered from the chair, making his bones shake and driving him to his knees.

"My bad," Xander said, trying and failing to climb to his feet.

"Do you regret your actions?" the voice demanded, forcing him to the ground.

"No," Xander said.

"What?!"

Xander felt several of his ribs break as the weight of the word crushed him against the ground. "I regret the results, but never the actions!" he gasped out.

The light blinked off and his pain vanished.

"You are worthy," Aphrodite judged him from her throne.

"What?" Xander asked, confused.

"I was called upon to judge you for your crimes," Aphrodite explained. "Unlike most mortals, you learned your lesson right away and your motivation was completely wholesome."

"But... worthy?" Xander asked.

"Of a boon," Aphrodite said cheerfully. "I've been watching this show Amaterasu likes and well... you'll see."

Xander's danger sense pinged well into the red, but before he could say anything he vanished in a burst of light.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Starfire checked her restraints, but like the last hundred times they were unbreakable. "This is all your fault."

Blackfire shrugged. "You have to bet big to win big."

"And lose big," Starfire said with a huff.

"Peace sisters," Earthfire said, as the eldest of the three she was the voice of reason and the one that kept them from lashing out at one another. "Slaver ships such as this one are frequently hit by rival slavers and green lanterns. Save your strength for when it matters."

"Yes sis," the younger pair agreed.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"Where the hell am I now?!" Superboy complained.

He was acutely aware that he was a flawed clone at times like this, when his sense of direction failed him.

"How'd you get in here?" The Joker demanded. "Boys, get him!"

Thugs tried to dogpile the Kryptonian clone to no avail.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

Xander awoke with two complete sets of memories clashing in his head, but barely noticed over the feeling of impending doom.

After a few seconds, the feeling faded, and he rushed out of the room to check on Willow.

 **The Proof is in the Pudding**

"Xander, there is something I have to say to you," Willow said solemnly.

"Go ahead," Xander said, sitting on the bed next to her.

"I'm gay," Willow told him.

"I find that hard to believe," Xander said, shaking his head. "I mean, I'm pretty sure I'd notice."

"Well you didn't and I am," Willow said, feeling a little better as he didn't seem repulsed or upset.

"I'm almost certain you're wrong," he said earnestly.

"No, I'm really, really gay," Willow promised.

"It's not that I don't believe you," Xander said, "it's just that you like to adopt new life styles and try them out, it's what teens do. I'm afraid I'm going to need proof."

"Like what?" Willow asked, feeling vaguely insulted even while having to admit he had a point as teens did have to try things to find out who they were. She remembered her goth stage that lasted about eight hours.

"Tara, can you come in here please?" Xander called out. "I need your help."

"Yes?" Tara asked as she cautiously poked her head into Xander's room. Willow had told her she was going to come clean to Xander so Tara had waited outside as moral support.

"Come sit here between us," Xander said, patting the bed.

"Ok," Tara said, wondering what was going on.

"This is our friend Tara," Xander said. "She is absolutely adorable, has a subtle but killer sense of humor, and when you get down to it anyone who even remotely likes women will find her attractive."

"And?" Willow asked as Tara blushed.

"If you are gay like you claim... kiss her," Xander challenged.

"Fine," Willow said, leaning forward and giving Tara a peck on the lips.

"You've kissed me with more passion than that," Xander said. "No, kiss her like this!"

Xander kissed Tara passionately, one hand stroking her back as the other cupped the back of her head. "Like that," he said when he released the surprised blonde, who was used to Xander being shy and reserved.

"Alright, I will!" Willow pulled Tara to her and kissed her passionately. "See?"

"A decent kiss, but kissing with either gender is the same. Try this!" Xander pulled Tara onto his lap and started making out with her, his right hand slowly unbuttoning her blouse before sliding inside.

"Oh, it is on!" Willow declared, pulling the panting blonde onto her own lap.

 **Ten minutes later...**

Xander kissed Tara's inner thigh before sitting back up. "Well?"

"Move aside and let me show you how it's done!" Willow said with a smirk.

 **Thirty minutes later...**

"Well?" Willow demanded as she glared into his eyes, Tara a naked, sticky mess passed out not a foot away.

"I'll admit you are bisexual," Xander compromised.

"Why won't you admit I'm gay?!" Willow demanded.

Xander glanced down where their pubic hair was matted together, sticky with their combined secretions, and back up to Willow who was naked atop him and raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, fair point," she conceded.

 **Once more from the top**

"Xander," Willow said.

He smiled back at her before blinking and looking around, and then down at the broken yellow crayon in his hand.

"It worked!" Willow said in wonder.

"Kindergarten?" Xander asked.

"Time enough to save everyone," Willow told him. "Now come help me color."

"Ok," he agreed, squeezing into the desk beside her; they had years before they had to worry about anything... even puberty.

The two children happily colored together, everything else could wait. Alice and her adventures in Wonderland needed to be brought to life.

 **Today's safe word is… **

"Diana needs backup," J'onn announced, heading for the transporter. "A villain with mind control powers has Supergirl under his thrall as well as a couple of civilians she was trying to save. Flash, take the comms."

"On it," The Flash said, checking the monitors and reviewing the logs as the Martian Manhunter teleported down. Something about this situation seemed familiar...

"Not again," he muttered, checking the location and shaking his head. "I know I put up a notice for members not to patrol there after last week with Supergirl."

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Martian Manhunter appeared in a flash of light, spotting Wonder Woman wrestling with Supergirl while a man in a black spandex and leather outfit rubbed his temples. A blonde and a redhead dressed in fetish versions of Catholic school girl outfits stood next to him.

"I am not being controlled!" Supergirl growled out, before shoving Wonder Woman to the ground.

Wonder Woman yanked Supergirl's feet out from under her. "Fight it!"

"Supergirl is free of any mental control," J'onn said.

"Finally!" Wonder Woman exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

"I was never under anyone's control," Supergirl said, floating upright.

"You were faking it?" Wonder Woman asked, confused.

"Yes, I was faking it," Supergirl confirmed, annoyed.

"We are interrupting... private time," Martian Manhunter explained awkwardly.

"Oh," Wonder Woman said, looking around the 'evil lair' with new eyes and blushing. "Sorry to interrupt," she apologized before tapping her comm and teleporting back to the Watchtower.

"Apologies," J'onn said politely before vanishing as well.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

The Flash waited, knowing Wonder Woman and the Martian Manhunter would return shortly, wanting answers.

"Do I have to ask?" Wonder Woman said as she entered the monitor room.

"My Rogues Gallery passed around word to avoid southern California," Flash explained. "Naturally this caught my attention, and I decided to have a look around. Supergirl was patrolling with me and we found a spider themed hero and a red haired seductress vying over a scantily clad blonde girl who was chained to a wall."

"And unlike myself, you and Supergirl stopped and asked questions rather than simply jumping to conclusions," Wonder Woman guessed.

"I wish," The Flash said, shaking his head. "Anyway, after that incident, I talked to my villains and got some specifics, which I then checked police reports and surveillance camera footage to confirm. The guy has some freaky spider powers, the blonde has a bit of the mystical mumbo jumbo, and the red head has absolutely no mercy if you harm either one of them."

"And what are her powers?" Wonder Woman asked.

"She doesn't have any, not that she seems to need them," The Flash said. "Captain Cold and Boomerang tried to rob a bank in California and tripped over them. Red thought they had killed the guy and only finding out they hadn't, saved their lives."

"She didn't look very threatening," Wonder Woman noted.

"The three of them are completely peaceful and non-violent," The Flash said, "until you hurt one of them, then the other two are more than violent enough to make up for it."

"Violent enough to make your Rogues avoid southern California?" Wonder Women asked doubtfully.

"The Trickster hit the blonde with a joker gas derivative he was testing that makes them laugh and then feign death," The Flash explained. "Not only did the red head break his arm with a chair, but she was fully ready to slit his throat. The guy stopped her and it wasn't to be nice, no."

"Then why did he?" Wonder Woman asked.

"Because the dead don't suffer," The Flash said. "Those were his exact words. Needless to say my villains are not stupid enough to anger people who consider death a lesser punishment than what they have planned."

"So they are villains," Wonder Woman said.

The Flash shook his head. "They were doing normal stuff when anyone ran across them, they are simply... really, really, protective of each other."

"They are young, powerful, and without guidance," Wonder Woman said. "We should try to get them in the program."

"I don't know if they'd exactly be the best fit," The Flash disagreed.

"I notice you haven't said what happened when you and Kara attacked them or why she was with them today," Wonder Woman noted. "Also someone really should tell Kal what his young impressionable cousin has been up to..."

"But then again Artemis could use some more female friends, and I'm sure Kid Flash would only get a couple of concussions before learning what boundaries are," The Flash quickly rattled off. "I'll go talk to them and see what they say, bye!"

Wonder Woman turned to look at a seemingly empty spot in the air. "Would you like to take over monitor duty while I talk to Kal?"

"No, I'll do it," Martian Manhunter volunteered, "I have many questions about human sexuality I have to ask him."

"Probably not the best time, but it's up to you," Wonder Woman said.

 **TYPING BY: PIXELHERODEV**

 **AN: Just some amusing jokes set in possible offshoots of this timeline.**


	10. Chapter 10

"It was worth a shot," Willow said.

"How much trouble are we in here?" Xander asked.

"Not much," Linda said, "I'll probably ground Tara for a week for worrying me."

"No Tara for a week?!" the twins chorused in horror before crushing her between them.

"Ack!" Tara squeaked, all the air squeezed out of her.

Linda's laughter rang out loudly as the ball of light broke up and dispersed.

"What happened?" Willow asked, waving a hand through the air where the ball of light had been and letting Tara flop on the bed.

"You made her laugh so hard she lost control of the spell," Tara explained, once she'd caught her breath.

"Let's go get breakfast for her to try and butter her up a bit," Xander suggested.

"We might also want to tell her about the bank," Willow suggested.

"That might help," Tara agreed. "I wouldn't suggest telling her about the hot tub after though,"

"Umm," Xander bit his lip.

"What?" Willow asked.

"The way you two are moving… she's going to know," Xander told them.

"Ah," Willow blushed. "Ok, it looks like I'll be taking the day off from school then."

"What?" Xander and Tara chorused in shock.

"Listen, I can't just show up at school with both me and Tara looking freshly fucked when we just hung out with Xander for the weekend!" Willow explained, waving a hand in the air. "I'm not ashamed or anything, but we really don't need the complications."

"She cursed," Xander said in shock.

"I know," Tara agreed, "and it was a bit of a turn on."

"Do we have time to molest her?" Xander asked, not entirely joking.

"Sadly, no," Tara said, "we have to pick up breakfast as a bribe for my mom and figure out how to delicately break the news that we are 'freshly fucked' to her."

Willow stared at them both for a moment. "One of you is a bad influence on the other one and I'm not sure which."

"New idea, we hide under the covers and wait for the world to go away," Xander suggested as the ball of light returned.

"The motion has been put to the board that we hide under the covers and wait for the world to go away," Willow said. "Votes?"

"Aye," Xander said.

"Aye," Tara agreed.

"Aye," Willow finished.

"Nay," Linda said. "I'll pick up breakfast and meet you three where you are now and I expect to see you all up and about, not hiding under the covers."

The ball of light vanished.

"How did she know where we are?" Willow asked.

"She's my mom, she always knows where I am," Tara replied. "Kinda hard to hide from the person who gave you your name."

"And did you ever notice how they use your full name when they are upset?" Xander said. "It's kinda overkill, but even non-magical moms do it."

"They do, don't they," Tara said thoughtfully. "It freezes you in place and makes it harder to argue with them. Names have power."

"More stuff you guys know about that I don't," Willow complained.

"We have a lot of studying to do," Xander told her, "but right now I'd suggest you two wash up and change while I go downstairs and wait for your mom."

"Is there any hot water left?" Willow teased.

"Plenty," Xander assured her. "Remember the water heater in this place is a custom job."

"Everything for this place is a custom job," Willow said.

"Must have been a really rich guy," Tara said.

"Money used to go a lot farther," Willow said. "Do you want to use my body wash?"

Xander walked down to the entry hall to wait for Linda, knowing that if he stayed for another minute he'd give into temptation and join them in the shower.

The entry hall was dusty and the furnishings were all covered in sheets. Since they didn't use the front entrance they didn't bother cleaning it, leaving everything the way they found it.

He entertained himself by poking around the room, looking under the sheets and even checking for loose change under cushions. He found a half dozen coins all of which looked foreign.

 ***knock*knock*knock***

Xander opened the door to reveal a curious looking Linda who was carrying a bag of McDonalds and a tray of orange juice.

"I didn't think anyone lived here and I know you don't," she said.

"No, but I do own it," Xander replied. "Tara wanted to see it so we didn't make it home last night. Let's go wait for the girls in the solarium."

"Solarium?" Linda asked curiously. "I didn't know those existed outside detective novels about England."

Xander lead her to the stairs. "I think they are mainly used in places that don't get much sun because of the weather or at least that's the idea behind them. They never really caught on in California for obvious reasons."

"I wonder why this place has one then," Linda said, looking around as they walked.

"A rich eccentric built this place," Xander replied. "I would have gone with an arboretum myself, but a solarium is nice."

"Ah," Linda said with a smile when the hall they were walking in flooded with sunlight as Xander opened a pair of double doors and revealed the solarium.

It was at the very top of the house, waist high mahogany interior giving way to hand blown glass panes held in place by polished brass. The floor was black marble and matched the wet bar and ebony tables scattered about.

"Beautiful as it is, it must be an oven during the day," Linda said, setting everything on a table.

"It is," Xander agreed, "and I love it!" He went behind the bar and grabbed a glass and bronze capsule the size of a can of soda. He jotted a quick note before opening a small hatch on the side of the bar and shoving it in.

"Was that a pneumatic tube?" Linda asked, recognizing the sound.

"Just like at the bank," Xander agreed. "I'm kinda surprised there aren't speaking tubes as well, but it works fine for passing messages and small items."

"Nifty," Linda said, emptying the bag of food onto the table. "It's all breakfast burritos and hash brown patties."

"Good choice and explains how you got here so quickly," Xander said.

The door on the north end of the room opened and a freshly showered and changed Willow and Tara entered.

"Both of you?" Linda asked, surprised, making the girls groan as she had evidently noticed the way they moved.

"Things got a bit emotional when it turned out I hadn't been killed by getting hit with a freeze ray," Xander explained.

"At Disneyland?" Linda asked in disbelief. "I'm surprised any villain had the balls to attack there, their lawyers are scary."

"We were at the bank when Captain Cold and Captain Boomerang attacked," Willow explained, as they sat at the table.

"But they don't kill," Linda said.

"We know that now," Willow said, embarrassed.

"So once Xander was thawed out by the police, the three of you… made up for lost time?" Linda asked delicately.

"I… kissed him and melted the ice," Tara explained. "I'm not exactly sure what I did."

"Bet that was fun to explain to the police," Linda said, shaking her head. "They really should have contacted me."

"We didn't wait around," Xander said. "Willow scared the villains off, I was blind at the time, and Tara was slowly icing over… So, we just split to find some hot water."

"You scared off Captain Cold and Captain Boomerang?" Linda asked Willow.

"I thought they'd killed Xander," Willow said, scooting her chair a little closer to Xander.

"How did you scare them off?" Linda asked.

"I shot them with a guard's 38," Willow explained. "They were wearing body armor of some kind, but it slowed them down enough for me to have a few words with them."

"Alright, I can see you've all had a busy weekend and an emotional one as well," Linda said. "Barring supervillain attacks, I expect you three to be more responsible next time and call when expected."

"We promise," Tara quickly said.

"What are the odds we'll even run into any more supervillains?" Willow asked.

Xander laughed. "A lot better since you just challenged Murphy."

Once the laughter quieted down, Linda said, "Xander, you better get to school, I have a bunch of female only information to share with the girls and they need to rest up a bit."

"Female only?" Xander asked.

"Men have their own talk," Linda assured him.

"Not sure Dad is the kind to give a useful talk," Xander said shaking his head.

"I'll see if I can't find someone to give you a talk," Linda promised, "but for now, scoot."

"Alright," Xander said, giving the girls a quick hug and a kiss. "I'll get copies of the homework for you two."

 **The previous day**

"I've got several unaffiliated metas in downtown LA," Cyborg reported. "They didn't cover their tracks all that well, so I should be able to get close enough for you to do your bloodhound impersonation."

"Woof!" a green bloodhound barked out.

"He meant me," Raven told Beastboy.

"Following a psychic trail is a lot easier than a scent trail, especially in LA," Beastboy conceded, transforming back to human. "If you can pull it off."

"Depends on how emotional the situation was," Raven admitted.

Cyborg tapped a few keys and the scene from the bank played out in grainy black and white with poor sound quality. "Looks pretty emotional to me," Cyborg said.

"Dude, did she really just melt the ice with a kiss?!" Beastboy exclaimed.

"Yes, it looks like they'll be pretty easy to track," Raven said.

"Too bad we couldn't get some of the others to join us," Beastboy said with a sigh.

Raven nodded. "Both Robin and Kid Flash were tempted, but their mentor's promise of advanced training with an eye towards joining the Justice League lured them back."

"Well if we can't grab the sidekicks, and all the current heroes are already comfortable where they are, recruiting new heroes is the way to go," Cyborg said.

"I'm still going to bug Speedy," Beastboy said, "he opted out of the sidekicks so he's open."

"He's really determined to join the League itself," Raven warned him, "I don't think you'll get him to change his mind."

"I know," the green teen assured her, "I'm just bugging him just to bug him, he's way too uptight. Besides, just because he didn't join doesn't mean we shouldn't keep in contact. You gotta network. You never know when you'll need to call in some backup."

Raven nodded. "You're a lot more experienced in these matters than I am."

"Stick with me kid, we're going places," Beastboy said grandly.

Cyborg chuckled. "And right now that place we're going is LA."

"That's a six-hour drive," Beastboy said, "So at least we'll be able to catch some Z's on the way. Who's driving?"

"I'm rich and we aren't expecting a battle, I got a helicopter and pilot so we can hit it in the morning and be there by noon," Cyborg said.

"This is so much better than my last gig," Beastboy said, tears in his eyes.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Any luck finding the kids?" Flash asked, taking a seat next to Batman. "I'm only asking because I asked the Question to take a stab at it and wanted to see which of you would be faster."

Batman took a sip of orange juice before replying, "I assigned it to the team. It's good training for them."

"Really think they can find them?" the Flash asked.

"The dark haired young man said the red-haired girl's full name. Even if it's an alias, they're usually connected to their real names to make it easier to remember," Batman said.

"Not to mention the stolen police car," the Flash recalled. "Kinda hard to not leave clues there."

"Provided the car is recovered it'll be a good source of fingerprints and hair," Batman agreed.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Xander finished his fifth lap around the track when the coach waved him in.

"Rosenberg, you've kept up a good pace for an Olympic athlete and may in fact have broken a handful of records. Anything you want to tell me?" Coach Marin asked seriously.

"I'm naturally gifted at running," Xander offered lamely.

"Do I need to have you tested?"

"Woah! I'm not on any drugs!" Xander exclaimed, offended.

"That's not what I'm saying," the coach explained carefully. "I'm asking if I ran a DNA scan would I find any abnormalities?"

"You can do that?" Xander asked, surprised.

"Lexcorp puts out a reasonably priced kit," Coach Marin explained. "While it may not be able to precisely identify anything besides Kryptonians, it makes detecting most meta-human deviations easy."

"And that's a common problem?" Xander asked.

"You can't field metahumans in competitive matches," Coach Marin explained, "it's simply unfair."

"Yeah, putting Superman on a football field would really give one side an unfair advantage," Xander admitted. Xander chewed on his bottom lip as he tried to figure out what to do.

"It's considered confidential medical information and I know of at least one young man who used it to avoid being pressured into sports. He was completely human and just didn't want to play, by the way," the coach explained.

"Do I have to take the test?" Xander asked.

"Not unless you compete," the coach assured him. "I'd advise staying on the team. I'll make you the equipment manager. You won't be competing, but you can help the others train and nothing more will be said about the subject."

"I think I'd like that," Xander said. "Thanks."

"No problem, kid," the coach said, relieved there was an easy solution to the problem. "Just don't put on spandex and rob places and I'll be happy."

"No promises about the spandex, but I'm not really the criminal type," Xander joked.

"Good, the last thing we need around here is that kinda nonsense," Coach Marin said.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Got a read on them?" Beastboy asked, as Raven paused outside the bank.

"A very strong one," Raven confirmed, "And one of them cast a binding spell."

"A binding spell?" Cyborg asked as they returned to the limo.

"A spell to join two people together," Raven explained. "A side effect is the breaking of any previous bindings while sharing health and strength between them."

"Like say… being bound in ice?" Cyborg guessed.

"Exactly," Raven agreed. "Go that way," she said, giving a gesture to the north. "I'll tell you where to turn as needed."

"Yes, Ma'am," the driver replied before starting the car and smoothly pulling into traffic.

"Smart move on her part," Beastboy said.

"It felt more instinctual than anything planned out," Raven replied. "Turn left ahead," she quickly guided them to their destination.

"A cheap motel?" Beastboy said doubtfully. "Not the place I was expecting the trail to lead. You sure?"

"Trust me," Raven said, pulling her hood up to hide her blush, "they were definitely in the last room."

"I'll run inside and get an address," Cyborg said. "Unless they paid cash and dropped a deposit for room damages, they'll have used a credit card and have a home address."

"If that doesn't work, let me know," Raven said, "I can definitely get enough… material to cast a location spell from the room."

"Then why don't we just do that?" Beastboy asked.

"It's… icky," Raven admitted.

"Say no more!" Cyborg said. "One address coming right up!"

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Where is the report for the stolen cop car?" Robin growled, checking and rechecking.

"Maybe they haven't entered it into the system yet?" Kid Flash suggested.

"It's a high priority item," Robin disagreed, "it'd be reported immediately."

"Could the villains have been wrong about it being stolen?" Kaldur asked.

"It could have just looked like a police car," Artemis suggested, "or they could have been lying to make losing to a single civilian teen less pathetic."

"I would not call that pathetic," Miss Martian disagreed, "she was scary."

"Well the name was a bust, no police vehicles of any type, with the exception of a bicycle, have been stolen in the last month, so if a look alike vehicle comes up blank, I am officially out of ideas," Robin admitted.

"According to the villains, they were passed by them a minute later. Since they were likely heading back to the convention center to lay low, just check the traffic cameras along that route," Artemis said.

"And… we have a hit," Robin said with a grin as the clear view of the car driving through an intersection popped up, the three teens visible in the front seat.

"Now we just track down the stolen car and grab some prints," Kid Flash said.

"Clear pic of the plates and… No police reports of it being stolen, however we have a registration, home address, and… wait for it… Driver's license photo!" Robin announced, pulling up the file.

"Alex Parker," Artemis said, giving it a quick look over. "Not bad looking, where does he live?"

"Sunnyvale," Robin replied, highlighting the address on the license.

 **Typing By: Abyssal Angel**


	11. Chapter 11

**Earlier that morning…**

"You do know that in addition to the social stigma there is also genetic risks, right?" Linda asked.

"Xander is adopted, we came up with the whole twin thing because it kept us from having to deal with people pointing out that we couldn't be siblings since we were so close together in age," Willow explained. "That having been said, the actual genetic risk if we had been siblings is a lot less than the flawed case studies and altered statistics would tell you."

"Also, it's really, really early to be talking about babies," Tara said, "we haven't even graduated from college yet."

Linda beamed. "That's my girl."

"We'll probably get more flack from there being three of us than we would from me and Xander being related," Willow said. "Of course, that supposes we're going to let the general public know and personally I like my private life, private."

"You will make an excellent daughter-in-law," Linda said.

"Mom!" Tara moaned.

"I like to tease, but I am being serious here," Linda said. "Xander and Willow will be excellent additions to the family."

"When we take over the world you are so getting your own country," Willow decided.

Tara buried her face in her hands.

"As bride prices go, that's not bad," Linda agreed. "I like sun, sand, and beaches, its why I live here."

"Tropical island paradise it is," Willow said.

"All jokes aside, birth control and STD prevention?" Linda asked.

"The pill and a committed relationship," Willow replied.

"A decent plan," Linda agreed. "How about the inevitable slip ups?"

"Regular testing and I got Xander a prescription for an anti-baldness medication that incidentally lowers male fertility," Willow explained.

"Nice," Linda said. "OK, you seem to have the physical bases covered. So, let's move onto the emotional. You do know that one of the most important things in a relationship is communication, right?"

"Trust me, we know," Willow said with a rueful grin.

"If we'd told Xander about us in the first place, there would have been a lot less problems, though I am very happy how things turned out," Tara said.

"It is nice when things work out, but generally that's regardless of problems like poor communication, not because of them," Linda warned. "Never expect the other person or persons to be mind-readers, tell them."

"Try and date mind-readers," Willow said with a nod, "got it."

Linda chuckled. "A bit late for that."

"Or I could alter those I am dating into mind-readers," Willow said thoughtfully.

"Good luck with that," Linda replied.

"The hard part isn't inserting foreign genes, its finding someone with the genes you want to insert," Willow said seriously.

"I can't tell if you're kidding or not," Tara admitted.

Willow just grinned.

"Let's go to the shop, I have teaching aides there," Linda said with a grin.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Xander could sense someone watching him as he cleaned up. He closed his eyes and concentrated on his surroundings while he washed his face. It only took a second for his spider-sense to kick in and he could 'see'... 'Marcie?'

He looked in the mirror and the room looked empty, but he could 'see' the naked girl behind him. Before he could decide what to do she left.

He recalled Marcie turning invisible in his first life and what had happened, but she'd always been dressed, the clothes she was wearing becoming invisible as well. What had changed? And why hadn't he heard of any of the popular kids having accidents?

That thought stuck with him until his final class for the day when they were taking roll.

"Ross, Marcie," the teacher called out.

"Present."

Xander froze for a moment before carefully glancing to the side and seeing a completely visible Marcie Ross sitting in class, plain as day.

Reaching out with his spidey-sense, he 'looked' at her face and confirmed it was the same girl who'd been lurking naked in the boy's locker room, his eyes weren't lying to him. She looked pretty content too, not in the least unhappy. Could she control it? That would explain why she didn't look unhappy, but why was she naked in the boys locker room...

'Yeah, teenage boy with the ability to turn invisible would sneak into the girls locker room in a heartbeat, and probably sans clothes as well,' Xander admitted.

The world had changed for the better, but some of the old facets existed, just in new forms. 'Ones much less likely to cause death and destruction,' Xander thought happily.

He made a mental note to go over his memories of Sunnydale to check for possible problems in Sunnyvale, before turning his attention to the teacher and class.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Xander returned to the Mansion, but found it empty, so he stripped down to his boxers, did a few laps in the pool, checked the chlorine levels, and sprayed some bleach in the corners before heading up to the solarium.

Stepping into the solarium was like stepping into an oven and he absorbed the heat like a sponge, grabbing a coke from the wet bar and leaning back in a chair with his eyes closed. He could feel the water evaporate from his skin and hair as her sat there.

He halfway dozed off until the screech of a long disused portal being wrenched open and the hum of a high-tech weapon being readied filled his ears. His eyes snapped open and he quickly scanned his surroundings, instantly recognizing what was happening. "If you guys get in a stupid hero on hero fight in my solarium, I will sue your ass!"

Raven had teleported in carrying Beastboy and Cyborg, the three having barely arrived before a section of roof had creaked open and several costumed figures had dropped down, prompting their defensive response. Raven released the power she'd been calling up as Cyborg's sonic cannon powered down and Beastboy transformed back into a human from a gorilla.

Robin, Artemis, and Superboy had dropped down into the solarium and, having seen the stances of the other three, had instantly gotten ready to fight. Robin slid a couple of pellets into a pouch on his belt while Artemis lowered her bow, Superboy straightened up from a fighting crouch and then began to smile as the feel of the solarium hit him.

"Everyone grab a chair," Xander suggested.

"Sorry," Beastboy apologized, "didn't know the others were going to show up."

"Likewise," Robin agreed.

Aqualad and Miss Martian floated down with Kid Flash.

Xander looked up, but the sky looked completely empty. "I know who most of you are and I assume you know each other, so let's jump to why you are all here."

"Recruitment," Beastboy said. "We run a team out of San Francisco. We are well funded and equipped, but just setting up."

"The same," Aqualad said, "however we are based out of the East Coast and backed by the Justice League. We have resources that they do not and ways around the commuting problem from here to there."

"How'd you track me down?" Xander asked while he considered their offers. He hadn't really expected anything like this to occur, he'd just gotten his powers and hadn't even used them in public that he recalled.

Beastboy gestured for the others to go first.

"A report of the car you were driving away from the bank cross-referenced with the traffic cams allowed us to pull up your driver's license," Robin explained.

"I followed your psychic impression from the bank to the hotel, identified your room by the magical traces left behind, and then Cyborg got your address from the credit card receipt," Raven explained.

"Solid work," Xander said. "So why do you want me?"

"We want all three of you," Aqualad said. "Batman saw the footage from the bank and believes you could use training and support."

"We are forming our team to counter an event in the future I foresaw. When I approached the Justice League for help they turned me down because of my origins," Raven explained, trying to play on his sympathies. "I think you and your friends could be a great help in saving the world."

"I'm sure the League had their reasons," Robin said, marshaling his thoughts for a good defense on a subject he hadn't gotten any real answers beyond 'Zatanna said so!'

"Doesn't mean they made the right decision," Xander said. "Everyone makes mistakes and the more power you have the bigger the mistakes. Did Batman say he wanted us to join or was he more concerned with getting us support and training?"

Aqualad and Robin exchanged glances before Aqualad said, "The latter."

"That makes things easier," Xander said, but before he could continue the door to the solarium opened, there was a flash of pink, a streak of yellow, and a thud as the door slammed shut and kid flash hit the floor.

The heroes leapt to their feet ready for action, Beastboy being the closest quickly grabbed Kid Flash and drug him to Raven while Cyborg covered the door with his sonic cannon.

The door opened a crack and Willow's voice came through, "Xander, can I speak to you for a moment?"

"He's fine, just a black eye," Raven announced.

Xander stood up. "Give me a moment." He stepped into the hall, closing the door behind himself.

"Ouch," Kid Flash said as Beastboy helped him up.

"What happened?" Artemis asked.

"Hot!" Kid Flash exclaimed with a big smile. "There were two of them and I went to say hi."

The door opened and Xander stepped back in. "The girls will be joining us in a moment, they didn't expect guests."

"Nude sunbathing," Artemis guessed.

"Something like that," Xander agreed.

"Why don't we sit around a table?" Robin suggested.

"Bit too many people for a table," Xander said.

"He wants you to hide your junk," Cyborg said, gesturing to Xander's waist.

Xander glanced down and saw he was now straining his boxers. "I'm male, deal," he said but moved behind the wet bar and started pulling out sodas. "Everyone grab a drink."

"Soooo... which girl are you dating?" Kid Flash asked, grabbing a coke.

"Both of them are dating someone," Xander replied.

"And you?" Artemis asked curiously, grabbing a Sprite.

"Also taken," Xander answered.

"She moved fast," Beastboy said, "fast enough to tag Kid Flash in the eye. Speedster like you?"

"I don't think I'm a speedster and Kid Flash was distracted," Xander said.

"Very distracted," Kid Flash admitted.

"Pretend you saw nothing," Xander suggested, "trust me when I say that upsetting either of them is bad for your health and god forbid you should actually hurt their feelings."

"I'm not that kinda guy," Kid Flash defended himself, "at least I try not to be, just I tend to act faster than I think."

"I know, that's why I am giving you fair warnings in advance," Xander assured him, "if you were a dick I wouldn't bother."

"Thanks," Kid Flash said gratefully.

"The door to the solarium opened and Willow entered with Tara right behind her, both fully dressed. "Xander," Willow said, smiling in relief at the sight of him as they quickly joined him behind the bar.

Xander gave both of them a hug to help steady their nerves and realized he really should be geeking out himself about meeting all the superheroes, but the heat and the sun was making him feel pretty mellow. It was entirely possible he was part lizard, possibly a dragon, he decided. "Half of them want to have us come in for training and make sure we have enough support not to turn to villainy while the other half is forming a team in San Francisco to fight a major event that has been prophesied," he explained.

"So, we train with one and join the other?" Willow asked with a worried frown.

"Even if I want to join, we don't have to," Xander pointed out, "I know you two aren't exactly the front-line type and don't like violence. Heroes also need a lot of support. Someone has to man the comms and bless the water. At the very least I would suggest getting some training."

"Are you trying to encourage us to join or dissuade us?" Willow asked, biting her lip.

"Neither," Xander said, "I am suggesting that learning is never a bad thing and this is the sort of decision that you shouldn't rush."

"So... try and take a good look at the life before making any decisions?" Tara asked, sounding relieved.

"Exactly," Xander said. "We give it a fair shot and see how well it fits."

"And if we decide it's too dangerous?" Willow asked cautiously.

"We retire to a tropical island paradise and have a dozen kids," Xander replied looking in her eyes. "Where we go, we go together."

Willow was instantly cheerful and relaxed. "You're just saying that, so I'll loosen the ropes."

Xander grinned back. "Did you ever notice how everything sounds like 'I love you' through duct tape?" He turned to Tara, taking in her mood at a glance, and gave her a hug, Willow joining in almost instantly.

"So long as you want to be, you are included," Willow assured her.

"All for one and one for all," Xander said.

"You guys are a tad overwhelming at times," Tara admitted.

"But you love us anyway," Willow teased.

"Goddess help me, I do," Tara said, closing her eyes and luxuriating in their touch.

"They've completely forgotten we're here," Raven said, startling the three.

"Sorry about that," Xander said, making no move to release the girls. "I believe the decision is that we'd come for training with the Junior Justice League and see how well we fit with the San Fran team, before making any major commitments."

"That does fulfill our mission requirements," Aqualad admitted.

"Plus we can work on charming them onto our team later," Artemis said.

"You're even welcome to come to San Francisco and try," Cyborg assured her. "Green Arrow passes through on occasion and he does good work, so we'd love to have you."

"Thanks," Artemis said with a bright smile.

"No, ours!" Kid Flash said zipping across the room to hold the female archer possessively.

"Let me go," she growled out, but couldn't completely stop the slight blush she was wearing.

"Let's go down to the pool before someone dies of heat stroke," Willow suggested gesturing to the heroes.

Xander noticed that several of them were sweating heavily and shook his head. "Sorry guys, I should have noticed, but this place was practically designed for me."

"Not just you," Beastboy noted as Superboy had stripped to his pants and was stretched out between two chairs, asleep.

"Kryptonians," Kid Flash said with a shrug.

 **TYPING BY: Lohoydo**

 **TN: Anyone else notice that heroes often break just as many laws as villains? In this instance, we have (possibly) a few crimes related to the tracking, especially getting the information from the hotel, but definitely trespass / B &E just showing up in the solarium like that.**


	12. Chapter 12

"Nice," Beastboy said as they entered the pool area and looked around. "Very old timey."

"You can not get tile like that anymore," Cyborg said.

"What type of lights are those?" Robin asked examining the ceiling.

"No idea," Xander replied, "I just know I haven't had to replace a bulb yet."

"Why is most of the house mothballed?" Artemis asked.

"We don't use most of it," Willow replied, gesturing for Xander and Tara to sit on a bench.

Xander sat on one end of the bench and Willow at the other so they could each put an arm around Tara. "Grab a seat and lets start with the introductions," he suggested.

"I'm Beastboy," the green skinned teen in the purple skintight costume said. "I'm a shapeshifter. I can take the form of any animal in the world."

"I'm Cyborg," the dark skinned man who wore a white leather outfit said. All four of his limbs were made out of a polished chrome alloy, along with nearly half of his skull, a glowing red optic replacing his left eye. "Not the most imaginative of names, but it's both my name and my power."

"Raven," the dark haired teen in the deep blue cloak said, opening it and pulling back her hood to reveal an attractive if pale girl with a gem in the center of her forehead, wearing a black leotard and blue boots that left her limbs bare. "Mystically powered psionic abilities which include healing."

"Nice," Willow said, though Xander wasn't sure whether she meant Raven's powers or legs.

"Agreed," Xander said encompassing both. Willow's grin made him sure she'd caught his meaning.

Raven's cloak moved to cover her legs on its own as she blushed.

"Robin," the Boy Wonder said, knowing everyone was aware of the legacy of his name and costume. "I'm the third to bear the name and my senior partner is Batman. No powers, just a whole lot of training."

"Kid Flash," the red head in the yellow costume with the red accents said, gesturing to the white circle on his chest that was split with a red lightning bolt. "My unc- I mean senior partner, is The Flash, and I'm one of the fastest people alive." His stomach growled making him blush.

"There is an extra box of Twinkies on top of the fridge and feel free to grab a half dozen bananas," Xander said.

"That was generous of you," Willow said, as Kid Flash vanished in a blur of speed.

"Accelerated metabolism," Xander replied as Kid Flash reappeared with the food, "meaning he needs enormous amounts of calories and potassium."

"You ain't just whistling Dixie," Cyborg agreed. "Of course even with the amount he eats it can't possibly fuel his metabolism the way it seems to."

"Powers are strange," Xander said.

"Thanks," Kid Flash said gratefully, trying to be polite and eat at a normal teenage pace.

"I am Aqualad," the dark skinned young man with the blond hair introduced himself. He wore a red armless and possibly armored, top of some kind of scaled material over dark leather pants. His arms were covered in eel designs composed of some form of mystic script, probably Atlantean. "I serve under my liege, King Orin. I am an Atlantean with all that brings and have the ability to control water and use magic."

"Artemis," the blonde in the green leather with the bare midriff announced. "My senior is Green Arrow and like Robin, my skills come from a butt load of training." She patted the bow she had slung over her back.

"Superboy," the dark haired young man in Levis and a black t-shirt with a superman logo said. "I'm Kryptonian."

After a few seconds of awkward silence the red-haired green-skinned girl introduced herself. "I am Miss Martian, my senior is my Uncle J'onn or Martian Manhunter. I am a Martian. I can shape shift and have telekenetic and telepathic abilities in addition to my physical skills. I can not phase yet, but I am working on it."

"I go by Xander," he introduced himself, "I have a sort of radar sense and can cling to walls, I'm likely physically enhanced, but I just got my abilities Friday and haven't had a chance to test any of them."

"Tara," the shy blonde offered. "I have a little skill with magic, but I'm just a novice. Really I'm just a schoolgirl."

The twins squeezed her and assured her she wasn't 'just' anything, kissing her several times and leaving her breathless and blushing.

"Willow," she introduced herself, "dating Miss 'Just' a Schoolgirl."

"We saw the bank video, 'just' doesn't describe any of you," Robin assured her. "So, in addition to training we have to do testing to see what your powers are?"

"Finding the source of them would also help," Willow said.

"Mine are a family thing," Tara offered. "I don't need testing."

"DNA testing should give us some answers," Willow said. "The Justice League should have a pretty good database on metahumans and aliens."

"You name isn't Willamina?" Kid Flash asked.

"No," Willow said with a grin. "Xander used the wrong first name to let me know I was to act like someone else."

"Harmony Chase?" Robin asked.

"Harmony is stupidly gullible," Willow said.

"And Chase is evil with great breasts or violent and affectionate," Xander explained.

"It all adds up to 'act like a gullible crazy bitch'," Willow explained.

"For an off the cuff plan, that was brilliant," Robin said.

"Thanks," the twins chorused.

"When should we pick you up or are you free now?" Aqualad asked.

"It'll have to wait till tomorrow," Willow said, "we have school and haven't even started on our homework yet."

"How did your Mom take things?" Xander asked Tara.

"Suspiciously well," Tara said. "I'll tell you more later."

"We have homework from her too," Willow said.

"You guys are still in school?" Kid Flash asked.

"Sophomore, high school," Willow confirmed. "Our parents want us to stay with people our own age for psychological reasons."

"Aren't you eighteen?" Robin asked Xander.

"Alexander Parker is," Xander said cheerfully. "There are any number of activities that you're blocked from if you're under eighteen and personally... I've got shit to do."

Robin pulled a hand held from his belt and blitzed though a number of checks. "This... is an annoyingly thorough cover identity."

"Thanks," Willow said.

"We only found your cover ID?" Cyborg asked surprised.

"And our safe house," Willow confirmed. "I'll warn you now though, it's best not to go searching for -"

"Ahh!" Cyborg screamed before slamming both hands over his mouth and looking nauseous.

"Wireless connection?" Willow guessed. "Yeah, as I was saying I would not suggest trying to invade our privacy by searching for our secret IDs."

"Unless you want us to do the same to you," Xander offered.

"What did you do to him?" Beastboy asked, wide eyed as Raven tried to comfort their teammate.

"Booby-trapped some public records," Willow replied.

"Horrible!" Cyborg exclaimed shuddering.

"Virus that makes them connect to certain web searches?" Xander guessed.

"Girl on girl action with insufficient table ware," Willow confirmed.

Xander shivered. "Cruel but fair."

Kid Flash appeared next to Robin, preventing him from typing. "Dude, no."

Robin turned to look at shivering Cyborg. "OK, point taken, but you know how my curiosity is."

"Just wait until you are somewhere you have a bucket available to puke in," Xander suggested.

"Trying to find our secret IDs is a clear invasion of privacy," Willow defended her actions.

"That reminds me," Xander said, "invisibility and shower rooms."

"Later topic?" Willow asked.

"Moral quandary," Xander agreed.

"What?" Miss Martian asked instinctively reaching for their minds and catching a glimpse of the three in the shower before being pushed out. "Sorry!"

"So, that's what telepathy feels like," Willow said surprised.

"Megan!" Artemis chastised her.

Tara turned to Willow a question in her eyes, but not quite willing to voice it. Willow seemed to get it anyway and shook her head. "Genetic compatibility would be a problem, I'm looking for a human telepath to snag a sample from."

"For a second I felt both your minds," Xander said with a smile. "That was amazing!"

"You need pants," Robin complained again.

Xander glanced down. "Yeah, emotional closeness affects me that way and I normally don't meet people in just my boxers," he said, reminding them they had shown up unannounced.

Tara noticed several sets of eyes glancing at Xander's bulge and moved over, sitting on his lap. "Mine," she said possessively, then blushed bright red as she realized what she'd done.

Willow scooted over next to Xander and pulled Tara's legs over her own lap. "You are so cute when you're possessive."

Tara buried her face in Xander's chest.

"Moral quandary?" Beastboy said, changing the subject to give Tara a chance to recover.

"Theoretical events," Xander explained. "We like to figure out unlikely scenarios and what we should do if they occur."

"Invisibility and shower rooms?" Kid Flash added curiously.

"Sorry for peeking," Miss Martian repeated, "but it is a subject I am curious about."

"Have you been invisibly watching us shower?" Superboy asked, surprised.

"No, but some of the earth movies I have seen seem to suggest that it is an acceptable pastime and I find myself curious," Megan admitted openly.

"Shapeshifters don't have nudity taboos," Willow guessed.

"Not really," Megan agreed. "I am unsure of the morality of it as I know movies don't always reflect reality."

"Depends on the people involved," Xander offered. "Some people don't mind, some are shy, and some really enjoy the idea."

"And some have jealous girlfriends," Willow offered amused.

"There's really no harm in looking," Tara said, "as long as no touching is allowed."

"What if she's touching herself?" Xander asked.

"I wouldn't!" Megan exclaimed, blushing purple.

"I kinda assumed she'd be doing that," Willow said. "Bit of a waste otherwise."

"It may be simpler for you to take a shower with me," Superboy told Miss Martian.

"We are incredibly far off topic," Aqualad noted.

"Right," Robin said with a firm nod. "It's been nice meeting the three of you, we'll pick you up here an hour after the local high school lets out." He got up, prompting the rest of the heroes to do the same.

"I'll help you with your homework," Cyborg offered. "I am a wiz at the hard sciences."

"I got English and history down," Beastboy added.

"Unless you have homework involving mystical practices I'm afraid I'll be of little help," Raven admitted.

"We actually do have some," Willow said as the three got up to see their guests off.

"Seriously?" Aqualad asked. "I was unaware surface schools assigned such work."

"My mom assigned it," Tara said as they climbed the stairs.

"You are part of a magical tradition?" Raven asked curiously.

"Magic runs in my family, but it's not powerful it just... is," Tara explained.

Raven nodded. "I understand."

"I love this room," Superboy said, as they re-entered the solarium and most of them flinched back from the wave of heat that rolled over them.

"I didn't even know you could open that," Xander said, gesturing to the open section of roof.

"It has handles and everything," Superboy told him. "Also tie down points. I think it was supposed to let you moor some type of dirigible or hot air balloon."

"That doesn't surprise me," Xander said. "The rich eccentric guy who made this place went all out. I'm surprised I haven't found a secret lair under it."

"We haven't exactly looked for one," Willow pointed out.

"Put it on our to-do list," Xander said.

"It was nice meeting you all, see ya tomorrow," Kid Flash said as they gathered beneath the opening.

"It was nice meeting you too, sorry about the eye," Willow said.

"Totally worth it," he assured her.

"Kid Flash!" Artemis groaned as Miss Martian floated them up into the air.

"Thanks," Willow called out while Tara blushed bright red.

Xander narrowed his eyes. "There's a ship up there," he realized, 'seeing' the shape of it with his spidey-sense before an iris opened and allowed them entrance to an organic looking interior and the roof hatch closed blocking his 'sight'.

"It's alive," Raven noted.

"Probably Martian," Willow guessed.

"I'll spring for pizza and we can get started on your homework," Cyborg suggested.

"Is there a room that isn't an oven for that?" Beastboy requested hopefully.

"We've got several studies," Xander replied, "but let me put on some pants first."

"Aww," Tara and Willow chorused before laughing as they realized they'd both been about to tease him.

"Work before fun," Xander said giving a little over the top shake of his rear at them before heading for the bedroom.

"How did you three end up together, if you don't mind me asking," Cyborg said, as the girls lead them to the second floor.

"Accident and miscommunication," Willow replied. "Are you telepathic?" she asked Raven.

"Not one of my stronger skills, but I am," Raven replied, "why?"

"Because if I can get a good sized sample of human telepath DNA to play with I can take care of that pesky 'communication problem' thing that can happen in relationships," Willow explained.

"Seriously?" Cyborg asked in disbelief.

"An ounce of prevention," Willow said, waving a finger in his direction.

Tara shook her head. "Pretty sure that's not the part he was surprised about."

"One of my parents is non-human and the other is from a branch of humanity that emigrated from this plane a few millennia ago," Raven offered.

"Meaning there would probably be some serious compatibility problems," Willow said as she lead them into a large room filled with bookcases, having a large blackboard covering one wall and medical diagrams at least half a century old on the other.

"Looks like a doctor's place," Beastboy noted, examining a hanging skeleton.

"Wonder what these symbols mean," Cyborg said as he examined a chalkboard filled with complex formulae

"They're alchemical symbols," Raven noted curiously. "It's a formula to create some sort of alkaline based pill I think."

"Everybody ready?" Xander asked, carrying several backpacks and fully dressed once more.

"Now that you brought our books," Willow said. "I thought I'd have to ask you to go get them once you got back."

"Too lazy to get them yourself?" Xander teased.

"One of the joys of having a boyfriend is sending him to fetch things," Willow teased.

"Sounds a bit unfair," Xander mock pouted. "The joys of having a girlfriend better have some impressive perks."

"I think I read an article about that," Tara said, trying to recall. "Something about... steak sandwiches and blowjobs?"

Xander perked up. "Then again, fetching and carrying is good exercise!"

Willow burst out laughing.

"Let's get to the homework," Cyborg said, while Beastboy grinned and Raven blushed.

"Steak sandwiches can wait," Xander agreed, giving a blushing Tara a kiss on the forehead, before taking out his books, "homework waits for no man nor woman."

 **Typing by: Lohoydo**


	13. Chapter 13

"Any luck?" Kid Flash asked Robin.

"No, and that warning about having a bucket nearby was a good one," the Boy Wonder admitted.

"Seriously?"

"I couldn't disable the videos and speeding them up only made it worse in some ways," Robin said with a shudder.

"I meant about having no luck," Kid Flash said.

"I found a second set of fake IDs which were definitely set up just to gloat," Robin said, shaking his head. "Siblings from just a few months apart to underline how fake the IDs were."

Kid Flash laughed. "Yeah, they definitely aren't siblings."

"Those IDs are even more complete than the Alexander Parker one, with other clues tossed in like them both being kicked out of the Boy Scouts and currently being members of the Girl Scouts," Robin said with a grin.

"At least they have a sense of humor," Kid Flash said.

"They definitely have that," Robin agreed. "You know, I've never met three people together like that before."

"He's my new idol," Kid Flash joked, getting a laugh out of Robin.

"Temp Guest One, Temp Guest Two, Temp Guest Three," the Zeta tubes announced the arrival of the three they were just talking about.

Miss Martian and Artemis joined the pair as they waited for the new arrivals.

"OK, that was strange," Willow said.

"It was like the universe was converted to energy and moved around me," Tara offered.

"Not so exciting on my end," Xander said, "I simply felt like I was pop rocks dropped into a glass of Seven-Up."

"I always feel like I'm just about to phase through an object," Miss Martian offered.

"Most of us don't feel anything," Robin said, "and welcome to Mount Justice."

"Thanks," Xander said. "Where's the lab or gym we're doing this at?"

"It's all right here," Green Arrow said cheerfully as he waved an arm towards the mostly empty cavern, entering from the kitchen with Superboy and Black Canary.

"Built into the walls and floor?" Willow guessed.

"She's good," Black Canary said with a smile.

"Modular designs allow for a lot of options, or so they tell me," Green Arrow replied with a shrug. "So, who are we testing first?"

"Xander," the two girls chorused.

"I have super powers, Tara has magic, and Willow has good taste in lovers," Xander teased.

"Damn straight," Willow agreed, "now get all sweaty so we can ogle you!"

"Let's start with strength," Black Canary suggested as the cavern configured itself into a weight room.

"Are those really a ton apiece?" Tara asked as she saw what looked to be normal looking weights except for the weight listed.

"It's a measurement of the pull the electromagnet under the bench exerts on them," Black Canary explained. "It's safer and makes storage easier."

"If you'd care to take the bench, we'll have Superboy spot you," Green Arrow said.

The teen girls exchanged grins as they chose a small table with a good view of the two boys, both of whom took of their shirts as they got into position.

"You should hit them with solar lamps," Artemis suggested, wanting to have better lighting on the pair.

Green Arrow shrugged and gestured, a bank of solar panels lighting up and causing the two boys to sigh in pleasure. "Are you Kryptonian?"

Xander chuckled. "Nope, but I really enjoy the heat."

"Medical tests can be done later, concentrate on the physical tests for now," Black Canary said.

"How many tons do you want to start with?" Superboy asked.

Xander frowned. "I might have enhanced strength… but I haven't checked. We should probably start at normal human levels and work our way up."

"We can turn the dial down," Black Canary said. "Load him up with two of the one-ton weights, without electromagnets they're around thirty pounds each."

Superboy grabbed a pair of weights and slid them on the bar, shooting her a glance before very carefully lifting the bar and making sure Xander could support and move it before letting go.

"Easy," Xander said.

"Two more on each side please," Black Canary told Superboy.

He nodded and put on the weights, still being excessively careful.

"Six tons, not bad," Black Canary noted.

"What?" Xander asked, freezing with the bar half way down.

"You are benching six tons," Superboy said as if discussing the weather.

"You thought I might have a mental block?" Xander asked.

Black Canary shrugged. "It's a fast way to get you past it if you had one and a safe test with Superboy here."

"Bit of a dick move," Xander noted.

"But a well meaning dick move," Green Arrow said cheerfully, making Xander laugh.

"Scale of one to ten, how hard are you working to press six tons?" Black Canary asked.

"A two?" Xander guessed.

"Give him thirty tons and see how he does," Black Canary told Superboy.

Superboy loaded the bar with several heavier weights and waited until Xander signaled he had it before releasing.

Xander slowly benched the bar without showing any strain.

"How's it feel on the scale?" Canary asked.

"Still at two," Xander said thoughtfully.

"How's that work?" Green Arrow asked curiously.

"Picking up a TV remote and a couch cushion are about the same," Superboy offered, "no strain."

"What would you rate thirty tons at?" Green Arrow asked Superboy.

"The same," he said.

"Meaning we have no weight gear on hand that can properly test you," Black Canary noted.

"Arm wrestle?" Superboy offered.

"Oil wrestle!" one, possibly two, of the girls watching yelled out.

"Only if you all will do the same," Xander told the four, getting a couple of blushes and some thoughtful looks.

Xander got off the bench and it vanished into the floor with all the weights, a heavy-duty table and two chairs rising up to replace them. He slid into his seat, but Superboy simply stood there, obviously lost in thought.

"Superboy?" Green Arrow said with a snicker, knowing where the young man's mind was.

Superboy blinked and shook his head, quickly sitting across from Xander and getting in position to arm wrestle.

"Five on Superboy," Kid Flash said.

"Sucker bet," Robin replied.

"Pretty much," Xander agreed.

"IF you win, I'll do that thing you like," Willow teased.

"Which thing?" Tara asked.

Willow shrugged. "Any of them."

"If you win, I will do something you enjoy," Miss Martian told Superboy.

Green Arrow grinned. "Now that's proper motivation to give it your all. Ready? On three. One… Two… Three!"

The table creaked as the two young men began applying more and more pressure, slowly ramping up their strength, hands not moving an inch from their starting positions.

It was nearly half a minute later when Xander admitted, "I'm near my limit." Sweat beaded on his brow.

"I've got a bit more to give," Superboy said.

"Alright," Xander said, "you win."

The pair slowly relaxed, making sure not to suddenly stop pushing as one of them would have gone flying.

Superboy wiped his forehead. "You're strong."

"Near Kryptonian level strength," Robin noted, "nothing to sneeze at."

"Tough luck, dude," Kid Flash said companionably. "You almost won the jackpot there." He gestured towards Willow with his head.

"You shouldn't refer to women as prizes," Black Canary chided him, amused.

"As long as I'm referred to as the jackpot or grand prize, I'm OK with it," Willow assured him.

"Oh well, I guess I'll just have to do something she likes to make up for it," Xander said.

"I'll help," Tara offered, before realizing what she said.

"God save me from hormonal teens," Black Canary said, shaking her head.

"He reminds me of a young me," Green Arrow said as Tara and Willow checked Xander to make sure he hadn't strained anything.

"Oh really?" Black Canary asked, giving him a look.

Green Arrow snatched an arrow out of his quiver and tossed it to her. "Catch!"

Black Canary caught the arrow and stared at it. "What do I do with this?"

 ***POOF***

The arrow turned into a dozen roses and a cloud of green smoke surrounded the archer. When the smoke had cleared, he was gone.

Black Canary just stared at the roses in her hand and glanced at the place he'd been standing. "I'm not even mad, I'm actually impressed."

Red Tornado flew down from a tunnel in the cavern roof. "The Terror Twins are robbing a bank, are you ready to deploy?"

Superboy grabbed his shirt and put it back on, Xander doing the same.

"Wanna see us in action?" Kid Flash asked.

"It's dangerous and they have no training," Robin pointed out.

Kid Flash waved it off. "So, they hang back and watch from a safe distance. They can watch from the ship."

"Or get some experience helping," Superboy suggested. "You up for it?" he challenged Xander.

Xander grinned. "Sounds like fun."

"If this is going to turn into a dick measuring contest, I call dibs on holding the ruler," Artemis teased, shocking Tara and Miss Martian, while making Willow laugh at the blushes the boys suddenly sported.

"Male bonding should never be done around women," Xander told Superboy solemnly.

"Agreed."

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"The Terror Twins are Tommy and Tuppence Terror," Robin reported enroute.

"Below our strength level, but not by enough to make taking them down easy," Superboy added.

"Eerily good at escape," Kid Flash said.

"They act more hostile than they actually are," Miss Martian offered. "I don't understand humans enough to say why."

"It's a defensive strategy," Tara offered, "show a tough face to the world to keep people from seeking to use you."

"With their strength?" Kid Flash asked doubtfully.

"Doesn't matter how powerful you are, everyone has a weakness," Willow said. "Alienating people prevents them from making friends that can be used against them or allowing people to get close enough to discover their weakness."

"Plus, brains tend to trump brawn," Xander explained.

"Point," Robin said with a smirk.

"They are mainly brawlers who cause a lot of collateral damage," Superboy said. "You in?"

"He hasn't had any training," Artemis reminded him.

"This _is_ training," Superboy said with a shrug.

"He doesn't have a costume," Robin pointed out.

Tara saw the disappointed look in Xander's eye and ran her fingers through his hair while whispering something under her breath. "There," she said, "now no one will recognize you."

Willow tilted her head as she examined Xander. "You look good as a red head."

Robin held out a small mirror for Xander, who examined his reflection and grinned. "At least now we look like proper twins."

Robin snorted and Kid Flash laughed.

"Got a fetish for twins?" Xander teased Tara, pulling her onto his lap.

"Just about you two," she teased back, earning a grin and a kiss from both of them.

"I can't believe you made your back up fake ID, siblings," Robin said, "with enough errors, to show it was fake."

"I can't believe you have a backup fake ID," Kid Flash offered.

The trio exchanged glances, with only Miss Martian catching their mental conversation, and deciding to roll with it.

"Most people don't check the details," Willow admitted, "they simply hit the major points and accept it as real."

"Well, you'll be happy to know I can't find a trace of your real ID," Robin offered. "You are beyond skilled."

"Thank you," Willow said.

"Is there any other changes you'd like made to disguise you?" Tara asked Xander.

"How about a shirt like Superboy so we can really confuse them?" Xander suggested.

Superboy nodded and smiled faintly. "It'll be nice to have a little brother."

"Hey," Xander said, "obviously I'm the older brother."

Superboy smirked. "And yet, still little."

"Did you X-Ray my pants?" Xander asked, surprised.

"Didn't need to, those boxers did not leave anything to the imagination," Robin said, making a face.

Artemis whipped out a ruler. "Is it time?" she asked with a grin.

"No!" Miss Martian exclaimed, protecting Superboy with her own body.

Robin smoothly slid into the pilot's seat, grinning at the laughter from the others.

 **Typing By: Abyssal Angel**

 **TN: Tara saw the disappointed look in Xander's eye and ran her fingers through her hair while whispering something under her breath. "There," she said. "Now no one will recognize you."**

 **I have to admit when I typed that line, for a split second I thought we were going to getting a touch of Bayonetta thrown into this story. XD**


	14. Chapter 14

"Like this," Superboy said, leaping out of the open portal and falling to earth. He cratered the ground, as he landed on a single knee, punching the ground with his fist to help absorb the shock.

Xander copied him exactly, making Robin sigh.

"Someone is going to have to teach that guy some subtlety," Robin said, "because Superboy doesn't know the meaning of the word."

"Lighten up," Artemis said, "that is a classic superhero landing."

"Tell that to the people who have to repair the sidewalk," Robin said.

"They're probably grateful for the work," Willow said cheerfully as the Terror Twins, who had just left the bank, spun around dropping the bags of cash they'd been carrying.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

The Terror Twins were blond haired and blue-eyed teens, wearing matching outfits of red shorts and suspenders with white sleeveless t-shirts.

As the four squared off Xander had to ask, "Why a bare midriff?"

"What?" Tuppence asked with a southern twang.

"You are the second member of the cape set I have run into with a bare midriff and I'm just wondering why," Xander replied.

"Oh," Tuppence said. "Well, I could either go for a bare midriff or a low-cut top and I think low cut tops are kinda sleazy these days. Plus, I don't want my boobs popping out while I'm fighting."

"That makes perfect sense, thank you," Xander said.

"No problem," she replied, both falling back into a fighting stance.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Did he really just question her fashion sense in the middle of a fight?" Kid Flash asked.

"Before," Willow replied, "and if you don't ask questions you'll never get answers."

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Tuppence flew backwards, crashing through a wooden fence and into an empty construction site where they were tearing down a five-story building. Superboy followed her as Tommy managed a perfect hip throw when Superboy rushed him.

Xander nodded at Tommy and headed for Tuppence when Tommy said, "You better only be hitting her and not on her."

"What?" Xander asked, stopping in his tracks.

"I'm just saying," Tommy said, "you complimented her looks and showed you got some strength and that's a decent introduction, but I don't know you well enough to let you date my sister."

"I hear ya," Xander assured him, "and I'm already in a relationship, just being polite here."

"Good, I don't want some wanna be Casanova hurting my sister," he said.

Laughter rang out from the invisible Martian ship overhead.

"What's that?" Tommy asked, looking around.

"That would be my twin sister laughing at the idea of me as a Casanova anything," Xander replied.

"Twin? Why isn't she down here fighting?" Tommy asked as Tuppence tackled Superboy into the building.

"I got the body, she got the brains," Xander replied as they casually joined the two inside the base of the building.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"How'd he end up dating both of you if the idea of him being Casanova is that funny?" Kid Flash asked.

"All three of us are clumsy and shy," Willow replied, "we just kinda...stumbled into it."

"Oops, I fell on your dick?" Artemis joked.

"Kinda," Tara admitted, blushing as she remembered the first night they'd all three slept in the same bed.

"If he's that lucky, I'm going to make him buy me a lottery ticket," Kid Flash said, causing the girls to laugh.

"Should we be down there helping them?" Miss Martian asked.

There was a loud rumble as the five-story building started to crumble on the fighters. Before anyone could panic the rubble shifted and tons of brick and cement were shoved aside as the four pushed their way out.

"Grappling works better than punching, as you don't have to chase after them," Superboy suggested as he grabbed Tommy by the shoulders and headbutted him.

"Gotcha," Xander agreed, grabbing Tuppence's arm and swinging her into the ground.

Tommy threw himself backwards, eyes watering from the headbutt, slamming Superboy into the ground as he flipped him over his back.

Tuppence, not getting up slammed Xander into the ground by his arm and paused. "What's your name?"

"Alexander," Xander replied.

Superboy bounced to his feet as Tommy rolled over and got up. "Super hero name," Tommy said.

"I don't have one," Xander replied, releasing Tuppence's hand and shaking dirt off himself as he got to his feet.

"Someone will eventually give you one," Tommy encouraged him. "We went mainly by our own and it seems to work."

"Yeah, but our names are perfect for it," Tuppence said.

"Alexander the pretty damn good," Xander joked, making the twins grin and Superboy shake his head as they squared off again.

"Well, it's been nice meeting you, but we really must fly," Tommy said with a smile.

"No!" Superboy yelled and rushed forward, as the twins slammed their fists into the ground, causing a huge cloud of dust and dirt to fly up.

Xander had thrown an arm across his eyes and held his breath while Superboy coughed and waved his arms around futilely. He could 'see' the twins holding hands and standing completely still several feet away, but when the cloud dissipated his eyes showed no one but him and Superboy standing there.

"Dammit, they got away again!" Superboy complained. "I don't know how they do it, but they are experts at escaping."

Xander could 'see' them with his sixth sense, they were standing with their eyes closed and breathing very slowly. His knee-jerk reaction was to grab them, but they'd been pretty polite and hadn't hurt anyone, so he decided just to let them go. "I'm sure you'll run into them again," Xander said. "Still, this was a pretty good first time out; I got some experience fighting super strong fighters, foiled a bank robbery, and discovered I can now tank a few dozen tons of concrete falling on me."

Superboy blinked dust out of his eyes and considered that. "Good thing super strength comes with super toughness. I'd completely forgotten you hadn't even known you were super strong until about an hour ago."

"Do you guys have a giant bath at the Justice League junior clubhouse?" Xander asked, as the Martian ship landed next to them and extended a visible ramp while keeping the rest of the ship camouflaged.

"I think there is a Roman bath setting in the simulator, why?" Superboy asked.

"Ground in dirt and letting the girls check me for injury," Xander replied.

Willow leapt out at him, knowing he would catch her. "We are going to have to strip you naked and make sure you're unharmed," she informed him, from his arms.

Kid Flash appeared in a burst of wind. "Were you flirting with Tuppence?"

Willow laughed as she cuddled in Xander's arms.

"As my sister's response should tell you, I don't flirt," Xander replied, "I awkward. I wasn't awkward to her, so you can be sure I wasn't flirting."

Tara came down the ramp and looked Xander over to make sure he was unharmed. "I happen to like the way you flirt."

"That's because you are just as bad as we are," Willow told her, leaning over to give her a kiss.

"I would say we need to work on our flirting skills, but they fit our target demographic," Xander said.

The Terror Twins waited until the heroes had departed before releasing each other's hand and opening their eyes, visible once more.

"Shame he's taken, he wasn't half bad," Tuppence said.

"Better than your usual type," Tommy said, checking his pockets and coming up with a couple of rolls of hundreds.

Tuppence pulled a roll of fifties out of her back pocket. "And what's that supposed to mean?" she demanded as they headed away from the bank.

"I mean-" Tommy began, preparing for an old familiar argument.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"I can't believe you had a building dropped on you and didn't even bruise," Willow said.

"Pretty sure I bruised," Xander said, "I mean it hurt like it should have bruised, but the pain faded quickly."

"If we don't find any bruises I'm going to guess super healing," Willow said.

Tara groaned. "You can't just add super to everything, it's really lazy."

"Super lazy!" the twins chorused.

Once the laughter had died down Kid Flash asked, "So, is the bath house thing open invitation?"

"You've seen us naked, but we haven't seen you naked," Willow realized.

"I think I've seen shows of this type of cultural bonding," Miss Martian said, looking at Superboy.

"I did offer to let you shower with me," Superboy recalled.

"Atlantean culture has similar team building rituals," Aqualad offered.

Artemis smirked. "I'm liking this team thing more and more."

"I'm not taking off my mask," Robin said firmly.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"I'm so happy I'm a superhero!" Wally said, as he looked around the Roman bath.

"It does have its advantages," Xander agreed, as he and Willow bracketed Tara and enjoyed the heat.

"So, nudity is acceptable in this context?" Megan asked again, just to be sure, from her seat next to Superboy.

"While not normally part of American culture, nude mixed bathing is a part of a number of cultures around the world," Robin assured her, trying to act casual while looking everyone over, his actions mostly concealed by his mask.

"Hot tubs," Willow said smugly.

"OK, during the mid to late seventies and eighties nude hot tubbing was popular," Robin admitted

"Not bad," Artemis told Kid Flash as she looked him over.

Kid Flash flushed and sank a bit lower in the water, still smiling broadly. "Right back at ya."

"I've only ever taken showers," Superboy said, "this is nice."

"Not as hot as the volcanic vents I am used to, but very agreeable," Aqualad agreed.

"Wonder Woman," the zeta tubes announced, causing half the team to freeze up, concerned about how she would respond to seeing the cavern transformed into a Roman bath house and the entire team lounging around naked.

Wonder Woman's eyes widened in surprise for a moment before a smile blossomed on her face. "I'm happy to see you've found my bathing program. I was quite proud of making it, but between Batman's paranoia and Superman's shyness it never saw much use."

"We love it," Wally said quickly.

"Would you mind if I joined you?" Wonder Woman asked.

"We would be honored," Aqualad says finally.

"I love being a superhero," Kid flash says with tears in his eyes.

 **Typing by: hawfeld**


	15. Chapter 15

"May I?" Xander asked, sliding next to Diana.

She cocked an eyebrow, wondering what he was asking.

"Ever since I found out your origin story, this one question has been bugging me," Xander explained. "I promise I'll only use the tip of one finger."

Everyone's eyes got wide except Diana's who just looked curious as Xander waited expectantly.

"Go ahead," Diana said, wanting to see what he was going to do.

Xander's hand disappeared below the water near her waist and Diana giggled a second later, a sound that was half surprised, half amused.

"Perfectly smooth," Xander said with a grin as he pulled his hand back. Seeing the shocked looks on the rest of the teens' faces, Xander realized he should explain himself. "Diana wasn't birthed like your average person," he reminded them, "she was birthed like an Olympian Goddess."

"And the finger check?" Wally asked.

"Belly button," Xander replied.

"But we can see her belly button," Willow pointed out, "it was obvious when she got in the bath."

"Yes, and some people have innies and some have outies depending on where the cord was cut," Xander explained, "but regardless, they all have a little misshapen lump where the flesh was only partially absorbed."

"And never having an umbilical cord, her's is perfectly smooth," Robin said in understanding.

"May I?" Diana asked Xander extending a hand.

"Be gentle," Xander said, fluttering his eyelashes coquettishly.

Diana smirked. "I promise… I'll only put the tip in."

Xander laughed so hard he slid under the water and she had to fish him out. "That was a good one," he said while wiping water off his face.

Diana checked his belly button and frowned. "Yours is smooth as well."

"Seriously?" Xander asked checking his. "Huh, that's strange."

"Maybe it's smooth in a certain percentage?" Megan offered, her race not having bellybuttons unless they wished it, being shapeshifters.

"Mine is smooth as well," Conner reported, "but then I am a clone so I wasn't carried in a womb."

"There was still an umbilical cord to feed you nutrients," Robin pointed out, having seen the files on how they'd grown Superboy when they'd hacked CADMUS' files.

"Any ideas?" Xander asked Willow.

"Actually, I know this one," Tara offered. "The subject has come up as part of my magical training."

"Lay it on us," Wally said, "if it's not some huge secret or anything."

"It's not a secret," she assured him. "The umbilical cord carries a combination of the DNA of the mother and child," Tara explained, "which provides just enough difference to prevent being fully absorbed afterwards. That tiny lump of flesh is a permanent connection to your mother, a piece of her that lives for your entire life, long after she is gone."

"So, created beings would not have that," Connor said sadly, causing Megan to hug him.

"So… are you a god or a clone?" Artemis asked Xander.

"That is a very good question," Xander admitted. "I was adopted, so… your guess is as good as mine."

"If I knew your real name I could do some digging for you," Robin offered innocently.

"Nice try," Xander said amused, "but no."

"I'd suggest having the League give you a complete physical," Diana said, "that should give you an idea of where you should start investigating."

"Could you be a CADMUS clone like me?" Conner asked, trying to hide the trace of hope in his voice.

"Xander's been with me my whole life," Willow said. "Has CADMUS been active that long?"

"No, it's been active less than a decade, however they have ways to implant memories, so it's still possible," Robin said, making a mental note to tell Batman in private of what they'd just discovered.

"We could compare scans," Xander told Conner. "It's possible we're related."

"I haven't had one done," Conner said.

"An oversight we should correct," Diana said.

"It'd just match Superman's," Conner said a bit bitterly.

"You're at a different stage of development and been exposed to vastly different levels of solar energy," Diana said, "not to mention the number of times Superman has been exposed to Kryptonite and other exotic elements."

"We'll compare charts," Xander told Conner.

"You're not worried?" Conner asked, his eyes darting over to the girls for a moment.

"About what?" Xander replied.

"About your whole life being a lie!" Wally exclaimed. "Sorry," he apologized, realizing he'd spoken without thinking and been too blunt and tactless.

Xander shook his head, quickly thinking of an excuse. "Nah, there are only two possibilities. Find out my life is exactly what I thought it was, or I find out it was a lie. If it's true, there's no change. If it's a lie… How me, Tara, and Willow got together is both too recent and too strange to be made up, so that won't change and that's the only part of my life that is irreplaceable. Hell, I may even get a brother out of the deal if it's a lie." Xander gestured towards Conner. "I literally can't lose."

Willow nudged Tara. "Hear that? We're irreplaceable."

"Yes, you both are," Tara agreed, pulling Xander back to their side. "And I can confirm my mind is untouched, otherwise my mom would have noticed when checking my astral shields."

"I could be an orphan with implanted memories meant to keep you under control," Willow told Xander thoughtfully. "What do you say to that?"

"A honey pot trap," Robin said with a nod. "I could see it as a possibility."

"You want to know what my response would be to finding out you are, in fact, a honey pot?" Xander asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Yes," Willow said earnestly.

Xander cleared his throat and did a spot on imitation of Winnie the Pooh, "Oh, bother," before kissing her passionately.

Tara giggled.

"How do you… keep so calm?" Conner asked, unable to comprehend Xander's non-reaction to everything.

"I have someone to love," Xander said seriously, sensing Conner needed a truthful answer. "Everything else is unimportant details."

"But what if you don't have anyone?" Robin asked.

Xander slid between Tara and Willow, pulling them close. "Then make sure to leave yourself open to the possibility and know that it'll happen eventually."

"You seem so sure," Robin said.

"It's the nature of the universe. There is no life without love or at least the possibility of it," Xander said, hoping he'd contributed that to the creation of the world if nothing else.

"You big goof," Willow said fondly.

Conner sighed. "I don't know if that'll work for me. I mean, I care, but I still get so angry sometimes. I was created for a purpose but I always feel like I'm not doing enough to reach it, like I'm not good enough."

"I'd suggest finding a telepath strong enough to remove the programming that pushes you then," Xander suggested.

"Programming?" Robin questioned.

"If they are implanting memories, it's only common sense that they'd implant programming to send you down the path they want you to go," Xander said. "The way Conner talks about his 'purpose' says programming to me."

"Megan?" Conner asked.

"I am not fully trained," she reminded him, "I'll get my uncle."

"That would be a good idea," Diana agreed. "We have been criminally neglectful in our care of you, and for that I must apologize."

"This is very uncharacteristic of the League," Robin said. "Why?"

"Why?" Wally repeated, wondering what Robin meant.

"What's the reason that the League dropped the ball?" Robin asked.

She sighed. "We had hoped that Kal would come to his senses and treat Conner properly, but that has failed to occur," Diana admitted.

"How's he been acting?" Willow asked.

"Like a dick," Wally said.

"He mostly just avoids him," Artemis offered.

"Some people just aren't cut out to be parents," Xander said, exchanging a sad smile with Willow as they thought about the Rosenbergs.

"But you are going to handle it now, right?" Tara asked Diana.

"Of course," Diana agreed, "you have my word on it."

"Just let me know when we're doing the tests," Xander said, "it should be interesting to find out what I am. I'm hoping it turns out I'm a god, possibly one with dominion over snack food."

Willow giggled. "If you are the god of snack foods then I'm going to claim dominion over computers."

"I knew the superhero life was crazy, but it's hard to believe we are having this conversation," Artemis said, shaking her head and drawing Wally's eyes to her breasts for a moment.

"I'm mostly joking," Xander assured her, "though that won't stop me from putting on a silly outfit and fighting crime while claiming I am one."

"Seriously?" Robin asked.

"Oh yeah," Xander assured him. "I will happily misdirect any villain as to the source of my powers and what my weaknesses are."

"That's sneaky," Artemis said with approval.

"So we are going to fight crime?" Willow asked.

"I probably am," Xander admitted, "but that doesn't mean you have to."

"I told you, were we go, we go together," Willow said firmly, lacing her fingers through his.

"I just meant I could handle the face punching parts of the job while you could make sure I punch the right faces and didn't do anything too boneheaded," he assured her. "There is a lot more to being a hero than just putting on a skimpy outfit and beating up jerks."

"Alright, just making sure," Willow said.

"So we need the training for all the detective work, but not the face punching?" Tara asked.

"Nah, you need that too," Xander said. "You never know when you might need to punch someone in the face, even in civilian life."

"You've got that right," Robin agreed, "You can never be too prepared."

"The Bat Clan Motto," Xander said.

"When are we supposed to be in San Francisco?" Tara asked, realizing time had gotten away from them.

"What time is it?" Xander asked.

"Four thirty," Robin replied.

"In half an hour," Willow replied.

"Guess that means it's time for us to go," Xander said reluctantly.

Batman said the Zeta Tube would be installed in a few days," Aqualad said, having listened closely to everyone but stayed silent until now, "are you still sure you wish to have it installed in your home?"

"It's our safe house," Willow reminded him, "our home is someplace else."

"Its fine," Xander said, "It'll be more convenient for you guys to come by and Conner can enjoy the Solarium."

"Really?" Conner asked with a smile, bad mood forgotten.

"Really," Xander assured him. "It'd be nice to have someone else around who can hang around for more than half an hour without getting heatstroke."

"Kryptonians," most of the teens muttered with a fond grin.

"I enjoy it too," Xander reminded them.

"That's just more evidence you are related to Conner," Wally said.

"See ya later, 'little' brother," Conner joked.

Xander laughed. "Later, bro."

Diana got out of the water to see them off. "It was very nice meeting you all." She offered her hand.

Xander glanced down at her hand and opened his arms for a hug, making sure to kiss both her cheeks. "It was very nice to meet you as well."

Willow and Tara quickly did the same.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"We got to hug and kiss a naked Wonder Woman," Tara said as the exited the alley where the Zeta Tube was hidden.

"Your birthday present is going to be huge this year," Willow told Xander.

"I have an idea about that," Xander said with a smirk.

"Yeah?" Willow asked.

Xander nodded. "I'm thinking… threesome."

"I feel like I came in at the wrong point of the conversation," Beastboy said as the girls laughed.

"What do you get the guy who has everything?" Xander asked.

"Threesome," Beastboy and Cyborg chorused.

"But aren't you already dating the two of them?" Raven asked.

"Yep," Xander agreed, while the girls giggled behind him.

"I'm not going to ask," Raven decided, turning around and heading for the limo, ignoring the disappointed awws from the group.

"My poor joke, dead before it's time," Xander said sadly.

"It was a good joke," Beastboy said solemnly, "cut down in its prime."

"I remember the day I first met that joke," Cyborg said with a sigh, "I thought to myself, 'Damn, now that is a fine joke!' I briefly thought I could make it mine, but I know when I'm out of my league."

The group got into the limo, three to a side in the spacious backseat with the Sunnydale group taking the rear facing seat.

"We should have a wake," Willow said, "its only proper."

"How long can you draw this out?" Raven asked in disbelief.

"I've got another five minutes of material at least," Xander said.

"Ditto," Beastboy offered.

"Seven and a half," Cyborg said proudly.

"Three, and that's mostly about burial instructions," Willow said.

Everyone turned to Tara.

"I was planning on grieving widow, muffling my laughter so it seemed like tears in Willow or Xander's shoulder," Tara admitted.

"We are going to work well together," Beastboy said with a grin.

"Improv comedy isn't exactly the same thing as handling the various emergencies that spring up around the city," Raven noted, "planning skills are a must."

"How are you guys at planning out responses to unusual situations?" Cyborg asked.

Xander and Willow exchanged grins while Tara burst out laughing.

 **Typing by: Abyssal Angel**


	16. Chapter 16

The Question strode into the meeting room where the Justice League's founders were handling the paperwork required to keep the League functioning.

"I've compiled a complete report on the three metas," The Question announced, drawing the League's leaders' attention away from their work.

"I thought only one was a meta and likely a clone," Wonder Woman said.

"A clone?" The Question asked intently. "Where did you come by your information?"

"I visited the Team recently and it came up in a discussion of belly buttons and their mystical components," Wonder Woman said, with a small smile, still finding the entire situation amusing.

"Mystical components?" Superman asked.

"The small bump of rough flesh in the bellybutton is there because it is your mother's flesh and thus can't be absorbed as the DNA differs from your own," Wonder Woman explained. "It's a small piece of her that will live on for your entire life."

She smiled broadly as they all instinctively placed a hand over their own bellybutton, thoughtful looks upon their faces.

"A created being, whether by man or god, does not possess that," she continued, "so their belly button is smooth. Myself, Connor, and Xander all possess smooth belly buttons."

"That seems so obvious in retrospect," The Flash said softly, still thinking of his mother.

"That does fit with my report," The Question said with a nod. "Presentation mode," he ordered the computer, causing the lights to dim and a large monitor to drop down from the ceiling.

"Project JANUS," The Question began, the screen displaying a series of government documents with locations and dates blacked out, "was started shortly after Superman started his career."

"Please tell me it wasn't an attempt to clone me," Superman begged.

"That was the original goal," The Question replied showing footage of people combing over the debris of some of his early battles and removing any possible samples of his genetic material left behind, "but it failed."

"Thank god," Superman said, bowing his head for a moment as if in prayer.

"Directly cloning you was far beyond the technology mankind had available," The Question continued as increasingly complex and expensive manifestos were displayed in rough order as the dates were blacked out. "However, they advanced genetic research by decades with what they developed."

"Proto-Cadmus?" Batman offered.

"More than likely," The Question agreed. "Now, being unable to clone Superman they started searching for any possible offspring you might have sired."

"What?" Superman asked shocked.

"You were young, hormonal, powerful," The Question listed off, "so they hoped you might have reacted like other men in your position have sometimes acted and had some casual flings with issue."

"Ma would kill me," Superman said flatly, making The Flash snicker. "I was raised to believe that sex is only acceptable within the confines of a committed relationship, preferably marriage."

"Much to the project supervisor's disappointment," The Question agreed. "While a young lady might often steal a kiss, you would allow it to go no further than that and all claims otherwise were investigated and dismissed. However, while searching for Kryptonian DNA along your path they did find traces from a… different survivor of Krypton."

"Another Kryptonian?" Superman asked in shock.

"From Krypton but not Kryptonian," The Question replied, the pictures changing to show large barefooted prints in the mud and hair samples being collected from various dens.

"Those are Bigfoot tracks," The Flash said. "Are you trying to say that not only is Bigfoot real, but that he's Kryptonian?"

"The DNA they retrieved had similarities to Superman's marking its source of origin as the same but the species as separate," The Question explained. "You can see why I thought this might be a prank on me."

"I'm a good prankster, but I'm not that good," The Flash said.

"The government used a disinformation campaign to make the idea of Bigfoot laughable to the general public and Bigfoot hunters the subject of ridicule," The Question said, showing pictures of soldiers faking tracks and planting ape hair. "Not being subjected to centuries of genetic manipulation, the DNA of Bigfoot was much easier to understand and work with."

"Go back one," Superman ordered as DNA scans were shown along with planned alterations.

"Back one," The Question ordered the computer, a picture of the unaltered DNA sample was shown on the monitor.

"Give me a download of that," Superman said, "I'll consult with the records in the fortress." He stood up.

The Question handed him a data stick. "It's all on there."

"Give me five minutes, please," Superman said before tapping his com. "Port to fortress." He vanished in a flash of light.

"So… Alexander is the clone of Bigfoot?" The Flash said.

"Some of his DNA was used," The Question replied," but they wanted more than a simple animal, no matter how powerful."

"Let's wait till Superman returns," Batman said, "what he discovers will impact how reliable the data is. The government could have planted this data to cover for something else."

"Cover ups within cover ups," The Question said with a sigh. "What I wouldn't give for just one completely accurate source."

"I love my lasso," Wonder Woman said, patting it like she would a pet, making The Flash laugh and The Question look at it with longing.

Superman appeared in a flash of light. "The DNA sample was verified by the fortress as belonging to a simian species that was used in early tests of a portal system."

"It's a Kryptonian monkey?" The Flash asked.

"It's closer to an ape analogue," Superman replied. "The science council cancelled the project after the full scope of its capabilities became apparent. My grandfather developed it to try and get around the council's ban on space travel."

"Well, now that the data has been verified, I'll continue," The Question said. "Bigfoot's DNA was much easier to work with, as I suspect Kryptonian DNA has been deliberately engineered to prevent tampering, while its DNA was not."

"I haven't checked, but it's likely," Superman agreed.

"Has anyone here heard of a Humanzee?" The Question asked.

"1920's Russian experiment to crossbreed humans and chimpanzees," Batman replied.

"And China in the mid 60's," The Question added.

"Why?" The Flash asked. "Why would they do that?!"

"Because," The Question replied.

After a few seconds of silence The Flash asked, "That's all you're going to say, 'because'?"

"Yes," The Question replied. "Now, having a near Kryptonian source of DNA they tried and failed many times to create a viable fetus by combining it with human DNA, but from each failure they came closer and closer to their goal."

A series of images were shown on the screen of developing fetuses looking indistinguishable from normal human ones.

"The human DNA used was taken from various US soldiers, as it was easy to procure and no questions would be asked. In the late stages of the project they started becoming more selective in which samples they used, wanting ones from donors who had not been exposed to the numerous chemical weapons that were in use, like Agent Orange," The Question explained with a heavy sigh.

"Is there a special significance to the human donor that was used to create Alexander?" Wonder Woman asked curiously.

"Yes," The Question admitted, stopping the flow of images on a single soldier.

"He looks familiar," Batman admitted.

"No way!" The Flash exclaimed, busting out laughing.

"Now you can see why I thought it was a prank at first," The Question said dryly.

"E.A. Presley?" Wonder Woman read off the soldier's uniform.

"I met him once or twice," Superman said, "he was a talented singer."

"How did they end up using Elvis Presley's DNA?" Batman asked.

"They needed a sample from a soldier who hadn't been on the front lines and while Elvis did join the military, they kept him out of combat," The Question explained, "so he was chosen. The fact that one of the researchers was a fan probably played a part, but that's not verifiable."

"So, Alexander is the son of Elvis and Bigfoot?" The Flash asked, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

"If I may continue," The Question said, not answering.

"Go on, I got it," The Flash assured him.

"The fetus was viable and shared a remarkable resistance to temperature variations," The Question continued, "which they demonstrated by freezing it in ice many times."

"That seems reckless," Batman said.

"I suspect it was discovered either by accident or because of sabotage," The Question said, "but as it was the only definitive example of success, they used it to prove their work while trying to perfect their technique to make more."

"A single superhuman soldier was never their goal, they wanted an army," Batman realized.

"Exactly," The Question agreed, "and the living frozen fetus insured they had the funding to reach that goal no matter how useful he would have been as a test subject."

"So why aren't we knee deep in super soldiers?" The Flash asked.

"Budget cuts," The Question replied. "General Lane was put in charge of the budget for anti-super technology and he didn't believe in their work, accusing them of being frauds. Alexander was several months old and demonstrated no superhuman powers, so he ordered it all shut down and the fetuses destroyed."

"But not Alexander?" Superman asked surprised.

"General Lane thought he was a normal baby, so he had him sent to an orphanage where he was adopted by a young Jewish couple who were having a hard time conceiving," The Question said.

"The Rosenbergs," Batman said.

"Sheila and Ira Rosenberg, who have been home for a total of eighteen days over the last eight months," The Question reported the screen showing the couple attending various symposiums and giving speeches at others.

"Left with no one but each other they took on the role of an adult couple rather than one of siblings," Wonder Woman said thoughtfully.

"They created an adult identity for Alexander to use to handle household affairs," The Question said, "Alexander Parker. Using their wits and the money their parents give them to run the household they have made a very tidy sum, which they use to fund their hobbies."

The pictures on the screen show the pair dressed as young boys in the boy scouts.

"Pretending to be twin brothers, Alex and Will were well on their way to become Eagle Scouts," The Question said, "until they were kicked out for creating a pebble bed nuclear reactor or rather the model of one. I suspect the local scout leaders were simply jealous of their potential."

"How old were they?" The Flash asked.

"Eleven," The Question replied.

"And they are both that smart?" The Flash asked, suspecting Willow was just following Xander who was giving her half of the credit.

"Alexander's IQ is actually a few points below Willow's," The Question replied. "The pair are close to the limit of what is considered normal in terms of IQ. And it's entirely possible they have downplayed their intelligence to get those results."

"The wiser ones always do," The Flash said.

"The pair have a variety of interests having taken courses in skydiving, horseback riding, arc welding… the list goes on and on," The Question said, pictures of various activities and classes flickering on the screen. "It reads like Mr Terrific's college extra curricular activities list."

"Given their intelligence that's understandable," Batman said. "Despite their unusual upbringing they have turned their intelligence to constructive pursuits."

"What's the story behind the mansion?" The Flash asked. "Kid Flash said it was like something out of Sherlock Holmes."

"Limited investigation makes it appear to be from one of Vandal Savage's past identities," The Question replied. "The property was owned by one Doc Savage decades past who just vanished one day, leaving a trust fund to deal with maintenance and taxes. When the fund ran out and it was to be sold for back taxes Vandal Savage went to bid on it, having sent word ahead to scare off potential buyers. However, a traffic accident delayed him and the Rosenbergs bought it for a song."

"I bet he wasn't happy with them," The Flash said.

"The property included a yacht, which Vandal Savage did take possession of later that day," The Question said. "The Rosenbergs kept the mansion and the taxes and closing costs were paid for in cash."

"A reasonable compromise," Batman noted. "Any further contact between them?"

"None I could find." The Question replied. "Tara Maclay is Homo Magus, but not of any great power or skill. Zatanna is friends with her mother so getting reliable information on her was much less difficult. She's a simple schoolgirl, albeit one with magical potential though a novice in the craft. The three accidently ended up dating according to the Team. The three consider themselves socially awkward, though I have seen little evidence of that… which may come from my own lack of skill in that area."

"Most teens think they are socially awkward," The Flash said waving it off, "that just means they're normal and have had no training on the subject, so they can't judge themselves accurately."

"Presentation mode off," The Question said, the monitor retracting and the lights returning to their previous level of brightness. "Any questions?"

"Yeah," The Flash said, "who is going to tell them Alexander is the love child of Bigfoot and Elvis?"

"I doubt we'll put it that way when we tell him," Batman said dryly.

"Why not?" The Flash asked. "It really is the best way to break the ice and make it seem a lot more… I just volunteered myself, didn't I?"

Even Batman smirked a little at that point.

The Martian Manhunter entered the room before The Flash could say anything. "We've finished our examination of Superboy. He is not a clone as we assumed. His DNA is half human and half-"

"Bigfoot?" Superman asked hopefully.

"Pardon?" J'ohnn replied confused.

 **Typing by: fyrewolf5**

 **TN: Isn't it usually Elvis that's an alien according to the tabloids?**

 **AN: Well, Xander did have a hand in creating the world and he has a weird sense of humor.**


	17. Chapter 17

"Bigfoot has turned out to be a Kryptonian ape analogue released on earth over a century ago," The Flash explained, "and was used by the government to create Alexander Parker."

"I see," J'onn said with a nod. "No, Superboy's DNA is primarily human and Kryptonian with Genomorph DNA being used to compensate for any incompatibility issues."

"He's… he's not a clone," Superman said in wonder, "he's my son!" Superman had been conflicted and unsure about how to handle Conner. Was he a younger brother, a son, a threat created to destroy him, was he even his own person or just an extension as if they were one being in two bodies? Nothing his parents had taught him had prepared him for dealing with this situation, but a son… That was something he could understand!

J'onn opened his mouth to explain chimeric cloning but stopped himself. "Correct," he said.

"Do we know who the mother is?" Superman asked, focusing his attention on J'onn.

"Actually, they combined your DNA with that of another male," J'onn explained. "We have not looked for the donor, but we can begin searching now, if you wish."

"I do," Superman said. "Meeting my co-parent may actually be less awkward this way."

"I wonder who they chose as the second father," Wonder Woman said thoughtfully.

"Lex Luthor," The Question replied instantly.

"Care to explain?" Batman asked.

"Simple deduction," The Question replied. "Luthor is involved in CADMUS and between his ego and… feelings for Superman, I have no doubt he'd insist on using his 'superior' DNA in the project."

"Feelings?" Superman asked looking confused. "I'm pretty sure he hates me."

"As has often been stated, there is a thin line between love and hate," The Question explained, "and Luthor has acted immaturely quite often where you are concerned, so it's entirely possible he is in a state of arrested development, or at least in regards to you."

"Meaning his attempts to kill Supes is similar to a boy pulling pigtails," The Flash realized.

"It's just a theory, but it fits the observable facts," The Question said.

"That… is disturbing," Superman said.

"He probably isn't even aware of it himself," The Question offered, "but the use of his DNA in the creation of Superboy would confirm it in my opinion."

"Should I run the test?" J'onn asked Superman.

Superman was silent for a moment as he tried to wrap his head around the idea that Lex Luthor behaved the way he did because of possible romantic feelings. He realized J'onn had spoken and gave a single silent nod.

"Suddenly speaking to Alexander about his parentage seems a whole lot easier," Flash said. "Try and let down Lex easy, okay? I don't know how badly he'd respond to straight up rejection."

The Flash vanished before Superman could respond, not that it looked like Superman was going to respond any time soon as he appeared frozen in place looking seriously disturbed.

"Kal, relax," Wonder Woman said placing a hand on his own, "it's only a theory."

"Albeit a quite disturbing one," J'onn said. "I'll go run those tests now."

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o**

"That can not be structurally sound," Willow said as she looked at the massive T shaped tower.

Cyborg smirked. "It's not, the arms of the T are hollow with some serious reinforcement on the section that connects to the top of the tower."

"Meaning it's designed to draw fire to a presumed weakness where it is in fact quite strong with the arms being used to make them waste their efforts destroying a tactically useless target," Willow realized.

"And it looks good too," Beast Boy said with a grin.

"How much have you built underground?" Xander asked as the small yacht pulled into the dock, the crew quickly tying up.

"What makes you think we've built underground?" Beast Boy asked.

"Best fallback position and since you have civilian workers, you'll need a safe place for them to take cover in case of emergencies," Xander replied. "I figure you've gone full fallout shelter, labs, and vaults down there."

"We have safe rooms in the tower and throughout the island," Cyborg said, along with a bunker able to house three times the amount of staff on hand for six months minimum."

"Water egress?" Willow asked as they crossed to the dock.

"Still in the design phase," Cyborg said. "Making it easy to get out, makes it easy to get in and the last thing we need is to make an escape route an assassin can use to sneak in."

"Ah, there's the rub," Willow said ruefully.

"How are you prepared for zombie apocalypse?" Xander asked.

"Same basic setup as robot monkey invasion," Beast Boy replied. "Most zerg rushes require the same defenses. Now, considering the different possible causes for a zombie apocalypse we have a morgue designed to keep corpses from breaking out as well as basically isolating them for destruction."

"Good man," Xander said with approval.

"I know of three wards to repel undead," Tara offered as they entered the building, before stopping to look around curiously.

"Bottom floor is designed to look like your typical office building," Cyborg said, gesturing to the security desk with a pair of large silver interlocked Ts behind it and a pair of guards who nodded towards them before returning to monitoring the surveillance system.

"Personal quarters are on the third floor in the middle of the tower as is the planning room," Cyborg said as they entered the elevator. "We have rooms prepared for you, all connected with each other and another room with an enormous bed."

"Everyone needs some alone time," Raven explained, "so personal rooms are necessary for when you spend the night."

The three prospective team members nodded after a moment of thought.

"Just had an idea," Xander said. "You're independent of the League, as they're being idiots at the moment, but you can probably have them install a zeta tube for emergency use and to make it convenient for the junior League members to visit."

"It'd make it easier for Rob to visit and to poach their team members," Beast Boy said thoughtfully, "as well as make it more convenient for you guys."

"Talk to Robin, I'm willing to bet he knows just what to say to convince Batman to put one in," Xander offered.

"I'll do that," Beast Boy said as the elevator opened into a comfortable looking room with several large couches and a mammoth TV. "Here's where we relax…"

"Cool," Willow said absently, as she spotted a row of cutting-edge computer terminals tucked off to one side as they entered, hands already itching to bring up the system specs.

"If you're trying to bribe us, you're doing an excellent job," Xander said with a grin.

"The library has as complete a collection of magical tomes as we could find," Raven told Tara.

"Really?" Tara asked, a bit of excitement leaking into her voice.

"A really excellent job," Xander told Beast Boy as Willow followed Cyborg, who was eager to show off their computer system and Raven lured Tara off to their magical library.

"Super Mario Brothers Three on a life size screen?" Beast Boy tempted him.

"Mario Kart," Xander countered.

"I don't think I've heard of that," Beast boy said thoughtfully, "and we've got all the games."

"No Mario Kart?" Xander asked before realizing he hadn't played it in this life. "Okay, looks like we have to make a video game… after we hack Nintendo's corporate office and make sure they aren't working on it already."

"How did you know about a game that hasn't been made?" Beast Boy asked, mentally making a note that Xander might either be psychic or a time traveler; he'd seen stranger.

"They're making Mario everything," Xander said, "so a Mario racing game would be awesome. I'll be shocked if they don't have one in development already."

'Or I could be overthinking it," Beast Boy decided. "Dibs on Luigi. You gotta love the green dude."

"I bet you say that to all the girls." Xander batted his lashes and Beast Boy burst out laughing.

"Good one! High Five!"

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o**

"They have an amazing collection of magical tomes," Tara said excitedly.

Xander searched his brain for something that was just on the edge of his memory as Tara enthused over the library.

"If we scan them into the computer it'll make finding things a snap," Willow pointed out.

"Or release a demon onto the internet to start World War Three," Xander said as he remembered what had happened with Moloch and an episode of Teen Titans where Raven was almost body jacked by a knock off Voldemort.

"Pardon?" Raven asked, trying not to show a reaction over the mention of demons.

"The dangers of a magical library are three-fold," Xander said grandly. "Or at least I'm saying three-fold because I know of three things you have to do with each magic book you get of questionable origins."

"I really need to do some research," Willow said, taking Xander's hand at the reminder that she had been neglecting him so much that he'd started researching things without her.

"Monks and wizards did some crazy stuff to keep their books safe," Xander explained. "Some would poison the pages, either deliberately with something deadly or accidentally with mercury from the candles they used."

"A tox scan is pretty easy," Cyborg offered.

"You also need to scan for rare fungal stuff that slowly drives people mad," Xander said. "Not sure which group was responsible for that, but it's been known to happen."

"Also pretty easy to handle," Cyborg said.

"The final danger is possession," Xander said. "Monks liked to bind demons in books and reading them can get you possessed, or your computer system taken over if scanned in."

"Not sure how we can check for that," Cyborg admitted.

"I can handle that," Raven assured him.

"And finally, mages have pulled the Diary trick from Harry Potter, so if a book is speaking to you or just always seems to open to the page you were looking for…"

"I need to go check something," Raven said, turning and rushing off.

"And that happened," Beast Boy said surprised. "Man, I always knew studying too much was dangerous."

"We need to build a new computer rig," Xander said, turning to Willow and jumping to another subject, "one that seats three."

"Seats three?" Tara asked.

"When parsing a lot of data it's best to have more than one set of eyes on it," Willow explained, "so with multiple monitors and shared resources you can get a lot done quickly."

"It's also great for multiplayer games and pirating anime," Xander added.

Raven entered with a large leather-bound tome in her hands, bands of black energy surrounding it. "Did anything you've read tell you how to destroy a possessed book?"

"Not really, but this is exactly the sort of thing you should pass off to the Justice League," Xander suggested.

"It would also give us a little more legitimacy in their eyes," Beast Boy said thoughtfully, "not to mention possibly give us a chance to pick the brain of their expert on where to get resources from the local magic scene."

"Good tactics," Willow said with approval. "Not one road to victory, but all roads."

"Achieving multiple goals with one action is the name of the game," he agreed with a grin.

"They are likely to send Zatara," Raven said with a frown.

"Damn," Beast Boy said, "he's not likely to be all that helpful."

"He's the one who didn't want to help with the incoming apocalypse?" Xander guessed.

"Bingo," Cyborg said. "He tried being polite and formal, but he was still dickish."

"Then use it to convince him you need safe resources to call upon," Willow suggested. "If he thinks you are playing with fire then he would be all sorts of reckless if he didn't give you the equivalent of the phone number to the local fire department and some pamphlets on fire safety."

"That could work," Beast Boy said tapping his chin as he planned out lines of conversation that could gain the appropriate response from the elder mage.

"Giovanni Zatara?" Tara asked just to be sure.

"That's him," Raven said, floating the book to a nearby table.

"He uses real magic in his stage shows," Cyborg said, "and works with the Justice League as their magic specialist."

"He also babysits me when mom has to go to a convention or meet with suppliers," Tara said.

"Homo Magi?" Xander guessed.

"How did you know about that?" Tara asked, surprised.

"I have approximate knowledge of many things," Xander said grandly.

"Homo Magi?" Willow asked.

"Unlike in Harry Potter blood purity does effect magical strength," Tara said, "but my family doesn't consider magic to be the most important part of who we are, so we didn't join the exodus when the rest of the mages left this dimension."

"Tara is at least partly from a different branch of humanity, one that contains all the magic DNA," Xander explained. "It's a bit like being a redhead, not that rare and usually only shows up when you have compatible genes, at least that's what I got from what I read."

"That is a strange way to look at it," Tara said trying not to giggle. "It's also why my magic isn't all that strong, the Maclay line doesn't mind marrying muggles."

The teens laughed.

"The community does keep a close eye on us and tries to match us with those with stronger bloodlines," Tara said, "but they do that with all the families that chose to stay on Earth. Unless I marry someone from the enclave, my children will probably have no magic to speak of."

"That's what genetic engineering is for," Willow said. "A little blood, a little mad science and presto, one magic baby."

"I don't think it's that simple," Tara said, "but like I said, magic isn't the center of our world, so I've never stressed over it. Not all magic comes from the blood, so as long as out traditions remain, I'm happy."

"Call the League," Raven said urgently as the book on the table started to vibrate causing the table to shake, the black energy that surrounded the book developing cracks that she had to force to seal.

"We're probably going to want to throw that out a window," Xander said, pushing the girls behind him.

"Calling the League now," Cyborg said holding a finger to his temple.

"What kind of situation are we looking at?" Beast Boy demanded.

"Whatever is in the book is about to break free," Xander guessed. "I'm thinking wizard, evil, dangerous."

"I can't hold him long," Raven warned, sweat breaking on her brow as she focused on keeping it contained.

"Window!" Xander said urgently as an alarm began to blare, telling the staff to scramble for the bunkers.

The widescreen TV sank into the floor, revealing a large picture glass window and Xander rushed to the table. Reaching for the book he thought better of it and simply picked up the table, book and all, and flung it through the window.

Raven collapsed to her knees, Tara quickly moving to support her as there was a large boom and a flash of light, like lightning had struck the ground outside the tower.

Everyone rushed to the window and stared as a winged reptile the size of a city bus roared and sent a lance of flame into the sky to announce its presence.

"Anyone got a plan for dealing with dragons?" Willow asked.

"I'll add it to the to do list," Beast Boy said.

 **Typing by: fyrewolf5**

 **TN: Poor Supes, he's as deep in denial as Lex.**

 **AN: *Snicker***


End file.
